𝕳𝖊𝖓𝖗𝖞 𝖂𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖗

Lucerys wip that I desperately need to finish/edit

Therefore, do not hesitate to make a mistake and continue searching until you find the right person.

k.b. // human design analysis

Saturday's study log and reflections.

Jakarta on that Saturday was quite solemn, despite the news that has broken so many people's hearts. People—from high school students to middle- and lower-class workers, individuals to organizations and political parties—took to the streets (specifically in front of the House of Representatives at Senayan and the KPU - General Elections Commission - at Menteng) to protest recent political events that felt like violations of Indonesia's fundamental laws. The protests began on August 22, 2024, and continued on August 23 and August 24, although the last two days weren't as massive as the first.

As someone who studies Human Rights and a small portion of international law, what these masses of people did in Jakarta and other cities in Indonesia is solid evidence of how people in this country still love democracy and want it to remain the government's solemn system. The protests they voiced (and will keep voicing until their goals are accomplished) help to restore the checks and balances that the government of Indonesia seems to have forgotten, as they have become drunk with power.

Many protesters were hurt, and some even lost their eyes. It's heartbreaking that the cost of democracy is the blood of its own people who need it the most.

This massive event reflects what I've been studying these past two months in my EDX course: Human Rights, Human Wrong. I've learned how a government can be both the protector and the abuser of its own people. What happened in Indonesia is a clear example. This realization has deepened my understanding of the delicate balance required to maintain a just society and the courage needed to stand up against injustice.

I may not take part in the protest directly, but let me do my part by sharing the stories of people who came back home safely and how they cried about their friends' brutal abductions by police. Let me share the screams for justice of people who are moving en masse to regain the utmost power of democracy. Their courage and determination inspire me to use my voice to amplify their cause, ensuring that their struggles are not forgotten.

Let the government realize how easily they can gain power, and how easily it can slip away from their hands. Democracy is not just a system but a living, breathing entity that requires constant vigilance and care from both the governed and those who govern.

Henry Wintor's Suicide: An Explanation

To understand the why of the matter, we first need to know Henry’s past. To begin, Henry Winter wasn’t in a car accident. Much like all the other assumptions, it was born from another characters lips and not the subjects. Bunny himself says; “I think that’s what it was. don’t know what else it could’ve been.” And in my humble opinion didn’t draw the alternative option as, what is unthinkable is undoable.

No, instead the conclusion I've drown myself to is that he was beaten by his Father to such a degree he was hospitalized.

1# Evidence of my Conclusion

Henry is a poor driver, even with his precious Julian in the seat right next to him. This is in stark contrast to Camilla and Charles, whose parents were actually in a car accident, and thus get nervous days before travel. Francis too is shown to be anxious particularly when Henry is in the drivers seat, and is so ‘’even in the most propitious of circumstances’’.

Henry can make himself invisible. An odd trait for a man as broad as him, who already is intimidating to those around him. However, he wasn’t always that big, was he? Well, being able to be imperceptible is a survival mechanism for abuse survivors, especially children, which he was indeed once.

He understands Richard in a way you couldn’t without being abused yourself. Richard like himself doesn’t talk about his parents, along with clearly running away from something. The following conversation between the two was extremely telling:

''You’re not very happy where you come from, are you?'' He said I was startled at this Holmes-like deduction. He smiled at my evident discomfiture. ‘’Don’t worry. You hide it very cleverly,’’ he said, going back to his book. Then looked up again. ‘’The others really don’t understand that sort of thing, you know.’’

Henry never smiles at Richard. Hell, Henry likely doesn’t smile often not due to stoicism on his part, but due to the chip in his front tooth. Richard hadn’t understood what Henry was getting at, but to me it’s clear he was trying to comfort him by saying in a light-hearted way ‘’I understand.’’

2# Henrys True Past

Henry’s Father was a man who enjoyed having his way, living the high life with money and women. His business wasn’t ‘’quite above board’’ But money shuts people up—Well, it did. Until he got one of his young flings pregnant.

His family was Catholic (Many families were at the time) Meaning having a child outside of wedlock would’ve been unacceptable. He and his soon to be wife would’ve faced social pressure to wed, and thus, did.

After the arranged marriage, his Father wouldn’t have been as free to do as he pleased, along with now being tied down to a child he didn’t want. He’d have been enraged by the injustice of it all, little Henry being the target for this anger as in his eyes it was the boys fault.

Henrys Mother was young and without power, so when her husbands corporal punishment took a scary turn, she had no way of stopping it. Which left Henry’s Father free to do as he wished—Such as beating Henry half-way to deaths doorstep.

3# So, Why Did Henry Do It?

Much of Henrys behaviour gets dissociated from that of a regular human. On first read, he’s otherworldly, brittle and mysterious. We see the beauty, but not its second face: the way Henry carries an umbrella to protect his sensitive eyes; the manner in which he dresses closely reflecting that of his Fathers fashion preferences, as he had no one else to build his taste upon.

He grew up with no friends, utterly isolated with only tutors and his Mother for company. From what I can surmise, Henry wouldn’t have actually known how to make friends, as he had no previous interactions or social bonds to draw upon. It adds further depth to how meaningful his friendship with Bunny truly would’ve been. Bunny who is friendly with all sorts and highly socially aware—would’ve noticed Henry’s lack of companionship. Bunny, likely was Henrys first actual friend at Hampton, perhaps, his first in years.

Julian saw Henry’s vulnerability, along with his potential for entertainment. He knew what would happen when he introduced Henry to the idea of a Bacchanal—Of escapism and ascending: However, where Julian described it as rebirth, Henry described it as not being you anymore ''After all. the appeal to stop being yourself, even for a little while, is very great'' The further Henry went on, the more it sounded like a plea for relief from reality and himself.

Suicide becomes the only option when we believe there is non other escape. It’s why it’s particularly common amongst teenagers and young adults, as they struggle to see a future past their intense emotions. Many will have ideations for years and will do as Henry did, self-destruct in a last-ditch effort to create a reason to live.

The substance abuse, the murders, the killing of the first friend he ever had—Bunny was truly pivotal, as he treated Henry as an equal. Julian was the final straw, the last peace of approval and love Henry had in the world. ''I loved him more than my own father'' He said ''I loved him more than anyone in the world.''

Henry no longer saw a way out from his suffering through Julian, so he had tried the last thing he could think of—Which was to die in a way he hopped Julian would see as noble, that would mean praise he wouldn't even be around to receive. I believe that's why he held onto life for as long as he did in his final moments, he was waiting for Julian to come back and love him again.

In Indonesian, they say: Terima kasih untuk 4 tahunnya, selamat berpisah.

In poetry, I say:

"Lika liku Menteng yang sudah aku hafal di luar nalarku, tak bakal terbuang sia-sia karena tiap sudutnya akan aku lantunkan doa paling tulus pada Maha Kuasa, yaitu Dia yang pernah kita temui rutin bersama di bawah langit-langit gereja. Biarlah suka duka senang sedih yang bertumpuk jadi memori, terurai dengan sempurna dalam sanubari, beralih jadi ruh dan energi baru tuk ingatkan diri bahwa cinta tak pernah mati hanya berubah perwujudan."

The Secret History by Donna Tartt

I liked Henry. It was happened rather naturally due to the tendency of mine to like cold and mysterious characters. The book synopsis on the book, will not giving you anything rather than a thought of 'ah this book is about students who discovered about the lost history from Ancient Greek and the fact is they're going to change the world with their discovery'. Mind you, I wasn't a Penguin Publisher collector/reader type of girl. Rather, I am more like 'I read what I want and what my heart desired, whenever I want'. So to be frank, this was my very first 500+ pages English novel that I could finish. Which is surprising cause I remember I bought this book only for the aesthetic.

The beginning of the book was so brutal, with the fact that someone has died, not just died but murdered. What a start, isn't it? But it's classic, it ought to be mysterious and made you uncomfortable to sleep without knowing what happen next. The thing about this type of book (modern classic), you'll know that this is a masterpiece when the first sentence of the book was about death.

I lost my words, to be honest. But me, here, right after finishing the book, not for criticizing the book, but only to stay sane. The thing that solely going through my mind is how furious I am yet I feel so empty cause this book is just end like that. Not giving me enough closure that I need!

I almost hate everyone in this book, even with Bunny. But then, by the end of the book, I pity myself. I pity myself for even mad at them all.

Bring back my sanity. I pity myself for not even mad at their wrong-doings to Bunny

Introduction.

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⛧°. ⋆༺⭑.ᐟ internet persona purposed only.

Things to consider before followed her on X (formerly Twitter):

The account is mostly about books, journaling, and cafe hopping related content. Pictures are hers and not for commercial use. Pictures that aren't taken by her would be shared with credit to the owner.

She does soft-blocking almost all the time with accounts she rarely interacted with, to keep her circle small and her timeline familiar. There's no need to take it as offensive action since she didn't put any mind into it.

There would be NSFW content such as interaction, harsh words, profanities, books' theme, so the account is not so much family friend. It's no minor area.

A lot of spoilers, please be aware.

⋅ Isabelle Amanda Hennschen is the name. You may call me with Isa ⋅ A Taurus through, and through. ⋅ Languages spoken are English, Indonesian, High Valyrian (ˢᵒ ˡⁱᵗᵗˡᵉ), German (ˢᵒ ˡⁱᵗᵗˡᵉ) ⋅ Choosing dark/light academia as her aesthetic used avatar: Emily Carey, Kim Dami

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀

⠀⠀⁀➴ HOBBIES

⋆ Reading ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ I love to read, mostly classics and essays. Not to mention, Indonesian historical fiction too. These are my favorite books from all time: The Secret History, Tetralogi Pulau Buru, I, 1984, The Stranger, Homage to Catalonia, Animal Farm, The Jakarta Method, The Universe of Us, A Song of Ice and Fire, and Gadis Pantai.

⋆ Musics ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Genre: RnB, Lo-Fi, Classics, K-Pop, Pop, Folk Artist(s): BTS, Claude Debussy, Keshi, New Jeans, Novo Amor, SZA, Summer Walker, The Weeknd, Franz Gordon, KIOF, Rini, Niki, Thuy, Nadin Amizah, etc.

⋆ Writing and Journaling ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ As for me, writing and reading come in the same package. The more I read, the more dying I am to write my abundance amount of thoughts. My writing mostly about yearning, devotion, and infinite sums of adoration toward people or fictional character I fancy. Journaling is one thing, yet book commentary is another thing I did beside pouring down thoughts about life and universe in general.

Black September (September Hitam)

I finished the reading challenge #BacaBukuSejarahBareng on September with 4 books: 1984 by George Orwell, Bumi Manusia by Pramoedya Ananta Toer, Berita Kehilangan from KontraS, and TEMPO's Investigation Report titled Pengakuan Algojo 1965.

Keep reading to find the review of each books.

1. 1984 by George Orwell — 5 stars

I wasn't a fan of George Orwell until this year, so I haven't had time to delve deep into his political ideology. My very first introduction to his work was when I read Animal Farm. That book's genius enchanted me so badly that the next day I immediately ordered "Homage to Catalonia" and "1984". Despite having both of them since April, only 1984 screamed loudly to me when September came. As an Indonesian who loves history, September was an important month. Although in 1984, Indonesia was mentioned only once, the political satire from this book is actually relatable to what happened in Indonesia in 1965.

If my ego as a politics student speaks, then this book is a good satire toward totalitarianism and not only that, but also to my country's current political situation (as of 10/10/2024).

There is one thing that we as humans do almost all the time, and it is incorrect: separating politics and culture. I wasn't going to talk much about Newspeak and how its grammar can help people to become dull and unintelligent, but I'm going to highlight the brilliance of Big Brother (if he is even real and not a fictive figure made by The Party) and The Party in using politics to redefine cultures, and by saying cultures, it also means the change from Oldspeak (Standard English) to Newspeak. The culture reset The Party was trying to do can determine every aspect of everyone's life.

The Party knows tremendously well the importance of controlling and remaking the culture as they like with their political power. And this narrative that Orwell brought is so genius as to even touch the surface of the most fundamental thing in everyone's life: language. Changing the language can change habits and perspectives. And The Party wasn't even finished with language as the main tool of control. It also uses psychological manipulation and brainwashing. I mean, how many times did we see that Oceania (the country where The Party resides) changed its war enemy from Eurasia to Eastasia? And how fast can the news be changed so that no one can trace that there was an error made by The Party?

I was foolish to think that Orwell would go easy on this book, by giving the reader a slight romance and sweet forbidden love. I was also naïve to think that Winston and Julia would go hand in hand, meeting the Brotherhood and- Jesus, I really was naïve. But of course, it is really Orwell's book when he won't give the wonderful and happy ending closure to the reader.

2. Bumi Manusia (This Earth of Mankind) by Pramoedya Ananta Toer — 5 stars

In these times, it is an enviable privilege when someone possesses the Buru Quartet series by Pramoedya Ananta Toer. Those who have read 'This Earth of Mankind,' the first book of the aforementioned series, should rejoice for being able to enjoy this magnificent novel in its original language. We should also be proud that our nation's dark history was still willingly written with such skill by Pramoedya Ananta Toer, who was continually oppressed by the state through imprisonment and marginalization.

'This Earth of Mankind' is an excellent opening book for the Buru Quartet, providing a solid foundation for understanding Indonesia's journey through this historical fiction. Set in the late 19th century, this book tells the story of Minke, a native Javanese youth (inlander) born into the aristocratic class (priyayi). From the beginning, Minke's character is left mysterious and unclear in origin, though said to come from a priyayi family background. Thus, readers are made curious about Minke, and this curiosity grows along with Minke's journey as a student at HBS or Hogere Burger School.

A spotlight often shone on Minke is how he, as a native, was able to attend HBS and achieve excellent rankings at the school. This was an extraordinary achievement for a native because HBS was mostly filled with totok or pure Dutch and Indo or mixed Dutch. Not only that, Minke was also praised by many for his fluency in Dutch, like a native speaker. This fluency even made his own mother doubt his Javanese-ness.

The main conflict of the novel begins when Minke meets Nyai Ontosoroh, a concubine who, according to Minke, is unlike typical concubines. Nyai Ontosoroh has a very strong character, supported by her proficiency in Dutch and her ability to read Dutch magazines. Minke had never known a Nyai or concubine capable of speaking and (seemingly) being as educated as Nyai Ontosoroh. Minke's heart is also stirred by the beauty of Nyai Ontosoroh's daughter, Annelies Mellema. The meeting of these three is an unusual one, causing all mouths in their town to gossip about them.

'This Earth of Mankind' itself was inspired by Tirto Adhi Soerjo, the Father of Indonesian Press. He was a journalist, writer, and nationalist who lived from 1880 to 1918. Tirto Adhi Soerjo also founded several newspapers such as Medan Prijaji, which in its time became the first newspaper operated by natives in the Dutch East Indies.

This novel writes a scathing critique of Dutch colonialism that occurred in Indonesia, as well as the complexities of racism and classism during Dutch colonialism. Not only that, Javanese traditionalism is also challenged by the modernity brought by Dutch knowledge, making this book not simply place one party in the black camp and the other in the white. In fact, some argue that the Dutch East Indies Government and the Javanese Priyayi who held positions in the Dutch East Indies government were two giant pillars that suppressed the lives of people without positions and noble blood.

Minke's own morality can be questioned. On one hand, he is greatly advantaged by the noble blood flowing within him, allowing him to attend a good school, but on the other hand, he is also disgusted by and curses Javanese aristocracy which he feels greatly demeans other humans. From Dutch school, he learns about individual rights and freedom of thought and opinion, but at the same school, he realizes that no matter how free a person is, they cannot be freer than the colonizers who come to colonize.

Buru Quartet, series which Pramoedya Ananta Toer narrated during his exile on Buru Island, has been praised for many years yet the availability of these books remain limited. It is why I am hoping that may the rumors regarding of Pramoedya’s works’ reprinting in 2025, truly happen. Because it is such a shame for everyone in Indonesia to not knowing this great roman.

3. Berita Kehilangan from various writers compiled by KontraS and Ultimus — 4.5 Stars

Inside of the reading communities spread across X (formerly Twitter), many have agreed to give September a moniker: Black September. This is done to commemorate the enforced disappearances and killings that occurred in September-October 1965 and many that followed during Orde Baru (New Order) Regime. There's also hashtag going online titled #BacaBukuSejarahBareng which then motivated me to pick up history-themed books available on the bookshelf in my room.

I've owned "Berita Kehilangan" since 2021, but as per my usual habit, I waited for this book to "call out" to me to be read. At the right moment, last September, I finally decided to break the seal of this book to enjoy its contents.

But how could I enjoy what I read, if it contains an anthology of heart-wrenching short stories inspired by enforced disappearances to cruel murders? Throughout all the short stories, the main perpetrator consistently points to the government. The government through its racist policies, through its brutal and cruel military apparatus, and through the cultures of enforced disappearances deliberately perpetuated to create an atmosphere of terror, so that society remains submissive and obedient to the government.

This anthology of short stories originated from the "Berita Kehilangan" short story writing competition held during the Week of Enforced Disappearances 2021 (held by KontraS) and participated by 280 writers. There are 15 selected short stories from 15 writers through the competition and 5 short stories from 5 guest writers, that fill this book. All of them stem from real events and experiences of people who witnessed or became victims or were affected or also those who studied the dark history of this nation.

One of the short stories in this book that made me pause for quite a while is the fact that there were forced relocations/abductions of underage children from East Timor during the conflict with Indonesia from 1975-1999. These children were taken by military personnel to Indonesia. Many children then lived in neglect and grew up in poverty, and not a few experienced sexual abuse and forced religious conversion.

There's also a story inspired by the true story of a young Chinese activist, who was found murdered in her home. Ita Martadinata Haryono was a key witness who was to testify at a UN hearing in New York in October 1998. Ita was about to testify about the mass rape of Chinese Women after the 1998 reformation.

4. Pengakuan Algojo 1965 — 4.5 stars

"That ideology (Communism, Marxism, and Leninism) has long been bankrupt. The Soviet Union is in shambles, China is now as capitalist as America. The idea of a classless society is an outdated and futile utopia... In other words, face communism with relaxation. Because that ideology is actually quite ordinary."

This book contains 10 pages dedicated to a "disclaimer" stating that Tempo's investigative report is intended for a higher purpose and not merely to "corner" certain groups or perpetrators of violence. This report is published and compiled to inspire national reconciliation for the victims and families of the 1965 Incident. The book also provides historical facts that many Indonesians have almost forgotten about how military personnel, religious organizations, and thuggish actions could unite to kill hundreds or even millions of people.

This institution was called the Operational Command for the Restoration of Security and Order (Kopkamtib), established on October 2, 1965, to crush the PKI and restore state order that had just been hit by the September 30th Movement. The National Commission on Human Rights, through its investigation, found that Kopkamtib was the main perpetrator of gross human rights violations in the 1965-1966 events.

The format of this book is quite interesting, as it provides a series of interview results and investigations of people who were once involved in the killing of party members and PKI sympathizers, and also highlights the experiences of people who directly witnessed these events. Not only that, several articles from historians and researchers are also included to add insight into the events that occurred 59 years ago.

Nevertheless, this book does not focus too much on cases that befell women at that time. Most of those interviewed as victims were only men (there is only one article with a female source).

𝔯𝔞𝔦𝔫𝔶 𝔠𝔦𝔱𝔶 𝔪𝔬𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤 🌧️🏙️☕️🚕