Trauma-Punk (Coining)

what does nccsa mean?

con contact child sexual abuse, its sexual abuse that didnt involve any touching, examples below

Developing an Inner Safe Space for Parts

Note: This post was written for people with dissociative disorders, but anyone else can use the methods here if they're helpful!

This post is all about inner safe spaces! What is an inner safe space, though? Here's what Coping with Trauma-related Dissociation says:

"Inner safe spaces are images of places where you can be safe, relaxed, and cared for. These images have been shown to be helpful to many people, not just those with dissociative disorders. This type of imaginal activity is well known to produce a feeling of relaxation and well-being in those who use it regularly. If your inner experience feels so jarring, unsafe, and frightening, as it often does in individuals with dissociative disorders, the ability to imagine these spaces becomes especially important and helpful."

Inner safe spaces can be useful for many things. You can use it to relax & alleviate anxiety. It can be a tool for soothing dissociated parts of the self, or aide in your communication with them. You or other parts can enter your inner safe space to protect yourself from feeling overwhelmed or potential triggers. Overall, creating an inner safe space can help make your mind a safer, calmer place.

So, how do you make one? All you have to do is imagine it!

Your inner safe space can be anything you want to imagine. There are no rules and it can always be changed! You can create one imaginary place for all parts of your system to share & add to. Or, each part of your system can create their own inner safe spaces to match their own needs. Some people already experience some sort of inner world, too. This can always be changed in order to make it feel safer and calmer for all parts of the system.

🌟 Ideas for inner safe spaces:

Outdoor areas like a meadow, beach, forest, mountain, etc.

Buildings like a cabin, tree house, castle, library, etc.

Vehicles like a car, pirate ship, submarine, spacecraft, etc.

Something underground, underwater, in the sky, or in space.

An entire planet or world of your own.

A fictional world that brings you comfort.

An inner safe space isn't a safe space if it doesn't make you, including all parts of you, feel safe. A good place to start is by writing down things that make you feel safe. If you don't know what makes you feel safe, try looking at what makes you feel less unsafe. It might also help to ask a loved one or therapist for help!

Invite your system to include their own needs, too. Try not to judge them even if you disagree. It's important for all parts of the system to feel safe.

🌟 Ideas for things that you can add/adjust to make your inner safe space feel more comfortable:

Add games, food, and movies that you like

Create individual rooms for each part of the system

Give yourself an inner appearance that makes you happy

Add your favorite colors, sounds, smells, & sights

Add people, characters, animals & creatures that you like

Give yourself a comfortable bed, with soft blankets & maybe even some plushies

Add pride flags!

Create a protective force field around your safe space

You or other parts may want to have a safe space that no one else can intrude upon and that's okay. It's important to respect each other's privacy. You can also adjust the inner safe space to make communication between parts easier! For example, you could add intercoms, mailboxes, telephones, or even a meeting area for aiding communication.

🌟 Having trouble visualizing, or can't visualize things at all? Try...

Drawing or painting it.

Writing about it.

Building it. You can use a video game like the Sims (get it for free!) or Minecraft.

Basing it off of a real place.

Collecting photos/videos of what you want it to be like. You can find royalty-free images on Unsplash and Pixabay. Or you create a Pinterest account!

Filling a journal, document, blog, or discord server with pictures, writing, and anything you want about your inner safe space!

Trying guided exercises for creating inner safe spaces. (IMO this is best done with a therapist's help.)

Asking your friends, therapist, or loved ones for their suggestions.

Creating a physical safe space instead of an inner one.

Types of Protectors

Executive/Primary Protector

Oversee general/all system safety matters

Their views and decisions about system safety carry the most weight - their word is final

(Usually) in systems with several protectors - serves an organisational purpose

Tend to be more active than other protectors

Carer/Caregiver

Focus on caring for other system members and the body (emotional & physical well-being)

E.g. hygiene, body health, taking a break when needed, emotional support & care, healthy coping mechanisms

Can be caring for a group of alters, a specific alter, or everyone and anyone in system

(Carers who take care of specifically littles, for example)

Soother

Help calm down emotions when they are overwhelming (e.g. anxiety, panic)

Can either be by supporting an alter internally, getting them to use methods to calm themselves down, or, in some cases, simply the presence of a soother helps dial down emotions

Social Protector

Handle social situations that are considered unsafe by an alter or the system generally

This can be a specific event (parties, going out with friends) or something more longterm (issues between people in a social group - friends, school, work, clubs, online communities ...)

Sexual Protector

Set (sexual) boundaries when others in system find it difficult to

Make sure sexual relations/interactions remain healthy & safe

Can also sometimes take over when whoever's fronting can't handle something sexual

Avenger

Hold anger or/and hatred towards abusers and others who hurt the system

Are often unafraid of putting their foot down when need be

Perse-Protector

Fulfill both the persecutor/prosecutor and also the protector role

Aim to protect the system, which they do successfully to an extent, however sometimes they persecute out of misguidance/misunderstanding

Believe the persecution they do is in order to keep the system safe

Oftentimes, recovering persecutors are a perse-prot at some point (not always though!)

Protectors can fit several subtypes, or none at all! Every system is unique and requires unique roles and alters to fulfill them.

(This is just the ones we're aware of, and definitions can vary slightly. Feel free to add other types or definitions! :))

hi! do u know anything about the term “childhood torture” vs general childhood abuse manipulation and gaslighting… and mind control vs manipulation and gaslighting? some people also say though who go through childhood torture are also automatic ramcoa victims but I’m unsure abt that? if it’s done by a family and not an organization would it still be ramcoa? or what exactly is sadistic or severe abuse vs regular abuse.. bc I see a lot of people specifying ramcoa as the most severe abuse or talking about “severe abuse/trauma” vs regular abuse ..

To be honest I do not think RA/OA is the "most severe abuse" nor do I think it is particularly conducive to rank abuse on that kind of scale. Yes some stuff is objectively pretty bad but I think framing RAMCOA as "the most severe" is the exact reason that so many people are suspecting they have RA or polyfragmentation: because they think that it would HAVE to be really bad if they are experiencing the things they are, when in reality whatever it is they experienced was clearly already really bad. (And since we're on this topic, being triggered by RAMCOA or other forms of extreme abuse does not mean you are a survivor. Even nonsurvivors get triggered by this)

Also again RAMCOA is not all equivalent. A trafficking survivor will not have the same experiences as a child soldier nor are their experiences now somehow equivalent. If we insist on using a scale like this then I would say if you are alive you have not experienced the worst thing, because most "worst things" to experience will kill you.

"Childhood torture" is not really a specific term, it is just a type of experience, similar to 'sexual abuse' or 'physical abuse'. It is torture you experienced in childhood, with no other requirements.

Torture can sometimes be conducted by a single individual, though it is difficult and will not be effective for any sort of psychological control. Torture conducted this way is not for any end goal but for the perpetrator's emotional release. So not every torture survivor is a RAMCOA survivor. Most of the time, torture does have an organized abuse component, for various reasons but the most glaring one being the amount of resources required to torture a person without anyone else finding out, which is why many torture survivors are RAMCOA survivors. Torture typically has both a physical and psychological component. Gaslighting is not torture. Manipulation is not torture. Gaslighting and manipulation can be a part of torture but there is kind of a big difference between something like waterboarding versus gaslighting. Legally, torture is very loosely defined but this is more due to the wide variety of methods people come up with in torture that courts want to be able to define as torture, not that torture is itself vague or difficult to differentiate. For example, forcing people to drink until they get water poisoning and slowly die is a documented form of torture. Which is a really weird thing to do and probably not something a court could come up with listing if they wanted to do a list of actions that qualify as torture. An example of psychological torture would be being forced to watch or participate in someone you love being tortured or killed.

The term severe sadistic abuse is really hard because it IS vague but there is not really a good way to term it without getting into details that can be triggering. Severe sadistic abuse in academic writings includes torture and terrorism survivors, and frequently cites the Holocaust as an example. If that gives you a good baseline idea of what the line is. I think when discussing academic terms it is important to remember that terms are created because they serve a function. If severe sadistic abuse was equivalent to gaslighting, manipulation, they would not have created the term because both emotional and psychological abuse already exist as terms. For example, gaslighting is only a term because it is not just lying but an explicit and intentional attempt to manipulate someone's perception of themselves and their reality and make them reliant on an abuser to tell what is true or not. If "lying" or "manipulation" fit then there would be no need for the term.

If you're going to be "transRAMCOA", I'm going to demand that you start by paying reparations to all the real survivors out there.

My therapy with a DID and RAMCOA specialist (very hard to find, btw) costs me almost $7000 a year. Let's start there, shall we? That's almost $600 a month. Just on therapy. That I am incredibly lucky to have access to. Most survivors are shit out of luck and have to try to heal without a specialist.

I've lost untold amounts (hundreds of thousands at least) in lost income opportunities because of how disabling being a survivor is. I can't work a regular full time job and will probably never be able to. I've been "working" (read: pimped out by my own parents) since I was a little kid but the skills of a child sex worker aren't exactly transferable to the normie world, y'know?

I get by with a lot of help from some understanding roommates and friends that I'm lucky, VERY lucky, to have. This is to say nothing about the *quality* of that life (not great) beyond what capitalism or money cares about, because of course I'm constantly Experiencing Symptoms. On account of all of the trauma.

I can't even go to the bathroom like a normal person because of how much the constant rape fucked everything up downstairs. There is no fixing this. I will deal with many of the medical and mental complications for the rest of my life and this is just one of them. (Does it still sound like a fun thing to roleplay?)

The first ~20 years of my life were a living hell beyond what most of you can even imagine. My life is also statistically likely to be much shorter than the average person's. What kind of price can I even put on all those lost years? I can't. But you could pay me enough to not have to work for all the years remaining to me. If you want to pay me, say.... $100k a year for the rest of my life so that I can live what little is left to me in peace, then I would be happy to consider you an honorary RAMCOA survivor. I'll even write you a nice little certificate you can frame. I'll give you regular updates on how my therapy is going, so you can (sort of, not really though, you could never understand if you haven't lived it) experience this mAgIcAL hEaLiNg jOuRneY vicariously through me.

Go on, then. You want to be us so bad? Find a REAL survivor, and pay up. Otherwise get the fuck out of my community and stay out. Surviving RAMCOA is not a fun little identity label for you to play around with, it's REAL shit that ruins the lives of REAL people every day. I live with this, EVERY day. It's not a fun little game I can stop when I get tired of playing. This is my LIFE.

So pay up, or fuck off.

Disorganized Attachment and Dissociation

As promised, Anon, here’s a VERY quick and dirty rundown of disorganized attachment and the role it plays in the development of dissociation. Sorry it took so long ;–; This doesn’t even begin to cover it, but I hope it at least gives people a basic understanding.

Please remember, this is so incredibly brief and barely scratches the surface. It’s a really interesting field of research, and it has a lot of important (and good!) implications to therapy techniques and models. I highly encourage people that are interested to look through some of the below resources, or make a request for any specific aspects you want discussed further. Apparently, left to my own devices with a broad topic, I fail to be coherent.

What is disorganized attachment (DA)?

There are technically 4 types of attachment between a child and caregiver, differentiated by response patterns. The first 3 types (secure, insecure-avoidant, and insecure-ambivalent) are considered forms of “organized attachment”, despite the negative behaviours associated with it, because even if they’re not “secure”, the behaviour patterns are still organized and, more importantly, consistent. In other words, in all 3 types of organized attachment, the child knows exactly what they need to do to meet their emotional needs, and the patterns in their behaviour are considered organized.

In DA, though, the child is confused, and there’s no pattern to their behaviour. They’re torn between wanting to flee to, and flee from the caregiver. When a caregiver is unpredictable and traumatizing, the child has a difficult time establishing a consistent view of the caregiver, and of themselves. In other words, the caregiver is both needed, and someone to be avoided, and the child may not understand what makes them a “good” or “bad” child, as the caregiver’s behavior is often confusing and unpredictable.

It’s summed up quite well in this image:

What causes disorganized attachment?

All the same standard things you would already know about. Abuse, neglect, behaviour that’s frightening, intrusive or insensitive, and disrupted affective communication, but it really boils down to, “A parent’s consistent failure to respond appropriately to their child’s distress, or by a parent’s inconsistent response to their child’s feelings of fear or distress.” And this happens in childhood. The way a baby or very young child form attachments are the base building blocks that a child will use to build their relationships with people in the future. 

It’s important to note that it’s not just abuse that can cause a child to form DA. Sometimes loving caregivers who have experienced trauma themselves can behave in confusing ways toward the child, especially if they are suffering untreated PTSD or DID themselves. This happens because of the caregiver’s own inability to control their emotions. Traumatized parents can have a difficult time managing their emotions and providing a sense of security for the child even though they are not abusive or neglectful. Anger or fear can erupt unexpectedly and traumatize the child. 

As well, “Disorganized attachment is often the result of intergenerational parenting patterns. This means parents are responding to their children in the same unhealthy ways their own parents responded to them when they were children.”

What role does disorganized attachment play in dissociation?

This one is… A bit tough. There’s a lot of factors in play and so much ground to cover.

First, when discussing dissociation, it’s talking about it in a general sense. Everyone is capable of dissociating, and it’s simply when you become detached from reality in response to trauma– at any age, for any kind of traumatic event.  It’s also important to note that without a secure attachment style, an overwhelming event is more likely to be perceived as trauma. Basically, though, dissociation is a general symptom in this regard, not specific to any single disorder. DA is linked to dissociation, and from there, combined with other symptoms someone may be experiencing, it can become problematic and be assigned to specific mental disorders. 

So, the child needs to maintain a relationship with the caregiver– they have no one else to turn to, so the child can develop dissociation as a way to make sense of themselves, and to maintain a child-caregiver relationship. They may “forget” the abuse, or deny it. “It is an adaptive and defensive strategy that enables the child to function within the relationship, but it often leads to the development of a fragmented sense of self.” This fragmented sense of self may or may not develop into something worse– namely, BPD and DID based on severity, frequency, and whether there was any sense of reprieve (i.e. a child can avoid the worst of dissociative symptoms if one of their parents was more supportive, because it helps them build some positive attachments).

Children with DA and suffering from abuse “are likely to generate two or more dissociated self states, with contradictory working models of attachment,” in order to handle their confusing relationship with the caregiver. From there, “It is proposed that the propensity to react to traumatic events with dissociation is related to disorganization of early attachment and its developmental sequelae.” This is fundamentally the basis of why DID can’t form once the child creates an integrated sense of self. It is theorized that DA and dissociative disorders are inexplicably linked together. You can have DA and not develop DID/OSDD, but you can’t have DID/OSDD without DA. 

A lot of new research is suggesting that it’s not so much trauma as we know it (physical and sexual abuse) that is linked to dissociation, but that trauma is something that is far more discrete and insidious (longterm inconsistent and confusing parenting styles linked to DA) and that it’s only part of “a complex web of environmental, societal, familial, and genetic factors that are all likely to interact in ways that we have only begun to understand.” This is something I firmly believe in and attribute to a lot of the endogenic claims of having no trauma (and under this theory, “overwhelming events” also constitute trauma). 

Interestingly, it’s theorized that different types of attachment are linked to different mental disorders. “Attachment insecurity can therefore be viewed as a general vulnerability to mental disorders, with the particular symptomatology depending on genetic, developmental, and environmental factors.” Going back to the 4 types of attachment, the 3 insecure types can be linked to basically all types of disorders. They are all linked to depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, eating disorders and suicidal tendencies, but those with anxious attachment are more likely to develop things like DPD, HPD and BPD and are drawn to co-dependent relationships. Those with avoidant attachment are more likely to develop things like SPD and APD and form addictive habits, and those with disorganized attachment are more likely to develop DID/OSDD. 

Sources:

Identifying Attachment Problems

How Disorganized Attachment Can Lead to Dissociation

Disorganized Attachment

Disorganized Attachment, Development of Dissociated Self States, and a Relational Approach to Treatment

Trauma, Dissociation, and Disorganized Attachment: Three Strands of a Single Braid

From Infant Attachment Disorganization to Adult Dissociation: Relational Adaptations or Traumatic Experiences?

An attachment perspective on psychopathology

Fragmented Child: Disorganized Attachment and Dissociation

Hi everyone,

I thought I would share this interesting comparison chart between Autistic traits vs Autistic trauma. I found this pretty informal, so I hope some of you do too.

Autism Traits

Autism Trauma

there's something in the woods

Plurality Resources (incomplete)

► Basic Terminology and 101 Topics: The Plural Dictionary Google Doc The Plural Association website Plural FAQ from The Plural Association Pluralpedia More Than One website - basics and causes Whispering Flowers website - firsthand experiences General alterhuman resources Plurality categories on the LGBTA Wiki headmatesfaq on Tumblr - check the side bar for links on desktop headmatesfaq basic FAQ headmatesfaq glossary of terms The origin of “endogenic” and “traumagenic” as terms

► Plurality Origins: Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) basics Endogenic Systems Carrd - basics and terms Fictives - Multiplicity and Plurality Wiki Introjects - Mulitplicity and Plurality Wiki r/Tulpas - Reddit community Creating a tulpa A Partial History of Plural Self-Advocacy Dissociative disorders in general

► Apps and other things for organization: Simply Plural app The Plural Spectrum Tool - not an app

► Please click here for all plurality resources compiled on this blog.

Please feel free to contact me to add new resource links to this post or correct any misinformation. This post will be updated with far more information as I find it. If any of these links are from sources that are against non-traumagenic systems or non-disordered systems, contact me to have the link(s) removed. Keep in mind that I can only speak from my own experience as an OSDD-1 system with no existing tulpas or fictives. ⚡

Why maladaptive daydreaming (MaDD) should be classified a dissociative disorder

Contents:

Maladaptive daydreaming summary

Dissociative disorders summary

Diagnostic criteria

Conclusion

(~1100 words)

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