You Think That Someone Understands You, That Someone In Your Family Finally Gets You, But Then It Turns

What do you mean by “normal”? I, personally think of it as an aggregate of various definitions.

Normal is what we’re used to. Normal is the societally accepted way of behaving. Normal is uniformity, in the bad way. Normal is heteronormative, ableist, cissexist and sanist. Normal is a wand of control and power weaving mockery and shame; it is nothing but small minded, judgmental hypocrisy.

Spend your entire life listening to people normalize hetero relationships and that becomes your normal; spend your entire life being exposed to the humiliation of those who’re considered “different” and following the code of behavior which does not incite mockery becomes your normal; spend your entire life watching people with psychological illnesses be called ‘cr*zy’ and ‘ins*ne’ and the avoidance of being labeled the same and in the process, behaving according to society’s rules and regulations becomes your normal; spend your entire life learning about dichotomies and binaries and that becomes your normal. Thus, to put simply, normal is more than the societally accepted way of behaving, it is something we’re conditioned to - a spiral sucking you in down to the dot at the center, suffocating and hindering you and your mind’s expansiveness.

 When I think of “normalcy”, I think of what my family and friends, and even I at one point of time, used to refer to as being “normal”. I think of the clothes worn by actresses and dancers, that wasn’t normal, it was indecent and something worn only by the people in the film industry; people who were loud or flamboyant or funky or just indifferent to what society thought of them weren’t normal, they were cr*zy and those were the sort of people you found in a “mental hospital”; gay people weren’t normal, they were freaks of nature; thankfully, since being trans had a scientific explanation, that wasn’t not normal, but this condition could be applied to only people who were of the binary genders, non-binary was definitely not considered “normal”.

Apart from all this, “normal” is also a term used in place of “majority”. This may come as a shock to most, but what you assume to be a majority can in no way be called “normal”. Hence, teachers can’t generalize their students and assume that they’re all cishet, neurotypical and have no psychological illnesses.

 I do not condone calling people “normal”, it’s the same as the whole “most girls” rhetoric – redundant and narrow-minded.

 I’ve experienced humiliation and name calling for acting like a “cr*zy” person. I’ve been told to not “act like a r*tarded child” by my aunt. My uncle once told me I was, in fact, mentally challenged for he had met a lot of kids my age and none of them acted the way I did. One of my relatives told my cousin sister of age 7 to stop acting like an ins*ne person and proceeded to tell her how those people - who acted the way she was acting - were “locked up in a mental hospital because everyone thought they were mad people”.

  I’ve seen and heard people calling gay people “abnormal” and unnatural just because they were gay. In cishet people’s eyes, queer people aren’t normal because-

 A)    The majority of the population were thought to be cishet

B)    That was what they were used to and queer people were considered a “trend” or fad

C)    Society had conditioned them that way .

 Normalcy is a fallacy, it does not exist, it is the biggest scam ever after organized religion – but it still holds power, it can still break people, still make them drown in the feelings of insecurity and rejection, and if that isn’t enough for us to disown the entire concept, please tell me what is, for the last thing I want to do is be associated with something as disgusting as “normal”.  

I'm sick of people.

Louis and Harry are together.

Louis is queer.

Harry is queer.

They're not out in the sense that they literally said so but it's even if you think Larry isn't real, Harry and Louis as two seperate individuals are both queer which is obvious in the way they're throwing out signs hinting at left and right, hoping people see/hear them.

Due to the whole Policeman movie debacle, I'm going to be talking about Harry here. In a hypothetical world if Harry weren't actually queer (trans/not-straight), then it'd mean he'd been queerbaiting with all his jokes/hints/insinuations about gender and sexuality (non-cishet vaala). Which would make him a problematic celebrity on so many levels I can't even begin-- Which would in turn make y'all ignorant deniers red flags because you'd still stan him if he's queerbaiting like this. BUT, FORTUNATELY, from what we know of Harry, he's not a grade A asshole, which means there 0.000001% he's queerbaiting, and so what does that mean my dear kids? THAT'S HE'S FUCKING QUEER, NOW STFU.

Okay, now that that's over and done with. I completely, totally understand why the gp (general public) is upset at Harry, because to them, Harry is this White cishet guy who's playing the role of a gay man, but has never claimed to be queer, to people who don't really know Harry, that's the image they might be getting and I understand where they're coming from, which breaks my heart, but I get their pov. On the other hand, strict gatekeeping makes the community a not-safe space for people who're questioning, and for people who're not blatantly out and open - like Harry isn't, even tho he has given many signs hinting at him not being cishet, and forcing him out of the closet is a huge ass nah nah.

If you disagree with AOTA (except for the Larry part cause I unfortunately can't force people into believing in H&L ka love) feel free to fuck off.

I've been wearing sleeveless and revealing clothes recently cause my self confidence/body confidence is at an all time high, and I noticed something...

Rupa aunty (our warden) has started treating me differently, after she saw me wear revealing/"provacative" clothes outside; there was this girl who was super friendly - she's in the opposite room on our floor - and would smile at me, but once I showed off my boob tattoo to a few other friends of mine, when she was around, she started acting more cold towards me; a few days ago, I went out with Anushka and Traidha, and I was asking auto Chetans if they'd go (I was wearing a tight camisole, but a plaid shirt over it tho) - the first TWO people I asked looked me up and down, gave me really nasty looks and told me quite rudely that they don't know the way and they can't go.

Plus, I've had to face slut shaming - kind of slut shaming - from my family too, so yeah.

And I'm not letting it affect me or anything, I swear, I was just noticing all that and I never realised how such a small thing could change the attitude of people so fast.

I feel so fucking lonely

it's about time people realised self dx means "I've done intensive research on this, read outsider perspectives and personal experiences with people who have so and so, which is why I genuinely feel like I have so and so" and NOT "I relate to this one symptom, I totally have so and so"

yes, I'm pro-self dx.

I know some people think they have the freedom to start discussions about anything and everything and treat matters as a fun topic to debate over and then reach a "to each their own" or "let's let it go now" point, but when you do that about matters which affect people's rights, or which personally affect people (such as queer rights/queerphobia, mental illnesses, sexism etcetc) - you have to realise that what you're utilising isn't your freedom of speech or your right to say whatever you want without giving two shits about the consequences or how it impacts the people who face it/go through it personally, what you're utilizing is your fucking audacity and tone deaf bigotry to be offensive, hurtful, ignorant and discriminatory.

And if your "debate partner" is somebody who goes through the issue personally, faces the stigma and prejudice you seem to treat as a fun argument personally, and thus can't make proper refutes or comebacks or keep calm, it's not on them, it's not fucking on them - it's on you for being a piece of shit asshole who thinks they're free to say and do whatever you want. You may have freedom of speech, but freedom of speech doesn't include hate speech, discriminatory speech or stigmatising speech. Fuck you.

yes, I'm sex and kink positive, and yes I believe that the minimum age for people to start having sex must be atleast 16 - and yes, these can exist together.

I can talk about the problematic aspects of hook up culture and want to have casual sex and support casual sex at the same time. the problematic part (or atleast one of-) of hook up is this belief that sex is purely physical, purely mechanical - like, you follow these steps to reach the orgasm and stage and then you're done and you up and leave. But no, that's not what it is. Sex is so much more than that - sex also involves emotional, psychological attachment, and that has nothing to do with gender. When someone tells you to have sex with people, only whom you trust and that sex is so much more than simply, well, "sex", they're not shaming you (unless they actually are, then fuck them), they're telling you the truth. Sex does affect your psyche, that's why this 'humping and dumping' culture where there's no aftercare or no communication is WRONG - that does impact your emotional health negatively.

What I hate, one thing, about wattpad books is that most of the time, writers write about a player who has sex with girls and leaves before they wake up to show lack of romantic attachment, and later on portray those girls as clingy/whiney people who don't understand the concept behind one night stands. There are SO MANY things wrong with that.

1. Sex takes an emotional toll on the so called player too. There's always a backstory, which is why they're using sex as an escape mechanism. But instead of using that backstory to justify that assholeness, try and talk about mental health properly, urgh.

2. Upping and leaving after having sex doesn't show a lack of romantical connection - you don't have to hump and dump in the fear that you'll form a romantic connection. Staying is important because of the emotional attachment formed when you have sex with someone.

3. Emotional attachment after sex doesn't have a gender. And it's harmful to all genders if you perpetuate this bullshit. Girls can be into one night stands and casual sex without being romantically attracted to the person immediately afterwards and boys can feel romantically attracted to the person right after a one night stand. Fuck these stereotypes/tropes.

Having casual sex or one night stands isn't "cool", it's just a thing. It's not a cool thing, it's not a bad thing, it's just a t h i n g, with absolutely no morality attached to it. And so is not having sex - that's also simply a thing. Waiting for a special person to have sex with isn't "lame", isn't bad and not wanting to have sex at all - whatever the reason - is also VALID. Being sex positive means supporting all of this, not just one night stands and being against slut shaming.

WARNING FOR ACEPHOBIA AND AROPHOBIA

People "pitying" partners of asexual people because they believe their "needs" aren't being met are FUCKING TRASH AND SHOULD GO FUCKING PUNCH THEMSELVES IN THE FACE. Sex is not necessary for a relationship to be meaningful and valid. Sex is only an extra, for some people, it's an extra they need and for some people, it's unnecessary. Sex is not a "need" - nothing will happen to you if you don't get sex (I'm not talking about the influence of mental health on sex rn, that's a different topic altogether), except for the fact that you might remain horny most of the time, which is a YOU thing, not an another person thing. If you can't live without sex, that's on you, keep it to yourself, don't go making other people feel bad just because you want sex.

An asexual person and a sexual person can be in a long lasting, happy, meaningful, fulfilling relationship BECAUSE SEX IS NOT NECESSARY FOR A RELATIONSHIP TO BE THAT. A sexual person and another sexual person who doesn't want to have sex ever because of whatever reasons can be in a long lasting, happy, meaningful, fulfilling relationship because again, I reiterate the same.

And this might be an unpopular opinion, but breaking up with someone whom you've been in a long time relationship with, been in love with each other, like properly - just because the other person is asexual or doesn't want sex is fucked up. It. Is. Fucked. Up. It's shitty, it's mean and it's insensitive.

Yes, yes I know how people do say you deserve to be with someone who understands your kinks and lets you explore them and be comfortable in them, and that you deserve sexual gratification in a relationship - and that's valid too, but not at the expense of people who're sex aversive. And these posts don't even talk about asexual people, they need to be more inclusive. Moreover, being kinky and being asexual can exist together cause asexual people can be into kink. Kink is more than sex, it's about the feeling, so all that matters is communication and understanding between people. Sex isn't everything.

Breaking up with someone because you need sex is a personal choice, personal decision to make - but breaking up with them by making them feel bad for not being able to "fulfill your needs" is shitty and messed up.

Demonizing aromantic people who're allosexual by perpetuating microaggressions such as "oh you can have how much ever sex you want without being attached to the person" is arophobic and insensitive. And so is saying stuff like they're being a predator or objectifying people or sexualising people. Sexual attraction isn't a bad thing. How do you suppose are going to learn the importance of consent, and safe, sane and comfortable sex if you can't make a difference between objectification and thinking that someone is sexy? If you can't make a difference between wanting to have sex with someone and being a predator?

There are so many nuances and it's important to acknowledge all of them.

I'm so tired, like so so so tired

I just wanna end but I can't cause I'm a coward

Can't stop crying why

No point

How many reminders is too many annoying reminders?

hahahahahahaha, can I please delete my existence 🙃