Curate, connect, and discover
You: *on the phone* Wong? I need your help! I-
Wong: is the Sanctum on fire?
You: …no?
Wong: then it’s not an emergency *hangs up*
Wanda: well? what did he say? what do we do about the portal to hell in the living room?
You: apparently it’s not an emergency
Stephen: *being strangled by a demon* HOW THE FUCK IS THIS NOT AN EMERGENCY??
Ajax: Kids did you buy eggs like I asked?
Sersi: Even better!
Ajax:...What did you do girls?
Sprite *holding up a chicken*: HERE!
Sersi: Her name is Lucy!
Mobius: Ugh, I can't believe were stuck in the same room.
Loki*the one who ate the key*: Yeah.. Sad, so sad.
*Sam talking with Sharon*
*Bucky walking in being hot*
Sam*staring*
Sharon: *laughing*
*Bucky now leaving*
Sam: Do I have daddy issues?
Sharon:*now laughing histercally*
Zemo*popping out from nowhere*:Did someone said Daddy?
Sharon*rolling her eyes*:Every single time
(Sets the kitchen on fire)
Kingo: We need an adult!
Ikaris: We are adults!
Kingo *looking horrified*: Oh..
Sprite: We need and aduliter adult! I'll go get KARUN!
*Karun filming for the documentary*
Kingo: Good responses for being stabbed in the back? GO!
Makkari *signing*: Rude.
Druig: Seems fair.
Ikaris:Not again.
Thena: Do you want it back?
Gilgamesh: Nice, where did you get this blade?
Sersi: Auch? That wasn't really nice of you.
Sprite: Finally a end to my eternal suffering.
Phastos: Just do it quickly, I have a lot to do.
*Ajax just dosen't know how to deal with this, too much to fix*
Kingo: Depression? Isn't that just a fancy word for feeling "bummed out".
Sprite: Kingo you ignorant slut.
*When the Eternals argue*
Thena: Yeah! It's all a shame!
Gilgamesh: What is it, love?
Thena: I don't know, I wanted to feel involved.
Gilgamesh:May I join you?
Thena: Sure :)
Gilgamesh: All of this SHAME!
Ikaris: Are we filtring or are we fighting?
Sersi: I broke a fucking tooth, and we have no cash! What are you talking about!!
Ikaris: Still proving my point...Mix messages.
Ajax: No, Thena. You are way too dangerous without Gilgamesh, to take care of you.
Thena: Dangerous? Me? How so?
Ajax: I don't know does the disappearance of Atlantis rings a bell with you?
Thena: Oh come on, it was an accident!
Ajax: The leaning tower of Pisa?
Thena: I didn't see it.
Ajax: The area 51.
Thena:Oh, yeah. Okay I did go too far there.. But I was drunk.
Gilgamesh: Great point of view love.
Ikaris:How's the most beautiful person of the universe doing?
Sersi:I don't know, how are you feeling?
Ikaris:Dead...
*Druig and Phastos drunk*
Druig: Do you notice that whatever Ikaris does pisses off everyone?
Phastos: Totally!
*Ikaris doing his own thing eating chicken*
Druig: Look at that bitch eating chicken like nothing.
Phastos: Why you eating chicken bitch?
*The eternals existing*
Phastos: This family wants to make me wanna murder people...
Druig:I'm...wait for it...in...wait for it...love...wait for it...
*Sersi rolling her eyes while reading her magazine*
Druig: With...wait for it...a...wait for it...
*Sersi starting to loose her patience*
Druig: Certain... wait for it
Sersi *screaming a bit*: I know that you're in love with Makkari!
Druig: I don't love her ok?
*Sersi smashing the magazine to Druig*
Druig: Fine! I just miss her when she's not around, I think about her when I see something I know she would like, and I see her in slow motion...
Sersi: Please tell me you're hearing yourself.
Druig: Oh shit, I'm in love with her...
Ikaris: What I do is look a person up and down, and say "how you doing"
Kingo: Oh, please.
Ikaris: Hey, pretty how you doing?
*Kingo giggles like a teen girl*
Sersi: I'm done with this. I'm going to sleep. Ikaris, spoon with me. We need to huddle for the warmth.
* Ikaris going too Sersi*
Kingo: No, Ikaris is my best friend, he's going to spoon with me!
Sersi: I called first spoon, beside's he's my husband! Ikaris come over here right now!
Kingo: Ikaris, don't throw away a lifelong friendship for a one nigh spoon with angel pie over there.
Ikaris:Ok, enough! We are going to lay down and triple spoon like grown ups! Come'on bring it in!
*In the early 2000's*
Phastos *filiming Ajax*: Mother are you homophobic?
Ajax: Number one you're gay.
Phastos*cracking up*
Ajax*pointing at Sprite*: Number two I have a non binary kid.
Phastos*cracking up more*
Ajax: Number three I watch Rupal's drag race, how can I be homophobic Phastos?!
*Thena and Gilgamesh searching for Jack*
Thena: Jack,where are you?
Gilgamesh: Have any of you seen our nephew? Oh my god...
Thena: The mother adrenaline is kicking in! JACK!
Gilgamesh: I can see every equation!
Thena:Excuse me, have you seen him? Have you seen my nephew?
Random dude: How is he?
Thena and Gilgamesh: Average height, brown hair, brown eyes, clearly gay but we haven't had the talk.
Ikaris: Druig, think you can answer questions without the usual level of sarcasm when I speak to you.
Druig:Ok, if you don't ask stupid questions, I wont answer with sarcasm.
*Everyone standing in front of the broken ship*
Phastos*signing*: So who broke it? I'm not mad I just wanna know.
Sersi*signing too*: I did it, I broke it.
Phastos*signing*: No, no you didn't. Druig anything to say?
Druig*signing*: Don't look at me, look at Ikaris.
Ikaris*signing*: What? I didn't break it!
Druig*signing*:Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it's broken huh?
Makkari*signing*: Dear....
Ikari*signing*: For the last time Druig I didn't broke it!
Druig:Suspicious...
Ikaris: NO, is not!
Thena*whispering*: Wanna go get coffe?
Gligamesh*whispering back*:Yeah, let's leave this bullshit.
Kingo*signing*: If It matters, probably not, but Sprite was the last one to use it, for that mission.
Sprite*signing*:Liar! I don't even touch that crap!
Phastos: Hey, hey, hey. It's not a crap.
Kingo*signing*: Oh, really Sprite, then why did you enter the ship before.
Sprite*signing*: It's where I have my console! Everybody knows that!
Sersi:Ok, let's not fight. I broke it, let me pay for it Phastos.
Phastos:No, who of you broke it!
Makkari*signing*:This is fucking stupid.
Druig*signing*: I'll say it again. It was defently Ikaris, he's the one with laser eyes, and he's been awfully quiet.
Ikaris*signing while screaming*: OH REALLY?! You're a big piece of shit.
Makkar*signing*:Oh, you shouldn't say that.
*everyone starts to argue*
*Phastos leaving following Gligamesh and Thena*
Phastos: I'm the one who broke it, I wanted to try this thing of Star Wars, that makes you wanna go to the speed of light.
Gligamesh: Yeah, we know it's you.
Thena: Interesting mind game, my friend...
Phastos: Poor dummies.
Sersi: I have a bad feelings about this.
Ikari: What do you mean love?
Sersi:Don't you ever get that little voice that tells you if something is going to get you in trouble?
Ikaris: That the first time I heard about such a kind thing...
Sersi: Love, that actually explains a lot.
Phastos: Why did you give my kid a knife again?
Thena: Easy, he said he felt unsafe, so I gave him one of my knives and show him some tricks.
Phastos:Now, I feel unsafe...
Thena: Want a knife?
Ikaris: I need you.
Sersie: For?
Ikaris: For ever.
Sersie *voice cracking*:Oh...
Ikaris: Druit you have to work on your manners, humans are complaining. You should say please and thank you, at least.
Druig: Ok, let me try. Ikaris.
Ikaris: Ok, go ahead
Druig:Ikaris, my friend please shut the fuck up, thank you.
Ikaris: Not what I meant but that's something.
Druig: I find attractive when Makkari.
Thena* a bit done with it*: When Makkari what?
Druig: Yes.
Thena*rolling her eyes*: Phastos and Kingo were right, I should stayed in earth, they said that you would do this. But NO I have this need to help everyone, so shit.
Druig: You didn't understand, right. She's perfect every single minute and does everything amazing.
Phastos: I know you're deflecting by making jokes about how " hot" you are.
Druig: It not a joke, it never was. I'm legit a snack.
Phastos*deep breathe*
Sersie: Today is Ikaris and my one-year-aniversary!
Phastos: O what is it? The first kiss? The first date? The first time having sex? The first I love you? What is it?
Sersie: Uhm, well... Yes, just yes.
*Sersie crying*
Ikaris: What happened?! Are you ok?!
Sersie *cleaning her tears*:Oh don't worry it's just the onions.
Ikaris:WHAT THE FUCK DID THE ONIONS SAID! TELL ME RIGH NOW!
*Ikaris existing*
Druig *signing to Makkari*: Can I shoot him, love?
Makkari *signing*: Not in public, dear.
Peter: *texting happy* Happy! Help, I’m being kidnapped!
Happy: *replying* where are you?
Peter: I’m with some strange person! In a car. Help!
Happy: I’ll call Tony
Tony: *answering his cell* Y’ello?
Happy: where’s Peter? He told me that he’s being kidnapped.
Tony: Peter? Whaddya mean, he’s sitting in the back seat right her-
Tony:
Tony: I’ll call you back. *hangs up*
Tony: *turns around in his seat to be facing Peter* UNDEROOS! MY GOATEE WILL GROW BACK!
Peter: *pushing himself against the car door* WHO ARE YOU?!