Destcember Day 4: Little Joys

I have questionable tastes

joker’s wild is here and penumbra is coming and i’m reminded of the Discomfort

Destcember Day 11: Knowledge Is Power

Knowledge is power. That has been my mantra since I was revived in service to humanity. When I awoke without any memory of myself or the world, I wanted to know. To know where I was, to know who I was, to know what I was, because if I could just know, then I would be fine. But with every answer I learned, another question sprung up and the desire to know never abated. I think that's why the Traveler brought me back, to learn about all I could for the sake of humanity. So, now I research the deepest parts of the Darkness, the searing brightness of the unknown parts of the Light, and the strangest mysteries of our universe. I collect the whispering bones of the Ahamkara that we destroyed because we could not control them or tame their parasitic nature. I fight into the depths of Hive strongholds to steal their tomes and objects of power. I make deals with Cabal and Eliksni to learn about their history and their culture. I work with Osiris to unravel the machinations of the Vex. And even though I am set in my course, the Vanguard still seek to dissuade me. Stare not to long into the Abyss, they warn, lest it stare back at you. But I must continue to to learn, for it is better to risk losing myself to find a light than to stumble blindly into the night.

Destcember Day 30: New Vistas

Of all the places that I have been, perhaps the one that awed me the most my first time being there was Mara Sov's throne world, specifically the Queen's Court. It was such a beautiful sight, looking out past the edge of the universe and seeing. I stood there for as long as I could, until Mara started less than subtly suggesting that I should leave. It isn't just her Court that is beautiful. While I was Dûl Incaru, what I saw of the rest of her throne world looked like it would be almost as awe inspiring as her Court once the damage Oryx did is repaired. If we ever manage to end all of the wars we are fighting, maybe I will be able to find myself a place with such a view. Perhaps a little home on Pluto, without any light pollution to obscure my view. Or, if I can master enough kinds of magic, I could carve myself out a bit of the ascendant plane. Hell, even the Drifter managed to get himself a slice to store his Taken monsters in, as small and ramshackle as it may be. Yeah, I think I'll look into that. Surely all that killing that I have had to do recently must be good for something.

Destcember Day 15: Forged In Battle

The best weapons are forged in battle. Guns are a good example of this principle. The Whisper of the Worm is the remnants of a dead god, left to us to feed it in the manner of the Sword Logic after we were able to kill three enemies of the past, revived to fight us once again. Also exemplary are the weapons offered by the Black Armory. Every weapon they produce is a lethal work of art, all because of their delicate calibrations from data gathered through combat. But the best proof of all is guardians. Sure, you could train a guardian in peacetime, without any practical combat, but something would be lost. Battle forges a guardian, hardening us to the trials that we face while fighting. The pain of bullets ripping into your body. The searing burn of a grenade or rocket hitting just at your feet. The icy grip of death, albeit temporary. Without battle to harden us, when the time comes, we would break.

Destcember Day 10: What Is Worth Fighting For

I admire Petra and her Corsiars greatly, probably more than anyone else, in the Reef or the City. Unlike us guardians, they don't have the luxury of returning after death, and yet they fight just as bravely as any of us to protect what is worth fighting for. Even though they are caught in a time loop by Riven's last curse, I have let to see a single on give up or try to run. Perhaps the best example I have seen of this is Amrita Vae. When Petra called for her Corsairs to return and protect the Dreaming City, without a hint of hesitation, she abandoned the home she had made for herself on Earth and risked her life to help reclaim the Reef. Every three weeks, I find her gravely injured, having failed to protect the relics she was assigned to guard. And yet, the next time the cycle repeats, she is there again, having stayed to fight, despite knowing what would happen to her and that she would fail again. That is why I always come when Petra calls for our help, despite so many other guardians having abandoned their eternal conflict. Because if the Corsairs refuse to give up on on their home and what they believe is worth fighting for, then who am I to give up on them.

Destcember Day #4: The Dark Side of the Moon

You know, it's funny. Before the Golden Age and the Collapse, we used to look up at the Moon with a sense of wonder and fascination. My past life even had the pattern of the dark side engraved into the metal of my back, along with a few stars. It was always a source of serenity, a nightlight to brighten the dark. It was our beacon in the dark that outshone any star out in the inky black. But now the dark has taken it from us.

Now, when I look the Moon, I feel a twinge of fear take hold. It feels like there is a gun leveled at my head that could be fired at any moment. The Hive crawl all over its surface and through its caverns, desecrating it with their filthy rituals and larvae. They swarm like bees, ready to sting at any moment, needing no provocation or reasoning other than the chance to spread their grasp and slaughter the innocent. At the center of it all, there is the queen. They are just one being, damaged and trapped, but still they have spread their Nightmares everywhere. They are just the first of many to come.

From my room in the City, I can't see any of them, but I know they are there. Every time I look at it, I remember how powerless I was against just one of those Pyramids and imagine how many more their are. I can still feel the brush against my mind and body as the Nightmares drew close and the ship possessed my ghost. My best friend was taken from me and all I could do to get her back was follow the instructions her puppeteer gave. It toyed with me and I couldn't do anything.

I used to love the dark side of the Moon because I could never see it. Now I love it because I don't have to.

On the next max curse week, we need to bring Lord Shaxx and/or Petra with us into Mara's Acendent Realm for a visit. All that time brooding alone is bad for her health. At the very least, we should be able to bring that bow that Shaxx got her as a belated Dawning gift, because his enthusiasm and embarrassment were adorable and it would be good for Mara to know that someone other than Petra cares for her as something more than their queen.

Destcember Day #9: Nine

The topic of the Nine can be a touchy subject for some guardians. I mean, they are invisible magical planets that have an unknown amount of power and goals alien to our own. At least with the Hive gods we know we can kill them with enough concentrated firepower. We can't even hurt the Nine unless we are willing to remove all life from the solar system then blow up a few planets.

This especially annoys the Vanguard, the control freaks that they are. If the strategy of "throw teams of six at a problem until it stops breathing" followed by "steal everything shiny that's not nailed down" fails to resolve the issue, then they try to use bureaucracy. They try to keep us from associating too much with them. "Don't talk about classified information around Xur or the Emissary" this and "Don't trust trust the Drifter" that. I'm pretty sure they are the ones who got the Trials shut down too, but that's a conspiracy theory at best. Not that it matters anyway, considering they're probably omniscient.

Personally, I think that having them around is in our best interest. Aside from the fact that I support peace and friendship with anyone not actively trying to murder us at this point, from a utilitarian perspective, they need us more than we need them. If we die, they die. If they die, nothing happens to us. Of course, they are working on that and I wish them the best of luck, but for now our interests are required to align. And considering every other species that we've encountered has actively tried to murder us all upon first contact, that makes us practically best friends.

Destcember Day #2: A Glimmer of Hope

In a cluttered study tucked away deep in the Last City, an exo bangs his head on the table. The slight force imbalances several stacks of notes and books, sending a cascade of work into the floor. Nearby, a ghost floats, watching with mild amusement. Still with their head down, the exo mutters to his ghost.

"Yew, do we have any more ideas on how to break the curse on the Dreaming City."

"Well, there was the one about singlehandedly killing Dûl Incaru while empowered with a massive quantity of Light."

"Didn't we decide not to try because it was likely a trap or trick to waste our time in addition to being nearly impossible?"

"Yes, but I only mention it because someone reportedly just did it. It apparently took weeks of constant work and preparation. Quite impressive."

The exo's head shoots up in surprise, looking hopefully at his ghost.

"Really?! Did it work? Please tell me it did"

"No. Furthermore, there seem to be reports from guardians about hearing strange laughter and experiencing memory loss following the attempt."

Wordlessly, the exo stands and walks to one of the many displays flowing through the room. While the rest are cluttered with notes, this one has just two words and numerous tallies. One side reads "Guardians" and lies empty. The other side reads "Savathûn" and has far too many tallies for comfort. With a sigh, he adds one more to the count. The ghost snickers.

Destcember Day 27: Voices In My Head

There are a quite a few voices in my head. Most of them are my fault and can be suppressed. The whispers of worms, ahamkara, my conscience. All have easy solutions, but there is one that I can hardly hear. It whispers, quietly but insistently, in the very back part of my mind. I can almost never hear it, like a fly in another room. It gets quiter the further away from the City I get, but I know it's still there. But sometimes, when I die or am in the very center of the City, I can just make out the voice. It whisper so many things. PROTECT THEM. FIGHT FOR ME. GROW STRONGER. DON'T QUESTION. FORGET. OBEY. It isn't like the other voices either. They all seem to come from without, but this one emanates from within. Is it why I can't remember my past? I don't think that I should ask anyone about this.