Cashier: Ok That'll Be $20

hi okay i watched trolls 3 for the first time yesterday and it was because my brother chose it so we watched it in my native and then afterwards i was like man the only one i know is in this film is justin timberlake who actually is in it and i googled the cast and it’s. so fucking stacked????? anna kendrick? troye sivan? kenan thompson?? kunal nayyar?? sean hayes?? glozel?? ERIC ANDRÉ?? DAVEED DIGGS?? FUCKING RUPAUL??? ANDREW RANNELLS HIMSELF IS IN THIS AND NO ONE FUCKING TOLD ME??? WHAT THE FUCK GUYS??? SOMEONE NEEDS TO TELL ME THIS SHIT SO I DON’T HAVE TO FIND OUT THROUGH RANDOMLY GOOGLING THE CAST OF A RANDOM FILM AND GETTING. THE SHOCK OF MY LIFETIME. so anyways pretty good cast

The Least Intimidating bakery in the village has closed for good so now I’ve got to go to the Intimidating Bakery, it’s awful. If you don’t have a PhD in being French I don’t recommend going to that bakery, here’s the humiliating account of the 3 times I’ve visited it so far:

the first time I went in there I pointed at one of those extra-skinny baguettes and said “a flute, please” feeling pretty sure of myself, and the baker said “… that’s a ficelle” (you idiot) (was implied) “a flute is twice as large as a baguette.”

That’s insane, first of all, a flute is a skinny instrument. Call your fat baguette a bassoon, lady—I made some timid remark about how it would make more sense for a flute to be a skinny bread and the baker said, “In Paris it is. I thought you were from the South?”

oh, that hurt

I guess I’m from the part of the South that’s so close to Italy the bread’s waist size matters less than whether it’s got olives in it, but I left the bakery having an existential crisis over whether living in Paris had made me forget my roots

the Least Intimidating Bakery just had normal baguettes vs. seedy baguettes vs. horny baguettes (easy mode, some have seeds, some have horns), while the new bakery has breads that are only different on a molecular level—there’s a good old loaf and then another, identical loaf called a bastard? google told me a bastard is “halfway between a baguette and a bread” but denouncing them like “those are not regulation-sized bastards” would get me banned from the bakery for life

on my 2nd visit (while I stood in line discreetly googling baguette terminology) there was an English tourist who asked for a baguette while pointing at what was either a rustique or a sesame and I felt a bit worried for them, but the baker just clarified “this one?” to waive any responsibility if they found out later it wasn’t a classic baguette, then handed them the bread without educating them in a judgmental tone and I felt envious

I know it’s because she thinks the English are beyond saving but still it made me want to come back with a fake moustache and an English accent so I wouldn’t be expected to play bakery on expert mode just because I’m French. I asked for a pastry this time and the baker asked “no bread with that?” which felt cruel, like she wanted me to sprinkle myself with ashes and admit out loud that my level of bread proficiency isn’t as advanced as I once believed it was

The third time I went, I had lost all self-confidence and I hesitantly pointed at a bread and said “I’d like this, uh—what is it called?” and the baker looked at me in disbelief and said “That’s a baguette.”

God.

for the record, if that stupid bread had been flanked by a skinny bread (ficelle) and a fat one (flute) then yeah of course I would have known to call it a baguette, but in the absence of reference points I now felt lost and scared of being called a Parisian again

it’s hard to express the depth of my suffering so I’ll just let the facts speak for themselves: this morning a French person (me) stood in a French bakery in France surrounded by French people and pointed at a baguette and said “what is this called”

when i call myself queer, i don't mean queer as in watered down to fit cishet tastes, i mean:

queer as in not your token gay or your gay best friend,

queer as in more bite than bark and proudly so,

queer as in the only thing you need to know about is the pepper pray and switchblade in my pocket from years of fear of the streets at night,

queer as in loud and proud and shouting out fuck you.

my identity is not water color so diluted you'd never know it's there without being told, my identity is spray paint on city walls that makes you wonder how it got there,

my identity is drag shows and men kissing men with passion,

my identity is not going to taste sweet in your mouth,

my identity is sour and bitter and bites back harder.

i do not exist to fit within the confines of boxes drawn by the hands of cishet bigots dreaming of crossing out my life, i exist at riots and rallies and pride parades along side allies; i exist in strength and pride earned by bricks thrown and i will not be silenced:

my trans body deserves to occupy space in any situation and my gay heart deserves to beat without fear.

palestine masterpost-masterpost

i've been trying my best to collect a bunch of links to other, more structured resources about the genocide in gaza, and what you, reading this, can do about it, that i'm going to compile here.

DON'T SCROLL PAST. LOOK THROUGH THE LINKS. REBLOG.

less and less people are talking about gaza every day, but it is still a very real crisis.

education, donations, speaking out, global links (masterpost)

links to contextual articles

for americans - state/congressional contacts

how you can help palestine - donations, petitions, campaigns, upcoming protests (masterpost)

non-politically motivated charity links

canary mission

petitions and congressional contact (masterpost)

education, current news, taking action, direct action and donations, current protests (masterpost)

small monetary actions

2700 ebooks on israel and palestine, available for free

thorough article by storiesfromgaza, dated 10/30/23

targeted boycott + bds

how to find state/congressional contacts, bds, email template, donation links

sudan and congo

egypt, us/uk/canada/europe congressional contacts

direct links to help palestine

educate yourself (twitter links)

translating gaza (instagram link)

bds/targeted boycott information

compilation of palestine info and how to support it (masterpost), dated 10/28/23

latest info as of 11/3/23 and large amounts of immediate action to take (masterpost)

history of palestine and israel - articles, books, films, social media (masterpost)

socials to follow

journalists in north gaza

btselem

“Keep descriptions short and don’t use poetic/flowery language in a novel” “if a scene doesn’t advance the plot cut it” “avoid complicated symbolism and hinting at things, just say what you mean” “too much worldbuilding is distracting” bites you bites you bites you bites you bites y

We all know this site is US-user heavy, but I wanna know how many are vs aren't from the land of capitalism.