i feel like playing kon-el-themed eleven truths and a lie again!!!
The bats need a scandal to distract Vicki
So ofc Tim takes Anita's parents to bring-your-kid-to-work-day
All would be well, if the Bats didn't think he was the father as well.
Bonus: "uncle Timmy?" Tim stares down at the child pulling on his trouser leg, "Yeah?"
The girl pointed towards the wafting smoke from Vicki's car, before waving a stolen box of matches. "Whoops."
i think the best and most accurate writing decision ever made for tim was having him imagine cass being batman in the future
Test Compilation of my writing submissions for the Mecha AU started by @keferon.
Friends in Every Universe
Part 1
Part 2
Part 1.5
Part 3
Part 4
I had a Batman AU thought that I wanted to share involving eldritch?sentient!Gotham. Gotham is alive, old and deeply rooted magic of ??? origin (that doesn't appreciate being poked and prodded so attempts to discern what she is have ended badly), and she is... mercurial, to put it diplomatically. She can favor or sabotage people on a sliding scale of intensity - basically good or bad luck on the lower side of the scale (finding a $20 bill vs stepping in a gross puddle kinda thing), and on the higher side it's things like a bullet missing when it shouldn't or a piece of building falling onto someone. She also has boons, things she grants certain people - primarily Bats, but there are a few Rogues that have their own boons because again, mercurial. Boons bind someone to Gotham, make them always find their way back and eventually need to come back, but if you're close enough to Gotham for her to offer a boon, it's probably your home.
Batman is her... warlock? Paladin? He's pledged his life to protect Gotham and is in tune with her, and he protects the city and keeps it in balance, and she grants him her favor constantly and has given him a powerful boon (able to hide in whatever shadows there are, even slight ones, and virtually disappear in them even if you're watching him). When he takes Dick in and Dick creates the Robin mantle, Gotham loves it, and Dick gets his own boon (able to land where he intends to, can't be killed/seriously hurt from a fall).
Jason though is her absolute favorite son, her pride and joy. He's born of Gotham, steeped in the city, of it and for it, and he loves Gotham and when he becomes Robin he fights to make her better and bring light to her. She gives him the boon that he knows every part of the city instinctively. He can move through it easily, knows the streets and buildings by heart, knows on some level what's happening in different places (not always exact, usually gut feelings), and he can always hide in it when he chooses.
Then he dies. (Away from Gotham, because if he'd been in Gotham she never would have let it happen.) Gotham and Batman are a wreck together, they're angry and grieving and losing it, everything is coming apart and it's Bad. (The Joker had a boon from Gotham, because he's also of Gotham, and she's not good or evil but simply is. However when he killed HER favorite son, she tore the boon and her favor from him and wrecked what was left of his mind. He still feels chained to Gotham and Batman, but this is no longer a city that loves him.)
This is when Tim pushes to become Robin, and both Gotham and Batman hate it. They both want to lose themselves in the rage and grief, but Tim won't let them. Batman/Bruce comes around first, but Gotham is still seething, and she sabotages Tim at every turn: things that should hold his weight break or creak loudly, shadows never seem to hide him, evidence gets lost or trails go cold when he tries to follow them, buildings constantly crumble around him, goons always seem to get hits on him that he should be able to dodge or avoid, he gets pitched into the harbor CONSTANTLY.
It gets to a point that Bruce is seriously considering firing Tim purely because it's notably more dangerous for him as Robin than it ever was for Dick and Jason (even though he and Dick both try to convince Gotham to calm down and lay off). Tim eventually tracks down the best place to communicate with Gotham directly (much as she tries to deter him) and they get into a fight (reminiscent of Tim getting into fights with Bruce to make him get his shit together).
Tim argues that if he hadn't stepped in, Bruce would have either gotten himself killed or crossed a line he couldn't come back from, and it would have destroyed him AND the hope left in Gotham. He would have been considered a criminal and likely would have become a Rogue, with no 'Batman' to step up and stop him. He argues that Batman needs a Robin to fight for and protect, and without one he'll backslide and get worse again, and if that happens, Gotham will be torn to shreds. Tim points out that Jason loved Gotham and fought for her, and it's disrespectful of his love and his memory to let everything fall to pieces after he fought so hard for her.
It's enough to convince Gotham to back off on her sabotage, though she's still hurt and sulking. Bruce still isn't sure about Tim not having Gotham's favor, much less a boon of his own, but Tim argues that he'll get good enough to keep up with or without Gotham's help - which he does.
Over time though, Gotham watches Tim fight to protect Gotham and Batman, and she admits she was wrong in how she treated him. She slowly starts to extend her favor to him and eventually approaches him and offers him a boon. Tim, however, turns her down. He's seen how badly Jason's loss and Gotham's grief and anger affected those closely connected to her, and he knows taking the boon will tie him to Gotham permanently. He believes those connected to Gotham and Gotham herself need someone who can be more objective and keep a level head, and he's secretly kind of worried that if something happens again, if Bruce and the Bats eventually tire of him and don't need him, he'll be trapped in Gotham. He also just doesn't totally trust Gotham even though he loves her.
Gotham's hurt, obviously, but she understands and doesn't lash out, recognizing it's her own fault. She does give him her favor though and swears to never rescind it, even when she's upset with him. Tim's gotten this far without her favor or a boon, but it's nice not to have to worry about getting dunked in the harbor for the third time in one week anymore (though she hasn't done that in a year or so).
Then Jason returns, and Gotham is having THE BEST time. Her baby boy! Is back! He's bigger now, and he's a lot angrier and hurt in a lot of ways, but he's! Back! She's a little worried about how angry he is at Batman and the other Bats, but Jason is her favorite and she can't turn him away or deny him. She still favors him, she just... makes sure she favors the Bats enough too to keep them all on an even playing field. They'll work it out. Tim managed to get her to calm down, so she's confident her current Robin will help the family again.
Then Jason goes to the Titan Tower after Tim, and initially she assumes they'll talk and things will be better, but when Jason comes back she sees that he went and ATTACKED Tim.
It's the first time she's ever been angry at Jason, and she drops a brick on his head (while he's wearing his helmet, he's still her favorite), and she threatens to collapse the ceiling of his apartment. They get into a fight. Jason came away from his fight with Tim thinking Tim was impressive as Robin, but he doesn't want him in the suit so he still went through with beating him unconscious. He DID notice Tim doesn't have Gotham's boon, so he doesn't understand why she's so upset he roughed the kid up.
Gotham is pissed and a pissed Gotham is hard to communicate with outside of raw emotion, so eventually after suffering several indignities of light sabotage, getting caught yelling at the street or a building while the manhole cover or windows rattle angrily, Jason goes to find Tim and ask "hey what the FUCK" (haven't fully figured how this changes Jason's interactions with the rest of the Bats, but he is begrudgingly impressed that Tim made it through the start of his tenure with Gotham actively sabotaging him, then argued an eldritch city into behaving, then turned down her boon and STILL came out of it with her undying favor).
(Gotham, in this AU, is NOT a fan of the al Ghuls at all. Primarily Ra's, at first, because he wants to purify Gotham/control her, and she is NOT a fan of that thanks. He's tried attacking her (destroying parts of the city), threatening her, trying to determine the origin of her magic, enslave her, trying to bargain with her, seducing her, and she is having NONE OF IT. Going into Gotham is a nightmare for anyone with the League, because while it can be difficult for her to get a hold of them, once she does she sabotages the HELL out of them. Getting cut on rusted rebar, falling off ledges, sinkholes opening up under them, one of them managed to get bitten by a rat and catch the bubonic plague. Ra's has, on one memorable occasion, been knocked into an open manhole and then almost drowned in sewer water that carried him out into the harbor where something (possibly Croc) tried to eat him, and he broke his arm while climbing out.
Talia got a reluctant pass since she seemed more interested in Bruce than Gotham and Bruce reciprocated, but Gotham doesn't appreciate Talia's attempts to lure Bruce OUT of Gotham. When she finds out Talia kept Jason away? AND convinced him to go after Tim? Talia is on the permanent shit list too.
When Gotham finds out about DAMIAN, Talia can't set foot in Gotham without having SEVERAL chunks of building being dropped on her from above.
Though when Damian DOES show up, Gotham is quick to claim him and offer him a boon. He's the son of Batman, he's a future Robin, and if he's given a boon, he's tied to Gotham and can't easily return to the League (mostly Talia and Ra's). Win win!
Except then he attacks Tim, and learns VERY swiftly that it's not good to piss off the sentient eldritch city you accepted a boon from. He's laid up with a migraine and all kinds of awful symptoms of an illness (nothing fatal but definitely awful) until Tim recovers, and then Tim gets to play mediator between the Bats and Gotham AGAIN as he tries to explain to Damian the nuances of Gotham as an entity and what being one of her favored/booned actually means, AND lecturing Gotham about sabotaging another Robin/giving him a boon without making sure he understood what he was accepting.)
HI 👋 Fabulous AU you've got here.
I particularly enjoy how complicated Tim's relationship with Gotham is. In fact, Tim's later years could be misunderstood by the Bats as Tim being her favorite (hear me out).
If Gotham never states who her favorite is, all the Bats see is that Tim, despite not having a boon, has Gotham on his side against the other Bats (really, Tim just isn't attacking/harming the others like they are to him, but it's about perspective).
It's also kind of heartbreaking that Tim has an additional condition that sets him apart from the Bats. He's the only one to be immediately hated by Gotham. He doesn't have a boon (though later that's a choice). He is consistently reaching out to Gotham to actually communicate and fix their issues.
Might I add an additional part for extra angst? We'll take the fanon idea of Tim stalking his heroes from a young age.
Gotham sees that another being idolizes her paladins and grants him the small boon of his camera never making a sound, being unnoticeable, and the flash never being visible unless Tim wants it to. Tim is okay with being stuck in Gotham due to his parents never taking him abroad with them
After Tim forces his way into Robin, though, Gotham rips this away from him, destroys any need for him to stay (she wants him to leave her alone to her own rumination), and actively sabatoges him.
Because it was taken from him once, because he's felt the pain of that loss, because the sudden emptiness was a gaping hole he had to spend years coping with, he never wants a boon again. He doesn't know if he'll be able to handle the sudden deprivation once more.
This is the start of him not trusting that anything lasts (especially since a retracted boon was so rare it's only been rumored in the past [since Gotham doesn't care for "good" or "evil" it's harder to get on her bad side]).
I'm curious what all of the boons alloted to each person are (very curious if/what Commissioner Gordon's)
Hi, there's a really good chance I'm imagining things, but isn't there a name/term for when we latch onto "cute"/marketable endangered species and that gives incentive to protect their habitat as well? Like when keeping one animal alive allows for the argument to be made to keep a different "uglier" animal alive, or put resources into protecting a plant species? I could swear there's a name for this but I can't find anything so I could also just be mixing it up with something
The term you're looking for is "Charismatic Megafauna" or and it works in two directions:
People are more likely to identify with a large mammal than say, an ecologically vital insect or slime mold, especially if it's something regarded as "cute" like Pandas or Orcas or Elephants. People give more of a shit about the enviornment and do what you ask if they give a shit about the animal in question.
Picking a Keystone Species at the Very Tippy Top of the food chain (Apex predators like Tigers and Orca), or that needs VAST amounts of space kept pristine (Pandas, Elephants) means that you also have to preserve THE ENTIRE FUCKING FOOD CHAIN UNDERNEATH IT, and by extension, the habitat all them critters live in. So signing a law to protect Penguins protects not just their land nesting sites but the ocean they hunt in and the fish they eat and this protects vastly more species than protecting The-Actually-Load-Bearing-Deep-Sea-Sponges would.
So if you were ever wondering "How come there's all these fundraisers for cute things like giraffes and gorillas? Where's the love for the ugly little guys like freshwater clams and earthworms?" the answer is "RIGHT BEHIND the big sexy poster animal. We sneak them in like hiding your dog's pills in cheese."
Gonna go ahead and lay down a large chunk of the first chapter of the fic that I'll be posting for this year's TentaTodd week because I'm excited as hell about it and have like zero patience lol
Summary: Tim finds what he thinks is porn with an emphasis on speculative biology in Jason's apartment, but it turns out the only speculative part is Jason's speculation about whether or not Tim will want to actually for realsies mate with him.
(It's very much playing off of my analysis of Brothers In Blood, which may explain a lot)
(Also if you saw the several sentances sunday thing: this is an extended and much more explicit version of that!)
Normally Tim would pretend to know better than to go snooping through Jason's stuff, especially when a storm had forced him to crash at one of his safehouses unannounced, but c'mon, these are only the bookshelves! What did Jason have them for if not to display the books?? Perfectly reasonable to take a look through the different spines, pull a few out enough to see the covers, maybe actually read one. After all there was no reason to suspect there'd be anything to hide such as-
B'traxia's Hive King Mating Guide for the Recently Transformed!
The cover features a lavish illustration of an alien with a roughly 'centaur' configuration of limbs. It's got a set of massive spikes for front legs that look great for digging and cleaving people in two, and a pair of cat like, pawed, digidigrade back legs. The spine and joints are armor plated, while the soft belly is lined with octopus arms of wildly varying sizes.
The alien is also proudly presenting his three MASSIVE PHALLUSES for the audience.
Tim sputters and laughs, opening the book up and flipping through it lazily.
The quality is ridiculously good overall. It's hand bound, full color, lavishly illustrated with diagrams and charts and cultural notes and- it's honestly hilariously Jason in nature now that he thinks about it. Like, of course, Jason with his snobby love of all things hand crafted would masturbate to some niche fetish shit in a weird format full of way too much worldbuilding. It's probably bespoke too; Tim would lay good money that Jason commissioned the artist himself.
Tim flips back to the first page and starts reading.
Congratulations on your successful chrysalis hatching, my new brethren! Whether you got here by choice or circumstance, this guide is designed to help you understand the most important topic for your new biology and psychology: sex! For most species, sex is merely one activity among many. Most adults spend most of their time on other things, such as making objects or completing economic tasks. The internal impulses of such adults account for a wide variety of needs. Hunger, thirst, tiredness, these are all different sensations because the adult is expected to do different things in order to sate them. This is not so for Hive Kings like us! The primary way a Hive King interacts with the world is through his hive beast workers. His biology does not expect him to labor or travel or do anything other than have sex with his brooders, impregnating them with the hundreds of workers who serve him! When a Hive King's blood sugar levels lower, he does not feel anything. Instead it is his workers which feel a desire to feed him. What happens then, when the Hive King does not have enough workers to keep himself fed? He starts craving sex! Breeding makes more workers and workers are how the Hive King eats! Nearly all desires and cravings are sublimated in this way. Either they are passed to the workers who then fulfill the Hive King's wishes adequately, or they go unsated and are converted into potent breeding lust. Thus sexual desire becomes the primary lens through which the Hive King experiences his own needs and wants. This is especially important information for Hive Kings who choose to remain alone or in very small hives. If you want to go this route, I recommend you carefully track and record your own sexual cravings to ensure that you're getting your needs met. Specific kinks may be signs of specific needs. For instance, Kyalgn from Sector 17 reports that thirst often manifests as desires to swallow his partners whole or have them urinate in his mouth. Note that all of the above merely adds to the already elevated sexual drive of Hive Kings. The deep craving for constant, fertile breeding sex is usually the first instinctual effect of the transformation that a Hive King notices.
Tim is... honestly getting into it a bit. He's got one hell of a thing for breeding, so sue him, and while he's not so much into being the alien, he's enjoying the thought of someone truly insatiable trying to knock him up over and over again despite not being the same species.
It is a bit too wordy for his tastes though. Tim skips passed a frankly obscene amount of detailed anatomical and biochemical analysis in order to get to the good stuff already.
The Hive King first wraps the brooder's body in his tentacles and engages in foreplay. If he can coax at least one orgasm out of the Brooder before the breeding process begins, that is ideal. Happy, relaxed, pleasured Brooders are safer Brooders who bear healthier children. Then the Hive King will carefully fill up the Brooder's cunt with his ovipositor, thrusting shallowly until he reaches the cervix. His dilating hooks will then latch on to the cervix, injecting the brooder with aphrodisic-anesthetic-hypermobilitic chemicals, and begin stretching the Brooder open so that they can receive his eggs. Upon achieving enough dilation for his eggs to fit safely, the ovipositor will thrust a few inches deeper and the Hive King will experience ovipositional orgasm as his body pumps his eggs into his mate's womb. Depending on the size of the eggs and the size of his Brooder mate, this process can take anywhere from thirty minutes to two hours and the orgasm will last until the last egg is inside and his ovipositor unhooks from their cervix. Once all the eggs are safely inside, it's important to move on to the second phase of sex as soon as possible. Remember: the longer the eggs spend unfertilized, the more risky the pregnancy becomes. Next, using his cocks, the Hive King must thrust into his mate's pussy again with both penises, ideally reaching passed the cervix and hitting the back of the womb with each thrust. Every time he orgasms this way he will spill roughly two gallons of cum into his mate. As the sex continues nearly all of this will spill out, but don't worry: this is desirable. The flow of perfluorocarbon seminal fluid must be continuous, as it provides vital nutrients and oxygen to the developing embryos. Do not allow yourself more than 43 minutes rest in between one orgasm ending and beginning to work yourself up for the next orgasm. Ideally, you should simply not stop thrusting for the entirety of the roughly 78 hour pregnancy.
It's completely absurd. More than three days of non-stop pregnant sex while high as a kite on alien aphrodisiac venom.
Gods what he wouldn't give for it to be real.
Tim unbuttons his pants, widening his stance and slipping a hand over his underwear, lightly rubbing the head of his clit through the fabric.
"And just what the fuck do you think you're reading?"
It takes every second worth of Tim's years of training not to startle out of his skin at the sound of Jason's voice.
"Really hot porn." He replies coolly.
Jason's still got his mask on and his hood up but it's clear to see he's taken aback (as was the intent).
"Really?"
"What? You think I don't have kinks?"
His head tilts, his lenses narrowing.
"...Guess you are exactly the right kinda tight laced to be into some freak shit."
"Rude. True, mind you, and pretty fucking hypocritical, but still rude."
Jason hmms acknowledgment of his hypocrisy. His gaze drops from Tim's face to the book and finally down to the hand still in his pants. It is so very hard to read any sort of expression through the masks, but Tim feels like he's got a damn solid bet as to what Jason's feeling right now.
He rolls the dice and starts stroking his clit again, deliberately making it obvious.
Jason's breathing gets heavier, his adam's apple bobs as he swallows thickly, his shoulders go tense - all good signs. Then his hips rock in sympathy with one of Tim's strokes and he knows without a shadow of a doubt that Jason is into this.
Tim grins.
There's something deeply gratifying in getting caught and then shamelessly continuing to pleasure himself. It makes him feel depraved - sinfully self indulgent in the best kind of way.
"So you like imagining yourself as a big scary monster who lives to fuck his eggs into people, huh? Got jealous of the xenomorphs while watching Aliens?"
"Yup. Clearly I don't have to explain the appeal to you."
"Actually, I think you do. I'm only interested in being the one getting bred; I don't honestly get the deal about being the one doing the topping."
Jason grips and leans against the bookshelf, clearly aiming for casual and missing by about a million miles to land firmly in 'seems like he's so horny he might faint' territory.
"Oh, cool. Coolcoolcool- uh, what if I get a towel and get you comfortable on the couch and we compare notes?"
Tim just barely holds himself back from laughing and says, "Sounds great!"
I love just the idea of the autobots and deceptions coming to earth to try recruiting the sentient jaegers, but being harshly declined. Why? Well for one they're already busy dealing with large monsters on a regular basis and two they love their humans too much. With plenty of evil robot related movies fueling paranoia among engineers they hardcoded into the jaegers that they want to protect humans.
So they are pretty reasonably pissed at the bots for dragging their people into their war. Anyways they force the autobots and decepticons to make up. (All this because of a messy breakup? Jeez and you call humans violent.)
So now with the Cybertronians new free time the yeagers will reach them the joys of human beings.
sleeper body tim is something i think about often. like visually he looks like he has the skeletal structure of a cooked noodle but in reality he’s super strong. for example:
jason: shit the door is locked. move i’ll shoot the lock
tim: no don’t waste a bullet, i got this
jason: wtf are you gonna—
tim: *kicks door down*
jason: *horrified*
OR him taking his blazer off at a gala and people being able to see the muscles in his arms through his shirt when he moves. the morning after the gala there are articles like:
Billionaire Bruce Wayne’s adopted son and CEO of WE Timothy Drake-Wayne is secretly buff?
Also imagine him beating everyone in arm wrestling because he just takes them by surprise.