Thankyouuuuu 🩷🩷🫂🫂

Ghalib.

19.12.2024, Thursday

My physical education theory exam went super well , I mean i guess it's supposed to be easy but I'm extremely satisfied and happy about it 🩷

but now...the next exam...is physics

I fkn have beef with Newton

so I gotta lock in

I have been doing "study vc" with my friends and it's helping a lot , just knowing that someone is also up all night with me is so reassuring :))

here's all I have to revise before I sleep -

electrostatic

current electricity

moving charges

magnetism

electromagnetic induction

alternating current

emi waves

ray optics

wave optics

i know it's a lot but i have to do it if I want to have time to revise the derivations :")

pray for me y'all!!!!!! 🦊🦊

30.12.2024 // free dayy

I went to the mall with my bestfriend yesterday, it was soo fun we even went to the book store in there :))

I picked up Matthew Perry's autobiography - Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing

and I was flushed with a wave of nostalgia, sadness and overwhelming love for that man.

Even though I was born three years after friends ended , I still grew up on it and chandler was the one I related to the most ,Infact he was my friend's favourite character and we would talk about chandler a lot or repeat his jokes and that made him even more special to me.

It really feels like we are reading his personal diary as it takes us through his life. There are several pictures in there as well and one of them is of him as a teenager surrounded with a bunch of kids and the caption is -

"I have always been great with kids. Man,I wish I had one of my own"

this just..stayed with me and I think it will stay with me for a while, I miss him. I hope he's in a better place. <3

Beach Prints

I see beautiful tragedies of life in the footprints prints on the beach , do you?

i sat down on the sea shore

as a visitor

only to find myself in an ocean of footprints

A sign of visitors

that walk over

pass by the beach

i looked down on my body

only to find myself drowned in those footprints

a sign of visitors

that once walked with me

now pass by me

these scars are just footprints then.

what do I think of them?

which ones i treasure

which ones i mourn

whatever I think of them,

they will remain on me , as a sign.

a sign of visitors

and just like that,

i found the proof of

every tear

every laughter

every time I felt sick of someone

every time I felt homesick for someone

i saw the tides gently wipe away some of these footprints while leaving the most

only to make space for more visitors to come

the visitors leave , their footprints stay

until another visitor walks over them

to create a new trail of these prints

they don't reach far beneath surface

but they are the decorations of sand

what do they teach me?

something beautiful

something tragic

i see the beautiful tragedies of life in the footprints on beach , do you?

[read the previous poems for context ly]

Letters from Juliet (IV)

I woke up today and realised

that it isn't about your name not being there on my lips

it's not about the roses not smelling like you

or the coffee not reminding me of us

or me not being afraid of thunder anymore

It's the fact that I wish it wasn't this way

I , deeply, desperately, delusionally wish for -

my lips to be stained by your name

not just roses but every single flower to remind me of you

me to be scared of every thunderstorm

and that is because

a part of me

a stupid godamn part of me

wishes that you'll be there to comfort me

maybe I'm still holding onto that part of me

a poet Ahmad Faraz once said

"ranjish hī sahī dil hī dukhāne ke liye aa

aa phir se mujhe chhoḌ ke jaane ke liye aa"

Just the thought of you coming back generates more happiness than the inherent pain of you walking away

which you will

you always do

with so much ease

it makes me question humanity

Maybe you didn't like me

but just for humanity,

I expected you to turn around

but you didn't

Or maybe you did and I didn't catch you

(Even though I haven't looked away since the first time I saw you)

how is it so easy for you?

how is it so hard for me?

did you ever have tears in your eyes for me?

No

No you didn't

I did

Way too many times

I have them in my eyes right now

I don't know why I have them

Maybe I am sad that you have left

maybe I am sad that I didn't leave with you

Maybe I am sad that you left with someone else

Maybe I am worried that this "someone" won't love you as much as I did

Maybe I am worried that this "someone" does love you as much as I did

Maybe I am angry that I made a fool of myself

That I wasted my time on you

maybe that's all you were

a waste of time and energy

maybe that's how I want to remember it

But the stupid part of me won't let that happen

I want to remember you as my first love

As the first person I shared a part of myself with

The first person who made me feel stupid

The person who made me a hopeless romantic

And then left me hopelessly

and now I want to turn into you

I want to pretend to care

I want to pretend to like someone

I don't want to be a hopeless romantic anymore

So that just the way I fixed you

Someone fixes me

I am sure many people want to

Many people are stupid like me

Yk the worst thing about habits?

they take 21 days to form

But won't even go away in 21 years

(I can't confirm it I'm still 16)

"Marne ke baad bhi meri aankhen khuli rhi

Aadat pari thi inhe intezaar ki"

~habits

maybe it's not even the "habit"

maybe it's just the aftertaste of it

maybe the aftertaste is like a scar

which heals over time but still leaves an imprint

"i looked down on my body

only to find myself drowned in those footprints

a sign of visitors"

I have to come to terms with it

That I am here and will always be

But you have walked away

far away

I have to let these scars heal

I have to

I can't let them stay open

they'll catch an infection

maybe I want them to

because that stupid part of me

hopelessly hopes that'll you'll come to treat it

that you'll kiss it better

you won't

someone will

someone will walk in to treat all the wounds they didn't create

someone will walk in to heal something they didn't break

"i saw the tides gently wipe away some of these footprints while leaving the most

only to make space for more visitors to come

the visitors leave , their footprints stay

until another visitor walks over them"

I'm the sweetest girl in town so why are you so mean?

[please read the previous poems for context ly]

Letters from juliet (IV)

I woke up today and realised

that it isn't about your name not being there on my lips

it's not about the roses not smelling like you

or the coffee not reminding me of us

or me not being afraid of thunder anymore

It's the fact that I wish it wasn't this way

I , deeply, desperately, delusionally wish for -

my lips to be stained by your name

not just roses but every single flower to remind me of you

me to be scared of every thunderstorm

and that is because

a part of me

a stupid godamn part of me

wishes that you'll be there to comfort me

maybe I'm still holding onto that part of me

a poet Ahmad Faraz once said

"ranjish hī sahī dil hī dukhāne ke liye aa

aa phir se mujhe chhoḌ ke jaane ke liye aa"

Just the thought of you coming back generates more happiness than the inherent pain of you walking away

which you will

you always do

with so much ease

it makes me question humanity

Maybe you didn't like me

but just for humanity,

I expected you to turn around

but you didn't

Or maybe you did and I didn't catch you

(Even though I haven't looked away since the first time I saw you)

how is it so easy for you?

how is it so hard for me?

did you ever have tears in your eyes for me?

No

No you didn't

I did

Way too many times

I am drowing in them right now

I don't know why I have them

Maybe I am sad that you have left

maybe I am sad that I didn't leave with you

Maybe I am sad that you left with someone else

Maybe I am worried that this "someone" won't love you as much as I did

Maybe I am worried that this "someone" does love you as much as I did

Maybe I am angry that I made a fool of myself

That I wasted my time on you

maybe that's all you were

a waste of time and energy

maybe that's how I want to remember it

But the stupid part of me won't let that happen

I want to remember you as my first love

As the first person I shared a part of myself with

The first person who made me feel stupid

The person who made me a hopeless romantic

And then left me hopelessly

and now I want to turn into you

I want to pretend to care

I want to pretend to like someone

I don't want to be a hopeless romantic anymore

So that just the way I fixed you

Someone fixes me

I am sure many people want to

Many people are stupid like me

Yk the worst thing about habits?

they take 21 days to form

But won't even go away in 21 years

(I can't confirm it I'm still 16)

"Marne ke baad bhi meri aankhen khuli rhi

Aadat pari thi inhe intezaar ki"

~habits

maybe it's not even the "habit"

maybe it's just the aftertaste of it

maybe the aftertaste is like a scar

which heals over time but still leaves an imprint

"i looked down on my body

only to find myself drowned in those footprints

a sign of visitors"

I have to come to terms with it

That I am here and will always be

But you have walked away

far away

I have to let these scars heal

I have to

I can't let them stay open

they'll catch an infection

maybe I want them to

because that stupid part of me

hopelessly hopes that'll you'll come to treat it

that you'll kiss it better

you won't

someone will

someone will walk in to treat all the wounds they didn't create

someone will walk in to heal something they didn't break

"i saw the tides gently wipe away some of these footprints while leaving the most

only to make space for more visitors to come

the visitors leave , their footprints stay

until another visitor walks over them"

real.

gems panda walked so that kinder joy harry potter could run

20.12.24 , Friday

I have my physics exam (pre boards) tomorrow and...

I still have so much of my syllabus left to revise it's like not even funny anymore 🐌

I'm just gonna try my best and do as much as I can with all the time that's left

some exams are testing you as a person more than they are testing you on the subject

I think this is one of them...whew

stuff I'll try to finish up before exams

wave optics - ncert questions

electrostatics complete ncert

current electricity ncert

revise the derivations

(ray optics, current electricity, electrostatics)

try to do as many ray optics questions as possible

watch the nuclei video if time's left

Please wish me luck y'all (keep me in your prayers)!!! 🩷🩷