Yep There They Are, Defenders Of The Universe Alright

obsessed with the fact that everyone in las nevadas is non-human.

like, you go to this new country to escape the gloom of the main server area. you go to a casino and boom the ceo has golden wings. you thought the only person on this server with wings was philza, but whatever, sure, quackity has wings too now i guess.

you go to the bar to order a drink. boom the bartender is a ghost. and on top of that he's a ram ghost. the only dead ram in this server is former president jschlatt. slightly worrying, but whatever, you don't question it.

as you go to play on a slot machine, quackity stops you. "not that one," he says, "slimecicle likes to stay in that one." there is a slime in the slot machine. okay. that's fine. that's cool.

you turn around. there is an alien kid wearing heelies giving people drinks. that's fine. normal.

you pass by a window. you catch a glance at the 23 foot tall totem god, casually doing building repairs. okay. okay.

you pass by a broom closet. you hear sniffles from the inside. you open the door. there is a fox having a meltdown inside. you're pretty sure that fox is wilbur soot's son. okay. nice. you shut the door.

you go back. you're pretty sure you just saw the warden get up on a stripper pole.

you go home.

a shazam and robin book called the 'batsons'. dc where's my paycheck

God I swear I already wrote this hc once upon a time but I can’t find it for the life of me so!

Billy Batson, young and homeless, is looking to make some extra cash to survive starts working at Whiz radio station. He gets bounced around doing various odd jobs but gets roped into taking over the nightly superhero hour when everyone else comes down sick. Bill doesn’t quite know what to do, he’s not great with words and hasn’t been to school in years. So he just starts talking from the heart. 

Billy talks about heroes, not just as paragons and icons but real live people being expected to shoulder the world. He brings up the various charities and causes heroes support and how ordinary citizens can be heroes in their own way. He never directly comments on current politics but instead speaks of morality and philosophy, not as a highly educated adult but a deeply empathetic child who has seen the worst the world has to over and continues to smile.

It’s an instant hit and Billy is brought on semi-permanently. He’s popular enough the radio forgives his odd hours and occasional absences and politely overlooks the fact that he ought to be in school/foster care. They give him a microphone that distorts his age and call him the Wizard. The show becomes so popular that it extends beyond Fawcett City and soon is being uploaded online and being broadcast around the country and behind. And some heroes listen in too. Barry listens to the program on his morning jog, it invigorates him to do better and makes him re-evaluate his role as a hero. Bruce will have it quietly in the background when he’s feeling low on a bad case to remind himself that all his efforts and suffering have meaning. Clark leans back in his chair at the Daily Planet and wonders how a civilian from the Midwest can understand the burden of heroism.

Billy is doing his program when the producer knocks on the glass window in a panic. Superman is here and wants to interview with Billy. Bill is freaking out, thinking he’s been caught but the first thing Supes does is gently cradle Billy’s small hands in his own and thank him for being a source of kindness and inspiration. Superman is thrown at first that the Wizard is a child, an obviously hardliving one at that, but presses on. The Man of Steel notoriously hard to interview but he chats easily with Billy, answering questions and debating morality and cause/effect of heroes and villains. The interview goes viral and soon even more heroes are stopping by.

Green Arrow comes and screams into the mic about the abuse of the government on underprivileged people. Wonder Woman and the Wizard have a fascinating, in depth discussion on gods and belief as both prove to be a wealth of obscure knowledge. One of the Robins comes and talks about kids in the hero biz and some unnnamed British man who keeps getting his swears bleeped out gives a kind of magic 101 which mostly translates to “don’t (bleep)ing mess with it”. Everyone wants to know who the Wizard is but his identity is locked down tight, first by Whiz radio, who knows they’ll be in trouble with child labor laws and the Justice League who has become obsessed with this kid. Many have wanted to adopt the precious bean to the detriment of Billy’s blood pressure.

Everyone always asks why Captain Marvel hasn’t come by for a visit. He’s so friendly and open and operates directly out of Fawcett City. Cap is sweating at the Watchtower when his friends are talking about the latest show and gently berating him for not interviewing. Billy is grimacing as his producer makes him ask, on air, if the Cap would show up for a chat. He just wanted to make a little bit of extra cash in his off hours and now he’s kind of an international sensation and unofficial hero whisperer. Maybe Constantine can help him with a sort of duplication spell?

My favorite version of tawny tawky is when he’s just a stuffed animal, and then boom! Magical tiger.

Protagonist and Antagonist host a slumber party together and several good/evil/neutral supporting characters are invited.

what about the 10 year old’s pet tiger and the taxi driver to the mean bisexual lol

Sometimes a friend group is a hot wizard, a 10 year old boy and a mean bisexual

A bunch of the Justice League’s villains work together to capture the league and when someone asks where Captain Marvel is, his villains point over at Billy Batson, a scrawny underfed 10 year old child, and so everyone is like, “Bro what the fuck that is very clearly not Captain Marvel” and his villains are like, “Trust me it is” and then try to get Billy to show everyone but Billy starts panicking because he doesn’t know what to do in this situation and ends up just doing what any 10 year old would do when they’ve been kidnapped by their arch-nemeses and can’t fight them off without revealing that they’re a child to their superhero coworkers, and bursts out into tears while trying to act like a completely normal 10 year old and so now everyone is just glaring at his villains like, “What the fuck guys" while they’re desperately trying to get Billy to Shazam

so diluc is 5’10

Headcanon: Everyone just assumes that between Bruce and Hal that Bruce is the disciplinarian and Hal’s just there to look pretty. But one of these men was raised in a strict military family and the other one drove his butler wild with his rich kid shenanigans. So the JL are in for a shock when BruceHal are off-world on a mission and the Bat kids have somehow set 2/3 of the Gotham harbour on fire. Like the water’s on actual fire. 

Barry: We’re going to tell Batman!

Batkids: *look at each other and shrug*

Batkids: Weird flex but okay. 

Superman: And I guess we should tell Green Lantern as well?

Batkids:…disperse!