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Peter: *texting happy* Happy! Help, I’m being kidnapped!
Happy: *replying* where are you?
Peter: I’m with some strange person! In a car. Help!
Happy: I’ll call Tony
Tony: *answering his cell* Y’ello?
Happy: where’s Peter? He told me that he’s being kidnapped.
Tony: Peter? Whaddya mean, he’s sitting in the back seat right her-
Tony:
Tony: I’ll call you back. *hangs up*
Tony: *turns around in his seat to be facing Peter* UNDEROOS! MY GOATEE WILL GROW BACK!
Peter: *pushing himself against the car door* WHO ARE YOU?!
[ Someone says something 15/18+ ]
Steve: The children are here.
Kate: I'm twenty-fucking-three.
Wanda: I'm russian.
Tony: Peter is from Queens.
Peter: I've got nothing to say abt that.
Harley: I'm much worse then all of you.
Wade: You're not counting me as a child anymore.
Clint: Why the hell we adopted them?
Kate: *blink blink*
Clint: Oh yeah, nevermind.
Bonus
Sam: I thought the hawk girl is like, twelve.
Bucky: How they all ended up here?
Natasha: Since when there's so many kids?
Tony: Listen, I know I'm not your father-
Peter: I know.
Tony:
Peter: I know you're not my father Mr. Stark.
Tony: But-
Peter: Do you know?
Tony:
Peter: Do you know you're not my father?
Tony: Yes, I know.
Peter: You don't act like someone who is not my father, Mr. Stark.
Peter: What about you?
Tony: What? What about me?
Peter: What if someone needs you?
Tony: Nobody needs me.
Peter: I do. I need you.
Nobody:
Absolutely no one:
Kate just accidentally setting the training room on fire: Oops?
Clint, who just knew that special fire arrows are bad idea: Tony's gonna kill me.
Tony, being used to it because Peter blows up their lab every day: Kids.