Parkeryourefired

Don't be a racist

The nature of the Cloak of Invisibility

Step 1) Don't be an opinionated asshole. Step 2) Don't assert yourself into other people's lives, conversations, etc. Congratulations! You have donned your Cloak of Invisibility! You may now go about your life doing good things and being a pleasant person, and no one will ever remember you.

I'm rewriting If You're Happy and You Know It

The new version goes: If you're old and you know it, groan loudly whenever you move. (Repeat) If you're old and you know it, then your joints are frozen and creaky, and you should probably get a walker. (Repeat chorus thing) I'm not a musician, but I think it could compete with the best of them. I'm tapping into the forgotten old people demographic.

As I drove into work mostly still asleep, I had a sudden, horrifying sensation I left my light saber at home. The awake half of my brain took a minute to process how ridiculous the notion was I: Have a real light saber; would need said light saber for work. Sleeping only two-three hours a night is not a good way to live.

Has this ever happened to anyone else?

Has anyone ever come across a... uh... compromising video of some friends? They eventually got married, but the video is from before that. Has that ever happened to anyone else? It's kind of a weird situation.

Why can't my sleep problems lead to this?

How I want to deal with most people.

UHF . ‘89 . IMDb

Person: I hate you!

*Me thinking* : Okay, but never as much as I hate myself.