Latest Posts by pinknbluepolkadots - Page 3

harry potter starts a youtube channel and all of his videos are called like:  

“STORY TIME: I WAS A TEENAGE CHOSEN ONE”

 “BABYSITTING MY FRIEND’S WEIRD DEAD HORSE (INVISIBLE)” 

“THERE ARE DARK WIZARDS TRYING TO KILL ME BUT ONLY THREE PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT MY HOUSE”

remember in goblet of fire when minerva says ‘potter’s a boy, not a piece of meat!’

imagine harry telling her everything after the battle of hogwarts, telling her about how dumbledore raised him like a pig for slaughter, and how he had to die and mcgonagall gets so goddamned mad

she loses control for the first time that harry’s EVER seen and she’s actually yelling, she’s so pissed that harry was seventeen and he had to accept death and dumbledore KNEW he would have to die and NEVER TOLD HIM

and harry’s about to cry because yeah his friends would be devastated if he was gone but NO ONE got this damn pissed that dumbledore had raised him so that he could die at the right time and mcgonagall’s in the middle of a rant and he just shoots up and hugs her and she’s stunned into silence but after a moment she hugs back and it’s great

and then she goes up to her office and starts screaming at dumbledore’s portrait because ‘i don’t care if it had to happen, albus, he is a CHILD-’

Hundreds of innocent people are dying and being raped every day, stop doing whatever you are doing right now and inform yourself. Talk with others about it and share.

Imagine your sister/mother/aunt and possibly even you was being raped by multiple adult men, DISGUSTING

And it goes on every single fucking day. This sounds like pure hell. People are hiding everywhere they can, probably not getting out and getting enough food. There is so much shit wrong with that.

And lastly, it doesn’t matter how much influence you have on social media or what your status is as long as you post just one single thing about what is happening right now. You are helping. Look, I for example have 20 followers, but do I care? No, maybe only 5 of my followers will see this, but that’s better than 0.

And if you live in one of those countries mentioned above, PLEASE donate if you are able to.

“listen… harry’s in trouble, and we could tell mum and dad, but I reckon we should just steal the flying car and go kidnap him in his muggle neighborhood, even though I’m 12 and you’re both 14 and this is a crime and the three of us cant drive”

“excellent”

Okay so you know that trope in fics where after Harry comes out, Ron asks him if he ever looked at him that way? Usually his response is relief but like, what if it wasn’t? What if it went like…

Ron: What do you mean you’ve never? Harry: Well, you’re like my brother. It would be too weird. Ron: Not even once? Harry: Nope. Ron: But you’ve thought about Malfoy? Harry: Um, recently, yeah. Ron: I’m gonna need a 20 inch essay on what Malfoy has that i don’t. Harry: It’s not like that! Hermione, help me out here. Ron: Is it the hair? Hermione: I doubt that’s it, he used to like Ginny. Maybe it’s more about posture. Harry: *hitting his head to the desk and groaning* Ron: I’m taller than he is Harry and he’s a bit skinny to be honest. I have more bulk, you know? Wait, where are you going? I’m a bloody catch, come back! Hermione, snickering: There there, Ronald. I know you are.

People keep leaving “Isn’t Bill’s first name Bilius?” comments on one of my HP posts and the answer is no. I checked before I posted. Bill Weasley’s first name is actually William. 

“Do you, William Arthur, take Fleur Isabelle….?” 

- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Chapter 8. The Wedding

People are getting the name Bilius from a Weasley uncle, the one who saw a Grim and died twenty-four hours later. Ron’s middle name is also Bilius. Ron presumably was named for this uncle. 

“Talking about Muriel?” inquired George, re-emerging from the marquee with Fred. “Yeah, she’s just told me my ears are lopsided. Old bat. I wish old Uncle Bilius was still with us, though; he was a right laugh at weddings.” 

- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Chapter 8. The Wedding

It’s kind of funny to imagine, though, that Bill could have grown up thinking that his name was Bilius. Kids often don’t know the “correct” names for things because the adults in their life refer to these things incorrectly as an in-joke or by nicknames. If everyone called him Bill and Bill grew up knowing his Uncle Bilius, then he could have very plausibly been under the impression for many years that his name was also Bilius. 

Until, of course, September of 1982 rolls around. 

Professor Minerva McGonagall opens a scroll and begins reading off the names of the first-years who are to be Sorted. She gets to the very last name on the list (entirely possible with a W name) and calls out: “WEASLEY, WILLIAM!” 

11-year-old “Bill” Weasley, who has just this second found out that his first name is actually William: “…Who?!” 

I still wonder what it’s like to Feel the firm grip of your hand Imagining the quiet whispers of “I’m sorry, I understand,” &  Loving you’s a living hell But I want to do it well & I don’t know how

- Like Hell, @staganddragon

draco malfoy: i’ll take my secret love of potter to the grave

the grave: *beckons*

draco: POTTER

thank you to @dddraconis for the idea to do ‘dark twist on the little mermaid’ w/malfoy losing his gay ass voice <3

Harry Potter + Cards Against Humanity

i can’t believe that they cut this scene in the movie??

draco’s first hour watching baking shows: wow, these people are quite good

draco on his 23rd hour in a row: idc how good her fondant is, if kathy doesnt add more buttercream to that mixture her consistency is going to be all off

harry, trying to work: malfoy you have never baked in your ENTIRE BLOODY LIFE

Harry: Hey Draco, guess what this shirt is made out of.

Draco, rolling his eyes: We’ve been dating for years, Potter. I know it’s boyfriend materi—

Harry, getting down on one knee: Wrong. It’s husband material.

Coming into a fandom late

Harry Potter AU in which Fred and George are in different houses and they steal and wear each others ties whilst doing stupid things in hope of the others house losing points

So I’m applying to go to University in July...

Me, writing a Personal Competencies Statement: How do I say, ‘I write gay wizard porn in my spare time’ but in an academic kind of way?

Like this,

'I am a prolific writer of relationship based fictional fantasy stories which I publish periodically in an online community of like-minded authors.’

have you ever seen the english subtitles for a chinese bootleg of harry potter and the chamber of secrets?

because

they’re

great

full album here

do you ever look at someone and think ‘man, what a work of art’

Lily: this is what I want to be wearing when my husband dies under mysterious circumstances.

Sirius: yes. Exactly. Standing out on a balcony that overlooks the sea, smoking a long cigarette and the police come to question me and I say “what are you implying officer? I loved my husband!”

Lily: *nodding* yes, yes. I offer them fresh tea in the cups that just happen to be set up waiting for them.

Sirius: nah, fuck the tea. I’m drinking a Cosmo. And I have a pet pig and I casually mention that pigs can devour a human body in under an hour…

Lily: not sure about the pig, but I have a rose garden and I mention how good fertilizer helps them grow.

Sirius: ah yes, and we walk down a beautiful staircase, our perfectly manicured hands running down the ornate banister.

Lily: of course. No other way to do it.

James:….

Remus:….

Lily:…

Sirius:…

Remus: ….pig needs to be in a matching robe.

James: and a flower crown made of roses

Lily: they’re right.

Sirius: yes… Too bad they have to die.

((Based on a conversation with @iforgotthesardines about this robe:

James: Hey Remus I need some advice-

Remus, immediately: Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how many chocolate chips to add, you measure that shit with your heart

James: Right, Okay…. See I actually had something else in mind..

Draco: father will be hearing about this

Harry: …

Harry: we’re writing our wedding invitations

Draco: yes he will be so pleased

the very few occasions on which remus lupin has cried in front of someone

- when he came out to lily

- when sirius told him he thought his scars were beautiful

- when he asked sirius to marry him (and we all know what the answer was)

- the one time he got really drunk with james and got emotional over a cat video

Okay this also bothered me

Harry: hey

Voldemort: what the fuck is it now Potter?

Harry: what is with parseltongue?

Voldemort: …. run this by me again.

Harry: like, are we just going to accept that we can talk to snakes for no reason at all?

Voldemort: it’s magic.

Harry: Is it? Because I don’t see any people who speak cat or moose around here. Why snakes? Snake talking seems to be a really stupid and specific thing to just magically happen. I feel like ravens would be much more useful to talk to. Or owls! Owls are magical, it would make sense if some of us could talk to owls, but no, it’s only snakes. Not even lizards or anything, just giant hissing scaly worms.

Voldemort:

Harry: look, all I’m asking is, if Salazar Slytherin’s dad or mum did, or did not- fuck a magic snake.

Voldemort:

Voldemort: get the fuck out of my castle

harry: CAN YOU NOT

draco: what

harry: MAKE STUPID LITTLE PAPER CRANES LIKE YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH ME

draco: have you looked inside those cranes?

harry: no *opens paper crane* *sees an animated harry and draco holding hands with love* *opens more* *there is one where they kiss*

draco:

harry: oh

i’m still PISSED about harry potter leaving draco to die because “oh boo hoo there aren’t enough seats in this minivan someone has to stay behind” like you fool. you fucking fool. i’ve ridden to walmart and back in an 11-person shuttle seating 17 people just bc i didn’t wanna wait to get some skim milk. are you really telling me that you couldn’t put a dude in the trunk for the sake of getting away from a collapsing island? you worried about not having enough seat belts??? people died bc of your poor minivan management skills, harry

Harry: (in a crowd and can’t find Ron)

Harry: (cups hands over mouth) HARRY POTTER HAS STUPID HAIR

Draco: WHO SAID THAT I WILL FIGHT YOU

Harry: wait what

family dinners

draco: oh grow up POTTER

harry: you’re an annoying little git aren’t you

draco: why you—

ron, to his concerned family: you’d think they hated each other, but they’re actually engaged. crazy fools, they are

hermione, sipping hot chocolate: it’s best to leave them to it…biscuits anyone?

Harry: it was Malfoy

Ron and Hermione: The views and opinions expressed above are solely Harry’s and do not speak on behalf of us nor do they reflect in any way the views and opinions of The Golden Trio™ as a whole

The most hilarious thing about the fact Buckbeak had a trial and lost is that later on JKR resolves the issue by having Hagrid take him in again and renaming him Witherwings. That’s literally all it took. What if in POA, Hagrid simply said, “Sorry, Buckbeak flew away.” 

“There’s a hippogriff right there, Hagrid.”

“A different hipprogriff.”

“I’m… pretty sure that’s the same hipprogriff.”

“Prove it.”