kinda tired fighting for a life i don’t even want
i also miss this girl who i loved with my absolute everything i had in me but i can’t ever write about her, the loss is too much, the gap between us feels too big,, i don’t know where to start with her- i never did. but Gods above that doesn’t mean that i don’t miss her often. i tried reaching out first but idk, don’t have the confidence to try again. i got angry with her recently due to my idiot boyfriend not explaining a situation well, and i always having a worse bark than my bite.
she was more than all the moons and stars in the universe, how could i ever not miss her? my absolute other half, twin flame, soulmate, my person.
Gabriel or Lucifer, the sinner or the saint, Heaven or Hell?
the 7 of cups.
Gods please guide me, i pray for divine judgement, i pray for peace. I pray to stop being a horrible person.
sometimes i worry that people think i’m a furry for all of the dog imagery. it’s more about how bpd makes you feel subhuman, that it rots your brain and turns you into some wild animal. not that being a furry wouldn’t be dope as fuck, but that’s not me i’m just mentally ill and like symbolism.
i think my tumblr is scientific evidence for bpd mood swings
being “considerate of your bpd” my ASS, no improvement whatsoever, no regard for changing plans multiple times,, he just doesn’t fucking care it’s ridiculous like dez literally thinks we might have to break up and i’m thinking she could be right
I will be like "I'm fine" and then another fucking event will occur
The whole, "K*lling urself is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" bullshit is spouted by the ignorant lucky ones who have only had temporary problems. Some people's problems are permanent so maybe try offering actual help and support to them rather than regurgitating an overused phrase that means nothing to people with real struggles.
✩ 21 ✩ bpd, bipolar, & cptsd diagnosed ✩ helpol ✩ “Freedom is a length of rope. God wants you to hang yourself with it.”
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