Orangesandlemons3 - Orange The Ace

I feel confident enough to post these now. A collection of all the existing posters after some edits from the other post that got 13k notes! These are full size/quality. Go nuts.

You may use them for wallpapers, tabletop campaigns, whatever. Consider tipping me (do people use kofi for that or tumblr's built in system? Let me know what you prefer) or buying a print or sticker here! If you do use them, let me know what for, or send pictures!

Dear people living on your own for the first time:

Here’s some advice I wasn’t told from the myriad of posts before that I wish I’d been given before

Wash the OUTSIDE of your pots and pans as well as the cooking surface. I’ve had a few roommates now who have only cleaned the inside and I’ve had to replace a $150 set of cookware twice.

“its only one time, how bad could using metal on nonstick cookware really be?” very bad. don’t do this.

Buy a rice cooker. Buy the middle tier rice cooker. Cheap ones will burn your rice, high tier ones are too expensive. Rice is good and cheap and, really, you don’t actually have to wash it if you don’t care about making gourmet food.

Buy band-aids. You don’t think you need band-ads until you need a band-aid, and by then it’s too late. (if you don’t follow this advice, a paper towel and some tape is an acceptable solution while you go get real bandages and neosporin)

You are on tumblr, which means you probably spend most of your time in one spot on a computer or phone. if this spot doesn’t have a trash can in arm’s reach, put one there.

 I spent 4 years piling trash on my desk in increasingly precarious ways until I had a designated area to put it. Trash cans can and should go anywhere there is a frequent generation of trash, typical locations be damned.

If you live with one or two roommates, discuss placing empty boxes in the back of your fridge and freezer. You probably don’t need all the space that the standard 5-person-family fridge provides, and tupperware will be shoved back there and left to stink up the entire appliance.

Get a wall calendar, put it somewhere communal, and have everyone put their household-relevant schedules on it. Communication is by far the weakest link with roommates (even good ones!) and having something to reference for appointments is always good

“I’m sure you’ll meet the right one and will have a bunch of children one day. (:”

My ace ass:

Me, an asexual: my sexuality makes me invisible. Watch this.

Friend: you know that's just metaphorical, right? You aren't actually-

Me: *walks up to a store employee* I'm asexual.

Store employee: haha no you're not. No one is asexual, that's not a thing. You can't live without sex, honey. You're just a late bloomer haha or maybe you're saving yourself for someone special. Or you're just so sad and pathetic that you can't find a boyfriend. Or are you gay? You're totally gay, just admit it. You ...

Me: *steals a cake, three oranges, and a dozen candy bars under their nose while they continue to talk nonsense*

Friend: holy heck

we have GOT to kill tiktok/twitter self-censorship i just witnessed a grown adult say the word “smex” out loud to our professor

I was reading this shitty horror novella, and one detail that really stuck out to me is that this girl main character (who wore a nightgown throughout) was surprised by her period, and out of shame took off her soiled underwear and hid them. this wasn’t her first period or anything, it just caught her off guard. which, sure, that happens. but she then proceeded to walk around the house underwearless for the rest of the novella. I was reading this like………so is she just freebleeding??? is she leaving a trail everywhere she goes? what’s happening here? is the nightgown white? is she bleeding up the place in her white nightgown while everyone else is too polite to comment on it? she has multiple conversations with other people. are they blind? do they not care? is this normal?

after I finished the book I looked up the author, and it was a cis dude. that was a big ohhhh moment. like he just didn’t know…..that he wrote a novella about a freebleeder. he didn’t know that he was creating this insanity-inducing situation with no explanation. but did his editor not know? did nobody who initially read it know? why didn’t they know? what’s happening?

I get that being frozen for 100 years is a tough thing to go through but honestly Aang should have used it for comedy more

To The Substitute Art Teacher - Jordan Bolton

*inspired by that Obi Wan's false sense of superiority post* What we need is an animated series about the psychologist who has to deal with these sentient tire fires. I mean, I'm a human tire fire and even I get help, these guys have no excuse. It needs to be filmed like The Office and as tongue-in-cheek as possible

Look I would pay real currency to watch a series of Anakin and Obi-Wan’s couples counseling. The angst and the passive-aggressiveness and the “I’m fine it’s fine everything’s fine” “NO IT’S NOT OBI-WAN NOTHING IS FINE”. Or individual Jedi counseling.

Better: I want to watch the documentary/mockumentary made by a GFFA psychologist who embeds themselves with the Jedi Order to better understand how they can all be so chill and collected – What’s their secret? How can we all learn, from their example, to embrace serenity in our own lives? – who eventually, as the documentary wears on, comes to realize that THE JEDI ORDER IS COMPRISED ENTIRELY OF EMOTIONAL TRAINWRECKS.