TW: Brief Mention Of SA And Physical Assault

This is the most in-your-face sign i have ever received in my time devoting myself to the Gods. I’ve gone to school here for two years, never have i seen any birds sit on that building (i’m a big bird watcher on campus), let alone like 30 giant vultures.

I see you Ares!! Our Gods are good :)

very close to giving up. i feel like i need to go back to the damn ward. i hate that this is my life, and that none of it gets to be easy.

i am tired.

writer in the dark & liability -lorde

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i miss you. i love you. i want you here and it hurts that you aren't.

it’s been two already, i wish i could hate him. i wish i could cry or do anything other than thwart the urges to find him and beg for him back in my life. he was bad to me, for so long. why can’t i hate him?

Jane Grealy 1. Puppy with Stick, 2021 2. Legs, 2021

call me crazy but i think nightly hypnotherapy might actually be helping?? like i notice i just wake up sm more pleasant when i do it vs when i don’t?? do i actually go find a real hypnotherapist now??

written with the panicked cadence of Siken in mind. he gets me.

I know I don't talk much about my practice or worship much here as this blog is mostly just mental illness venting in a prettier format, but today I feel connected to my gods and that is a wonderful thing. To be able to hear the existentialism lectures in my philosophy class and know that I no longer can buy into such a way of thinking is lovely. I sit there like "this is interesting n all but my gods are here! I am not some abandoned spec of dust in this big universe!!"

So here is a digital thank you to my gods, for many things that I will never be able to adequately explain and express.

having trauma flashbacks when my bf is sleeping next to me is the worst. like i want to wake him up so i can be held but also he is baby and needs to be sleeping???

womp womp :(