Cryptid Says Shit - Blog Posts

probably-crying-over-the-village

1 year ago

hi okay i watched trolls 3 for the first time yesterday and it was because my brother chose it so we watched it in my native and then afterwards i was like man the only one i know is in this film is justin timberlake who actually is in it and i googled the cast and it’s. so fucking stacked????? anna kendrick? troye sivan? kenan thompson?? kunal nayyar?? sean hayes?? glozel?? ERIC ANDRÉ?? DAVEED DIGGS?? FUCKING RUPAUL??? ANDREW RANNELLS HIMSELF IS IN THIS AND NO ONE FUCKING TOLD ME??? WHAT THE FUCK GUYS??? SOMEONE NEEDS TO TELL ME THIS SHIT SO I DON’T HAVE TO FIND OUT THROUGH RANDOMLY GOOGLING THE CAST OF A RANDOM FILM AND GETTING. THE SHOCK OF MY LIFETIME. so anyways pretty good cast

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no i’m not joking i was. in shock my father was like who’s that? i think i’ve seen them before and then he was refering to like daveed diggs or troye sivan or FUCKING ANDREW RANNELLS and i physically had to stop myself from screaming cryptid says shit

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probably-crying-over-the-village

1 year ago

me: what the fuck is virgin northern european hair? is that like a norwegian person who doesn’t fuck? why does that matter?

me, an entire fucking 20 seconds later when i already had scrolled past: IT’S NOT DYED. IT’S HAIR THAT IS NOT DYED. IT IS HAIR THAT HAS NEVER PREVIOUSLY BEEN DYED. THAT MAKES MORE SENSE.

why did they ever even attempt to try and make another actor wear a white-blonde wig after orlando bloom in the lotr trilogy. don’t they understand that we peaked 20 years ago and everything else has looked like shit after that

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I mean help me good god cryptid says shit i am dead fucking serious right now i think i need sleep or something what the fuck just happened to me I WAS REALLY LIKE why would you need that? is it like human sacrifices having to be virgins? is there just something different about it? is my hair virgin northern european hair? i’m virgin northern european and i have hair BESTIES NEVER HAVE BEEN SO WRONG SAVE ME FROM MY OWN STUPIDITY DYED of course it was fucking DYED why would the hair need to commit CELIBACY WHY would HAIR need ABSTINENCE

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probably-crying-over-the-village

1 year ago

was scrolling through a fight in the comments of a really not controversial at all post (but it was about trans people. so y’know). and the comments were as always being derailed by what-fucking-ever and someone was fighting over something, and one of them pulls out the “oh? well then explain to me why [some form of prejudice i don’t remember] is bad!” and the other person did

AND THEN

PERSON NUMBER ONE WAS JUST LIKE “oh okay, i can see how that’s bad actually, thank you for explaining”

AND PERSON NUMBER TWO WAS LIKE “thank you for open to new information! it can be really scary to confront prejudices, thanks for listening!”

tumblr dot com really is the finest hellsite the internet has to offer i have never seen someone learn from their mistakes on tiktok or be open to listening to others on twitter