Latest Posts by orange-sherbxrt - Page 4

If you call pedophilia a kink please unfollow me and never talk to me again

Imagine giving Thorin and Bilbo a hit off your joint

Kili: something smells

You: *sniffs* I know what that is, it’s my weed *pulls out the tin you keep your stache in and opens it*

Bilbo: that is some pungent pipeweed

You: wanna try some?

Bilbo: sure why not

You: anyone else want some?

Thorin: I’m bored so I’ll have some

You: alright then *lights up the joint and takes a puff to get it going before passing it to Bilbo*

Bilbo: I just take a puff?

You: *nods your head* start off with one and then work your way up to a second if the first didn’t do much*

Bilbo: *takes a drag before handing it to Thorin*

Thorin: *takes a puff and proceeds to cough like an amateur* that is some skunky stuff.

Bilbo: I don’t feel anything.

You: give it time. *finishes off the joint in a few puffs*

*half and hour later*

Bilbo: *lying on the floor, drool coming out the side of his mouth and just staring wide eyed at the ceiling*

Thorin: *slumped over on the couch* why do the back of my eyes hurt?

You: it causes rapid eye movements

Thorin: I’m super hungry

You: and the munchies

Thorin: I’m going to go see if there is anything left to eat *gets up and steps over Bilbo*

Bilbo: *grabs onto Thorin’s ankle*

Thorin: *drags Bilbo with him*

Dwalin: how come you are unaffected by the pipeweed?

You: I’m used to it.

Bilbo: *starts cackling for no reason in the other room*

Kili: *enters the room* why is uncle just sitting in the pantry eating a whole onion?

You: munchies man, munchies. He’s lucky y'all cleaned most of the pantry out already or the two of them would, I know I’ve done that before.

Imagine swapping bodies with Thorin

You: *wakes up needing to pee only to discover you’re in Thorin’s body* huh

Kili: something wrong Uncle?

You: very wrong, will you go get Gandalf?

Kili: uh sure

You: *nudges your body* wake up

Thorin: what’s going on *looks at you, realizes that he’s starting at his face and he gets annoyed* what the fuck happened?

You: no idea, but Kili is getting Gandalf as we speak so hopefully we’ll find out soon

*ten minutes later*

Gandalf: I haven’t a single inkling as to how this happened but I do know that the spell should wear off in three weeks.

Thorin: fucking fantastic, what are we to do until then? What if we get attacked during that time.

You: not a clue, but you will experiencing what menstruation is like in oh… Three days, maybe four.

Thorin: … I hate everything

*two days later*

Thorin: it started, this isn’t so bad it’s just a little blood.

You: give it two days and then try telling me that.

*two days later*

Thorin: *hunches over in pain*

Dwalin: are you in pain

Thorin: it’s horrible.

You: yup

Thorin: (y/n), you know I’ve been stabbed right? This hurts more than being literally stabbed in the gut.

You: really?

Thorin: yes, I think I’d rather be stabbed actually, than have to go through this. Your pad looks like a battle field, and I cried for no god damn reason like three times since yesterday. I’m sick of this! I want something fried, and something sweet!!

You: *pats him on the back* I will give you medicine to make the pain go away.

Thorin: *sniffles*

Imagine saying some of the most horrifying and confusing things the dwarves have ever heard

You: *looking at a ferret for sale in the market, sleep in the most ferret way possible* bones are a suggestion.

Thorin: Mahal, never heard that before

You: *watching a cat in the bar, chase flies* he craves the sky raisins

Bilbo: *snorts and has beer come out his nose*

You: *happily cooing about Thorin as he sleeps* he’s so cute when he’s breathing.

Kili: *glances over at Dwalin and mouths* what the fuck?

Dwalin: *mouths back* they’re weird and apparently like Thorin.

You: life is a slow agonizing march to death.

Ballin: *has an existential crisis start because of you*

You: *setting a bunch of leaves on fire* and the world shall be consumed in the fire of my will, and it shall kneel before me.

Bofur: kid, you can be kind of scary sometimes

You: *looks him in the eyes and softly sings* I’m a little tea pot short and stout

Bofur: alright then

You: *knocks a wine goblet off the table* fuck the police!

Dwalin: *slightly offended*

Actually fuckin cryin😂

I need this rn 😭

What’s your fantasy?

:/

Please

May the 10 of Pentacles bless your account with more money than you can spend. 💵✨

Thorin, Fili, and Kili: *dies*

Me:

All parts of The Great Unknown

I’ll be adding the chapters of my fic The Great Unknown in this post.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

Part 11

Part 12

Part 13

Part 14

Part 15

Part 16

Reblog this and money will be entering your life this week

Yes pls

Concept: Steve calling you, “Pretty baby” as he brushes your hair back and tucks it behind your ear, as you’re tied up to the bed, and at his mercy about to be wrecked.

love that gen zed humour

from @that-stark-family ‘s text post (x) 

#good with his legs

Sweet Pea: Do you have any idea how many times I’ve had to get out of handcuffs?

Y/N: Well, that’s great, but what have you been doing that’s got you arrested so many times?

Sweet Pea: Arrested?

Thanos: i sense an infinity stone concealed somewhere in this room

Everyone: [turns to loki]

Loki:

Here is your riverdale boy 💚

💗💗💗

Superheroes being 197% done with wii music playing

Glorious

x

me @ loki’s death in Infinity War

here’s something I think since Ragnarok …

Omfg

A series of Brooklyn 99 gifs to symbolise my feelings towards Riverdale

another bad post from yours truly

15/? » sweet pea gifs #hot2

an unstoppable force vs an immovable object

based on: this post

Fangs: i know what’s going on in your head

Sweet pea: oh, well then, welcome to the terror dome

bucky in fic: steve u asshole u could’ve been killed! what were u thinking? let me bandage u up and get u a nice cup of tea, i love u so much

actual bucky:

sweet pea: i'm really glad "fight me" has replaced "sue me" in everyday vocabulary because i don't have any money but i do have fists and am always angry.