"Transmascs Are 3 Months Away From Becoming Detrans Terfs" And Then All The Posts About Transmascs Are

It is so annoying when people respond to "the queer community has an anti-masc problem" with "well society loves and praises masculinity!" Okay... yes... but that's not what we're talking about 😭 The queer community ≠ society as a whole. Also? The society that praises masculinity does NOT praise queer masculinity. Cishet society does not praise butches, masculine trans people, or anyone who is masc in a queer way. And unfortunately, many queer people have this same problem.

someone will say “JK Rowling doesn’t affect trans men” and then you look at their blog and they’re not even british like cool so you have no idea what it’s actually like to live in this country as a trans person and your opinion means nothing to me

I notice that I‘m scared to even speak about this issue sometimes. I feel like a coward. Idk what to do about it, because I can’t just keep quiet when I hear people just straight up deny transmasc oppression. But I already know their reaction. They will not take me seriously. They will twist my words. They will double down and ignore the evidence. Even when I show them literal statistics of SA in transmascs, somehow that doesn’t matter.

Taught to diminish ourselves as little girls, taught to diminish ourselves as trans people, when will trans men be allowed to speak for ourselves. To tell our own stories.

5.) If your Tumblr feed is more queer focused then you will see forcefemme content everywhere with multiple dedicated blogs pushing their kink content onto otherwise SFW posts, which,

A.) is not very consensual of them when I was under the impression that even force femme ought to involve consent in the same way that CNC is CONSENSUAL non-consent and not just sexual assault for funsies

B.) if trans mascs started doing the above with trans masc we would be fucking DOGPILED

I can't take the whole discourse around people going "forcefem is better than forcemasc because it's subversive! People who like forced masculinization are just STEALING from forcefem!" seriously because of these 4 points:

1. Forcefem started with cis men who enjoy being feminized as a from of humiliation, and they make up the majority of practitioners today. Yes, it's also really important to the transfem kink community and it brings many people gender euphoria, so that's great! But... you really can't steal a kink. There's no kink plagiarism. You're not getting kicked out of Kink University for enjoying similar themes.

2. It's not your business what other trans adults do in the bedroom/kink spaces. What causes dysphoria for you might make someone else euphoric. Don't yuck my yum or whatever. Just block the tag if you don't like it, we're all grownups here. I have both tags blocked bc they make me dysphoric, but you don't see me throwing a tantrum about it.

3. Imagine doing this with any other kink.

"Spanking is better than waxplay because it's subversive! You candle-lovers are doing painplay all wrong!"

"Bondage with handcuffs is way better than bondage with ropes, because when you use handcuffs you're RECLAIMING that from cops! Rope bunnies are just coping because their kink doesn't mean anything!"

4. The people who spend all their time arguing online about kink discourse probably aren't getting laid, anyway.

So it's really not as pertinent to their lives as they think it is.

i think words like transandrophobia and transmisogyny are useful in theory, but in practice they drive division and end up harmful to the wider trans struggle. (explanation in simple words at the bottom)

i think it can be useful to have words to describe different flavors of discrimination we face depending on how we are percieved by society. the problem occurs when these words stop being treated as descriptors, and instead get used as labels.

i'm sure you've seen the TMA/TME discourse. TMA = transmisogyny affected, TME = transmisogyny exempt. in practice, these terms are used as "trans women and fems" (TMA) and "everyone else who is trans" (TME). there's a few problems i have with this.

first, as a transneutral person, i would be labeled TME. but the group of drunk dudes who chased me down screaming that i'll never be a real woman, they don't care about that. they see me, a trans person, they assign their own interpretation to my gender presentation, and decide to intimidate me based on their interpretation. i have faced transmisogyny many times, despite some tumblr users insisting i am exempt from it.

second, it puts people back into a rigid binary. as a nonbinary person, i'm well aware of how restrictive and oppressive binaries are, and this one is not any different. even if it's repackaged as trans-friendly, it still denies many people the entirety of their experience and only allows a little, specific part of it.

and third, i simply do not think that any of us in this community are exempt from transmisogyny. in my experience the difference between experiencing transmisogyny or transandrophobia is what the other person percieves me as. if you really wanted to call someone exempt, make it cis people - but also keep in mind that not all of them are. think GNC people, butches, drag queens, the list goes on. i find it difficult to call these people exempt, even if they aren't trans. and i acknowledge that if you're read most of the time as your binary gender (as in you pass, but i strongly dislike that word), you will face much more of one flavor of opression than the other. but taking the experience of only binary trans people who are read as their gender and calling it universal is incredibly exorsexist. most of us will have experienced both.

all these flavors of discrimination, transmisogyny, transandrophobia, even exorsexism and intersexism, it all stems from the same narrow bioessentialist understanding of sex and gender as strictly binary.

in conclusion, i think words like transmisogyny and transandrophobia can be useful to describe experiences with different flavors of anti-trans bigotry. however some people have started treating them as a strict binary of affected-exempt, and that is not rooted in reality or helpful. i'm inclined to say at this point, these terms create infighting instead of being helpful, and make us forget that the root cause of all the discrimination we face is the same.

explanation in simple words: transandrophobia (discrimination against masculine transness) and transmisogyny (discrimination against feminine transness) can be useful words to describe own experiences. but some people use these words to divide trans community into boxes. i think that is not good. it makes us forget we all want to fight transphobia. makes us fight each other instead, and that is not helpful.

Look i don’t know where i personally stand on wether transandrophobia is a good useful term or not. But i’ve learned more valuable information about trans men/mascs (that was delivered in a genuine and kind manner) from people who use that term, than i ever have from people who despise the use of transandrophobia.

Hell i’m starting to get to a point where (even though i don’t know how to feel about the etimology) folks that hate it are getting a tentative red flag, because none of them seem to be able to be normal about trans masculine people.

Seriously if yalls first reaction to a trans masc mildly disagreeing with you or having a different interpretation about something is to immediately be a transphobic bully to all trans mascs then you are just kind of an asshole, regardless of if you’re “technically” right about the hill you’re willing to drag all of us through the mud on.

I want to be politically informed and educated but I also wanna have a good day and be in a good mood. Do you see my problem?

Please stop forgetting nonbinary people!

Theyfab isn't a transmasc-specific slur. It's always been used against any nonbinary person assumed to be AFAB.

Though the AGAB of nonbinary people is nobody's business in the first place, it bears repeating that not every AFAB nonbinary person is transmasculine, just as not every AMAB nonbinary person is transfeminine.

These bigots aren't just transphobic towards trans men/mascs, they're exorsexist as well. We'll be stronger if we stick up for each other and push back against them together!

"Trans men don't suffer as much because they're always forgotten and erased. So they don't have it as bad" I mean can you really argue that we are forgotten when you actively push us out of conversations and tell us we don't matter? Do we really not have it as bad, or do you just turn the other way when we are raped, beaten, brutalized, and murdered? Why is it always framed in a passive way, that we are just erased as if by accident, when we are scrubbed from history? Buried entirely or otherwise portrayed as women?

Why is our erasure discussed like there's nothing to be done about it, when all it takes to change that is to start listening to us?