Marcus: I Could Kill You If I Wanted.

*tips hat* m’laria

Ford: You know that according to Schrödinger, anything you put in a box is both dead AND alive?

Everyone else at the funeral: *nervously stares at coffin*

Peter: I’ve always been a little anxious

Peter: And then I died

Peter: That did not calm me down

The minors should get a solitude arc when the mansion is done. Hear me out.

I want the bench trio to get an arc where they focus on each other. They keep to themselves in the Snowchester mansion, only going out to grind, get food, go monster hunting or work on other projects/ builds. They remove themselves from everything and anything going on on the server, focusing on protecting their little family.

They get told Revivebur is planning to get Dream out of prison. They nod and go about their days, silently processing this information.

The people of the sever don't see the days spent in the blistering Nether, finding and conquering strongholds.

They don't see sleepless nights full of whispered promises of safety or the afternoons spent in the cool mines grinding for materials.

They don't nights spent hunched over brewing stands, hushed conversations and the background sounds of the night the only things keeping them company.

What they do see is a stockpile of weapons, armor and potions appearing and growing at an alarming rate over just a few days.

What they see is the tightness in their jaws, the sharpness in their replies, the light and careful way they hold themselves, like they're ready to sprint away soundlessly at the first sight of danger.

They're preparing. Not for war. Never again for war. They're preparing to defend themselves, but as kids raised in war they've learnt it's better to be too careful than risk being under-prepared.

Nothing comes out of Alivebur's promises and thinly-veiled threats, but they make sure to top off their pile every now and then. Just to be safe. 

The three of them talk to those who actively seek out their company, never going to talk to others unless necessary. They make sure anybody who tries to hurt their little family, is shown just how vicious they can be. Just how much they can live up to the legacies that have been set before them.

Then one day Purpled stumbles into their house, injured and teary-eyed, shaking from fear and begging for shelter. Las Nevadas wasn't treating him well, Quackity took his manipulation and gaslighting to an extreme. He couldn't take it anymore, so he grabbed some steak, plus whatever he had on him and ran under the cover of nightfall. He didn't have armor, so the mobs got to him.

Tommy forgot Purpled was like them.

Ranboo forgot he was also a kid, shoved into several situations he shouldn't be in.

Tubbo forgot Quackity was manipulative.

Ranboo is left to deal with his wounds and try to comfort him the best he could he had a lot of experience, after the nights Tommy and Tubbo's would wake up screaming and crying.

Tommy and Tubbo try to figure out what to do, out of Purpled's earshot. They'd been hurt so many times before, so they're wary of anyone and everyone new. Trusting people had never helped the three of them before. What if he just wants to gain their trust to break them? It wouldn't be the first time.

But they also saw the way he apologized for the slightest things, and flinched at the slightest noise. They saw his eyes darting towards the doors and windows, afraid for something he couldn't fathom.

They saw the telltale signs of manipulation and abuse, the same signs they all showed, and knew they couldn't just leave him there. They had to be what no one ever was for them, and what they now are for each other. Family.

None of them are quite sure when or how it happened. Purpled became part of their little group. His sharp mouth, intelligence and skill in battle fit in well with them, like he filled a spot they didn't even know they were missing.

Purpled became an official resident of Snowchester, and officially under their protection.

Quackity didn't bother them, because if there was one thing he knew about them, it was that they would die and kill for their own. Purpled is now one of their own, and hell would be raised on him if he touched them.

I call this their Technoblade arc.

@icantthinkofacreativeurl

Tsu: *Kero*

dekusquad responding to being stabbed by a knife

Iida: that is completely unorthodox and i must report you for this.

Todoroki: that’s fair.

Uraraka: do you know how much i could get for this, why would you just throw it.

Deku: *muttering and furiously taking notes on their technique*

Villain!Bench Trio

TNT!Init

Tub!bee

Casino!boo

If you use fiction to escape clap your hands

👏👏

If you use fiction to escape clap your hands

👏👏

If you use fiction to escape from something that you hate

If you use fiction to escape clap your hands

👏👏

[Court hearing]

Judge: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

Stan: No.

Judge:

Jury:

Judge, whispering: What now?

Game Show Host: Name a yellow fruit.

Donald: Orange.

Host:

Leo: What.

Donald: I panicked…

Bree: YOU HAVE THREE PHDS WHAT THE HELL???

Leo: [hands him the swear jar]

Douglas, slowly spinning around in a chair: I’ve been expecting you…

Chair: [continues to spin]

Douglas: Wait, no-

Chair: [spins even faster]

Douglas: shitSHITSHI-

Douglas: [tries to stop spinning, grabs his desk, and falls out of the chair]