The Edit Itself

I don’t care what you say, comedy peaked with The Animaniacs and Phineas and Ferb. Tell me a show that incorporated humor that was both juvenile and that could amuse adults. I’ll wait.

mom said it’s my turn to be ached for, to have someone feel a stab of hunger for me, to feel nourishment at the sight of me. give it now

Just found out André Baugher died.

I must go to my lair now to sulk.

Gave my pupper a bath

What is this shit? ‘Correct cellulite’, ‘a body positivity spa’? I don’t think so. It’s fine if this is the kind of stuff you enjoy doing, y’know if it makes you feel good about yourself, that’s wonderful. But when you show a model that’s ribs are showing(who is very beautiful but I’m proving a point) and pressure you by saying stuff like ‘get started on your bikini bod’. That’s not body positivity, but instead spreading body negativity. I can wear a bikini with my stomach rolls and rock it! So any girls that see stuff like this and feel bad about yourself, just know its BS!

This is something everyone seems to forget

a devout christian cis woman has been experiencing increasingly intense cramps during her menstrual cycle. she makes an appointment with a gynecologist.

i’m sorry, the gynecologist says. you have a medical condition that makes pregnancy unsafe for you. i recommend an IUD or other form of long term birth control to ensure you won’t get pregnant.

that’s okay, says the woman. god loves me, god has a plan for me, god will not let me get pregnant.

she goes home and tells her husband and he gets worried.

i don’t know, he says. maybe we should use condoms from now on.

it’s okay, says the woman. god loves me, god has a plan for me, god will not let me get pregnant.

they have sex for the first time since her diagnosis and her husband suggests the morning after pill to be safe.

it’s okay, says the woman. god loves me, god has a plan for me, god will not let me get pregnant.

a month and a half after that she’s missed a period and is feeling nauseous sometimes in the mornings. she takes a pregnancy test and it’s positive. she goes back to the gynecologist.

i’m sorry, the gynecologist says. but it’s very unlikely that you’ll survive this pregnancy. i recommend that you terminate and again take some form of long term birth control.

it’s okay, says the woman. god loves me, god has a plan for me, god will not let me or this child die.

at 20 weeks she goes into early labor. her husband rushes her to the hospital but the baby is born too early to be saved and the woman bleeds out as the doctors try to save her.

when she gets to heaven she asks to speak to god and she tells him:

i don’t understand. i was a good christian. i prayed. i trusted in you. i didn’t get an abortion. why did you let me die

and god says i sent you a warning from the gynecologist, condoms, the morning after pill, and the option for an abortion. what are you doing here?

Fuck celebrities, bitch oatmeal raisin cookies should be canceled. Pretending to be chocolate when really you’re just a shriveled up grape with crumbly surroundings. Nasty.

“It’s literally impossible to be a woman.

You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow, we're always doing it wrong?

You have to be thin, but not too thin, and you can never say you wanna be thin. You have to say you wanna be healthy, but also, you have to BE THIN.

You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass.

You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean.

You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas.

You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk about your kids all the damn time.

You have to be a career woman, but also, always be looking out for other people.

You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is INSANE, but if you point that out, you're accused of complaining!

You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood, but ALWAYS STAND OUT and ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL. But never forget that the system is rigged, so find a way to acknowledge that but ALSO, always be grateful!

You have to never get old. Never be rude. Never show off. Never be selfish. Never fall down. Never fail. Never show fear. Never get OUT OF LINE. It's too hard! It's too contradictory, and nobody gives you a medal or says 'thank you!' And it turns out, in fact, that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also, everything is your fault.

I'm just so tired of watching myself, and every single other woman tie herself into knots, so that people will like us.

And if all of that, is also true for a doll just representing a woman, then I don't even know." -Gloria the barbie movie

this is it. this is exactly it oh my god.

there’s absolutely something to be said about ‘booktok’ books being largely wattpad quality written erotica i’m certainly not reading them however having seen a guy on tiktok make a video like ‘all the women in your life are READING PORN’ about a book he picked up and read in his FEMALE FRIEND’S HOUSE in a tone of scandalised horror and disgust i actually don’t think men should be making those criticisms. he said he picked it up expecting a romance and was horrified it was GOONER SHIT he said specifically like ‘who are you getting your pussy wet FOR??’ in a tone of revulsion. idk man im not sure shes the weird one. i kind of wish you were dead