The Baseball We Deserve

My best friend loves rob pattinson and over the years she sent me a lot of articles/quotes of him, so here are some of my favourites

(there is A LOT more, this man is INSANE)

Bonus:

in order to remove the sexual stigma placed on breasts, we must move past the act of shaming people who are brave enough to go topless in public. myself and another transfem friend went topless at our local pride parade not because we were trying to be "sexual" at pride, but to protest the idea that some chests are viewed as inherently sexual and illegal to be viewed publicly, while some are not. it's not a sexual act for someone with breasts to take their shirt off.

i did not have anyone give me rude or sexual comments. i received a lot of approving nods, thumbs up and polite compliments, people were even reminding me that that's the spirit of pride, and hoped that they were brave enough to do the same in the future.

sometimes it's nearly 100 degrees and people with breasts get dangerously overheated. sometimes people with breasts just don't want to wear a shirt. their breasts are not an object for you to get upset about. their breasts are not an object for you to make a moral argument about. their breasts are a part of their body, and they're not scarring or hurting anyone by existing, they are another organ on the human body and someone else's breasts are not up for you to debate about.

there's a specific subset of fans who headcanon pete to have curtwen grandparents and while i see the vision it's a little funny like yeah my grandpa invented the computer my other grandpa is a world-famous spy who tried to stop him from doing that and almost killed him they've been married ever since. my dad sells women's shoes

Does anyone have the fucking tiktok video of the overly enthusiastic rich bearded guy showing off his new hiking shoes in his Mansion and the Woods, but then another dude duets with it to make it look like he's escaping from being held prisoner please please

edit THANKS @smellslikebot

The Least Intimidating bakery in the village has closed for good so now I’ve got to go to the Intimidating Bakery, it’s awful. If you don’t have a PhD in being French I don’t recommend going to that bakery, here’s the humiliating account of the 3 times I’ve visited it so far:

the first time I went in there I pointed at one of those extra-skinny baguettes and said “a flute, please” feeling pretty sure of myself, and the baker said “… that’s a ficelle” (you idiot) (was implied) “a flute is twice as large as a baguette.”

That’s insane, first of all, a flute is a skinny instrument. Call your fat baguette a bassoon, lady—I made some timid remark about how it would make more sense for a flute to be a skinny bread and the baker said, “In Paris it is. I thought you were from the South?”

oh, that hurt

I guess I’m from the part of the South that’s so close to Italy the bread’s waist size matters less than whether it’s got olives in it, but I left the bakery having an existential crisis over whether living in Paris had made me forget my roots

the Least Intimidating Bakery just had normal baguettes vs. seedy baguettes vs. horny baguettes (easy mode, some have seeds, some have horns), while the new bakery has breads that are only different on a molecular level—there’s a good old loaf and then another, identical loaf called a bastard? google told me a bastard is “halfway between a baguette and a bread” but denouncing them like “those are not regulation-sized bastards” would get me banned from the bakery for life

on my 2nd visit (while I stood in line discreetly googling baguette terminology) there was an English tourist who asked for a baguette while pointing at what was either a rustique or a sesame and I felt a bit worried for them, but the baker just clarified “this one?” to waive any responsibility if they found out later it wasn’t a classic baguette, then handed them the bread without educating them in a judgmental tone and I felt envious

I know it’s because she thinks the English are beyond saving but still it made me want to come back with a fake moustache and an English accent so I wouldn’t be expected to play bakery on expert mode just because I’m French. I asked for a pastry this time and the baker asked “no bread with that?” which felt cruel, like she wanted me to sprinkle myself with ashes and admit out loud that my level of bread proficiency isn’t as advanced as I once believed it was

The third time I went, I had lost all self-confidence and I hesitantly pointed at a bread and said “I’d like this, uh—what is it called?” and the baker looked at me in disbelief and said “That’s a baguette.”

God.

for the record, if that stupid bread had been flanked by a skinny bread (ficelle) and a fat one (flute) then yeah of course I would have known to call it a baguette, but in the absence of reference points I now felt lost and scared of being called a Parisian again

it’s hard to express the depth of my suffering so I’ll just let the facts speak for themselves: this morning a French person (me) stood in a French bakery in France surrounded by French people and pointed at a baguette and said “what is this called”

“Those poor boys”

“She deserves to be punished too.”

“I’m not saying I support rape, but-”

“Sorry to say - she deserved it.”

“She put herself in harm’s way”

“But if she was fingered, then that’s not rape.”

“She ruined their lives.”

pausing mid thrust to open tumblr.com to delete the celibacy gif I reblogged 2 weeks ago

One of my favorite genres of post