You Have To Make It Homoerotic And Weird

Can we and by that I mean can trans allies stop assuming people’s transition goals please???

My trans to do list looks like 1) get hairier 2) dress like I’m in a fantasy cartoon 3) sleep in grey sweatpants and no shirt on. Enough with the fitness advice.

i think the reason why the assassination of Julius Caesar is one of the funniest political assassinations is for this very simple reason:

1 guy stabs 1 guy: not funny. that's murder.

2 guys stab 1 guy: even less funny. that's two against one.

60 guys stab 1 guy: uproariously funny. why do you need so many guys.

Today I made up sad edits of sharks in my head WHY YOU ASK BECAUSE OF A WRITING PROJECT MY FRIEND TOLD ME WASN'T THAT GOOD it was. It was that good and that sad. She told me there was a fix it fic in her computer where they just ate poutine and it made me cry harder

for you and your warped reflection

So writers joke a lot about "drinking the tears of our readers", but I want to be so honest with you when I tell you that making you cry isn't our real goal. Making you feel is.

Kicking your feet? Giggling? Can't stop smiling? And yes, crying? Feeling anything, everything. That's our goal. That means we did The Job.

What I say in my paper : this is an oversimplification that could almost be considered incorrect because of the lack of sources and hard evidence but it allows for a succinct explanation and a clearer point

What I mean : my mom is going to read this and if you’re making me write out the actual explanation for this you’ll be the one picking up the phone when she doesn’t understand

There should be a fanfic writing game called the showrunners challenge where someone writes a story and partway through someone else can play things like "actor leaves after 4000 more words" or "topic now too politically sensitive due to unforeseen world events" or "lost rights to that reference"

College : don't worry this is going to be so easy just follow the class schedule

The class schedule : so here's a list of dates with titles attached to them. Some dates have hours. Most don't. No title matches any of the classes on the official sheet. Each class could be on any of the three different campuses and 5 partner institutions that work with the college. There are also secret classes that weren't mentioned in this email. FOLLOW MEEEEEEE!!

Had a lack-of-soup induced panic attack now I worship the gods of old

love the scene in book 3 of the iliad where helen and priam are looking out over the battlefield and priam asks helen who that short king breasting boobily across the battlefield is