Peter: You're Not...

Nobody:

Absolutely no one:

Kate just accidentally setting the training room on fire: Oops?

Clint, who just knew that special fire arrows are bad idea: Tony's gonna kill me.

Tony, being used to it because Peter blows up their lab every day: Kids.

apparently the Still Not Funny deleted scene is about Bucky ‘bringing a treat to Sam's family gathering’, and after talking to @logicheartsoul about it, i obvs had to write something

It was a joke.

Sam’d—very casually, if he’d say so himself—invited Bucky to the cookout. He’d been trying to relax into Bucky’s lone armchair, the TV on and playing something he’d never seen before.

Bucky, who had been sitting on the ground and leaning into the side of the chair, had froze, very minutely, then relaxed, asked what he should bring.

Sam had, very dryly, said, “Ice cream cake,” because Bucky’d tried to make them breakfast that morning and almost burned the eggs to a crisp. Sam was just being cautious, and yeah, okay, maybe also a little shit, but mostly cautious.

Bucky, the biggest little shit to have ever existed, took it personally, apparently, because here he was now, sunglasses on, wearing Sam’s Henley, driving Sam’s truck and joking with Sam’s nephews, carrying a lopsided ice cream cake that was very bravely fighting for its life in the heat of the afternoon.

Sam’s stupid, stupid heart did a stupid, stupid somersault.

He went on taking pictures and joking around and filling up his plate, feeling light and happy and on the edge of something wonderful, then Bucky was close, sunglasses hanging from the collar of his—Sam’s—Henley, his cheeks a bright red from the setting sun.

“Hey,” he said, voice light and so soft.

“Hey yourself.”

“Want a piece of cake?”

Sam gave him a flat look. “You’re not funny.”

Bucky’s smile went bigger, brighter, like he immediately knew what Sam was talking about.

“Dunno what you’re talking about,” he said.

“You’re full of shit,” Sam said, “and, still not funny. You’re not funny.”

“I just couldn’t come empty-handed, Samuel, I have manners.”

“You brought an ice cream cake.”

“It was a no-brainer, honestly.”

Sam rolled his eyes, fighting back a smile, then he turned back to watch the gentle waves and the sky as it changed colors.

The music was dying down, the day slowing and easing into the evening. Bucky was still standing just a step behind him, and Sam could feel his eyes on him.

His heart skipped a little as Bucky knocked his knuckles against his shoulder.

“Come on,” he said, so soft once again.

And Sam turned, gave into the urge and wrapped his arm around his shoulder to pull him closer.

Bucky came easily, his warmth seeking into Sam’s alright sun-warmed body, until it was almost too much.

He didn’t pull away.

Kate: I just kept talking, I couldn’t stop!

Clint: Isn’t that, I dunno, life for you?

New headcanon of the day:

Goody two shoes Peter parker got suspended only once in his life

Tony had to pick Peter up

When he asked the admin assistant what happened she brings out the incident report

Tony:...Peter got suspended..

The assistant: Mhm.

Tony: because he yelled at his science teacher for calling me 'not a real scientist '

Oh, he will do some terrible, awful things indeed, Brad. :]

Tony: honestly, you’re doing a lot better than i expected

Peter: it feels like all i managed to do is… not die

Tony: and believe me, that is a remarkably rare skill

I'm gonna name my cat after him.

What do you mean role playing, Mobius? We’re simply abiding local wardrobe traditions, everything else is simply a coincidence (including the choice of the hats)

Kristina: We've got to find a way to cut down our expenses. What can we live without?

Wille: August, probably.

Proof that Tony Stark is bisexual in the MCU

It is known that 616 Tony is bisexual. If you didn’t know – here’s the page from “Tony Stark: Iron Man (2018) #4”.

But is MCU Tony also bisexual? Let’s find out.

The Avengers:

0:43:10 - seems that Tony watched Rogers' movements at the end of his fight with Loki and liked what he saw.

1:10:08 - “Back off”.

2:08:30 – Sleeping Beauty.

Age of Ultron:

1:52:35 – Rhodey and Tony being a “couple”.

2:10:30 – Nat’s remark.

Civil War:

0:59:50 – huh?

Infinity War:

0:14:35 - Tony didn't know that was Levi.

0:17:08 – Tony noticed Strange’s hair moving.

0:19:15 - Strange's flirting and Tony's reaction.

1:18:50 – Tony and Strange are gazing into each other’s eyes and holding hands.

1:23:45 – again.

Endgame:

0:09:25 – Rogers’ face btw. Is he jealous here?

1:16:30 - Tony is staring at the America’s ass.

1:17:30 – Tony flicks Scott's butt.

1:20:00 – Tony is 100% okay with having a man inside him. Literally.

So what do we have?

He is comfortable touching men and being touched, even if he barely knows them. Even if it’s very gay.

He openly jokes about “gay” things.

He gazes into eyes of both Steves, Steves gaze back. Like, pretty often. Even Nat noticed this little habit.

He looks at men. Body, hair, ass. And he doesn’t hide it. That’s not so straight, I’d say.

Conclusion: Tony is bi. He is not latent, not really hidden one, just already in an established relationship with a woman and is faithful to her. He seems to be attracted to some guys though (we can see this towards Rogers and Strange).

Marvel shows it to us, and that’s actually the best we could get here. Because, unfortunately, the real international movie business is not yet ready for Iron Man to have a boyfriend. At least we can say he is canonically bisexual.