Starkid Jokes Everyone Forgets About - The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals Edition

Starkid Jokes Everyone Forgets About - The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals Edition

“You know how much of that money actually goes to the sea turtles?” “Well none I just made it up.” “That’s right, none!”

“It all goes to line the pockets of some corporate bigwigs, I give my money directly to the people who need it!” “Spare change for the homeless?” “Sorry I don’t have anything.”

Peanuts the squirrel

“You mean like a flash mob?” “Yeah, I mean, what else could it have been?” “Well did you get a video of it?” “No.” “You’re fucking useless Paul!”

“Melissa get my wife on the phone for me!” “Mr. Davidson I think I should leave.” “No Paul, I want you to hear this, if you leave you’re fired.”

That thing Jeff/Mr. Davidson does with his jaw when he’s on the phone with his wife.

“I know this is probably a bad time but uh, do you like film?” “You know what Paul it is a bad time!”

“Professor Hidgens! I’m his favorite student because I brought him groceries once?”

“Well if this is the apocalypse, maybe we should go to a church?” “No, no, no we are all from different denominations, and we cannot split up. I’m a Presbyterian I’m not gonna die in your dirty-ass Methodist church.”

“Who is it?” “Professor Hidgens?” “Don’t lie to me whoever you are, I’M Professor Hidgens!”

(Alexa chime)

“Wait! Ted! My husband’s brains fell out today~ If I cant be a wife to him now what kind of woman am I?” “I don’t know Charlotte, I’m not your therapist!” ... “your husband’s dead you should upgrade... to a sleazeball”

The Grace Chastity rant (“And now I’M defending Grace Chastity of all people!”)

“Should I take this chair?” “I’ll get the piano!”

“I feel so bad about how I treated Erica back there...” “Emma.” “Gahzunteit”

*Lauren dragging herself on the ground* “Fuuuuuuck” “Emma... I hate to say it now but that’s what seatbelts are for.” “Shiiiiiit.”