If What’s Happening Is What I Think Is Happening I Will Literally Just Lose My MIND.

very close to giving up. i feel like i need to go back to the damn ward. i hate that this is my life, and that none of it gets to be easy.

i am tired.

there is nothing better than praying to my Gods. i thank them nearly every day but i want to especially thank them for the blessings and grace they have extended towards my life. may my prayers continue to be heard, and may they bless me with this opportunity tomorrow. i’m nervous, but i know that everything that happens does so for a reason.

blessed be everyone <3

Gabriel or Lucifer, the sinner or the saint, Heaven or Hell?

the 7 of cups.

Gods please guide me, i pray for divine judgement, i pray for peace. I pray to stop being a horrible person.

this whole being 14 thing is so lame. like girl get a grip that was 5 years ago.

You gave up on me Michael. A naive part of me still believes you’re a short drive away, because I can’t believe you’d just leave without saying goodbye.

what if i like, just started manifesting that he came back? :D

(yes this is about who we all think this is about lmfao, im pathetic and need to speak to my therapist)

the days repeat over and over and over and over and over and over and over and when and over and over and when will this end and over and over and stop please and over and over

back to putting in the hard work, mapped some of my parts!

me yelling “SAFE SPACE!” at myself like i’m a dog i’m trying to crate train. it works tho, this emdr shit rocks

school and life is so draining, i just don’t even have the energy to write out my emotions. i’m just sick of being borderline and of being tied to [REDACTED] in this way. all i can do is keep praying and doing what i can, and maybe eventually through those i’ll get out of this damn labyrinth of suffering.