I’m Going To Make A Life For Myself, A Home Full Of Pets And Plants, Everything I Love. I Deserve To

TW // eating.. issues.

freaking out cause im having pizza on the beach w/ my partner tmr and i was gonna fast but ive already agreed and i need to be all self-care-y for them :/

Ddsjdkfhsjs ahsdfjk hhhjsdf !!!

Here to make you smile

I need johnlock ao3 recs so if you have or know fics with one of the following hmu: (10k+ words preferred but tbh I don't mind too much)

mutual pining - friends to lovers - fake dating au - coffee shop au - preferably pre-s4 until I rewatch - really soft or angsty smut - friends with benefits to lovers - miscommunication - LONG ASS SLOW BURN - being scared to admit feelings - one bed 👁 - stripper au - the longer the fic is the better - did I mention slow burn

also

if any of you were on Wattpad circa 2014/2015 and remember the name of that fic where Sherlock and John text each other by accident as strangers or whatever and end up in love (I think this also had a trailer on YouTube and poss some drama tbh lol) PLEASE hit me up bc I wanna reread it

thanks gang ily!

Posting on my various sideblogs bc they get more traffic than this one for a shred of validation >>>

the stomach-churning, gut-twisting feeling when someone is upset with you and you don't know why but everything feels all wrong and you can't breathe

Honestly Janet is such a mood even without the meme but this just makes it better 😂

I made this instead of studying

16th century ring that unfolds into an astronomical sphere

The Mentally Ill Checklist of Why Do I Feel Bad

1. Look at your pill organizer. Did you take last night’s pills? That’s why.

2. Did you get a full night’s sleep last night? No. That’s why. Get some melatonin and Sleepytime Tea and knock yourself out. A 90 minute nap will unfuck you. 

3. Did you eat? That’s why. Carbs even me out the quickest, then I eat something with fiber and protein. Ideally I also eat a fruit or vegetable. 

4. Has your behavior seemed more disordered lately? Time to call your med doctor. You might need a lithium level or a med adjustment.

5. Have you been dealing with more stress or overworking at school or work? That’s why. Work on a list of coping mechanisms during this time. Breathing, self care, cooking meals, full nights sleep, media distractions, venting to a friend, group therapy or support groups, mindful meditation, grounding exercises. Take a ten minute break to sit in the hallway outside your workstation and relax your breathing. Don’t self judge. It’s going to be okay.

6. Do you have a uterus? Has it been 25-35 days? That’s why. 

7. Have you been consuming an unusual amount of caffeine, sugar, drugs, or alcohol? That’s why.

8. Have you noticed psychotic symptoms getting worse? For me, this means obsessing over my zodiac, the radio, spotify playlists, and social media for hidden signs. It’s referential delusions. When things start to feel too “spooky”, I challenge those thoughts by asking how logical they are. 

9. Have you made yourself unhappy by looking at your triggers? That’s why. Self control is an art form.

10. Are you judging yourself for your coping mechanisms? We’re all out here trying to survive. Unhealthy coping mechanisms are coping mechanism that are hurting you. Excessive use of coping mechanisms is what is bad. Spending A LITTLE money or eating A LITTLE junk food or having ONE DRINK is okay. You don’t have to call yourself fat as some sort of self shaming ritual every time you relapse and eat some Doritos. Even if you’re already fat. You gotta say to yourself “Is this that dangerous? Is this becoming a bad habit? Is this a big deal?” If not, do you what you need to do. 

11. Are you ruminating a lot before bed and during your idle time? Ask yourself “Is this thought helping me or ruining my mood?” Allow yourself a little time, but too much world-building or catastrophizing or fetishizing the past is bad. Recognize when you’re doing it.

12. Have you felt unloved or ignored by your friends? Reach out to them yourself. Call in your B list friends if you need to. Yeah we all have those friends, and they might be happy to hear from you. Worst case scenario, call the Suicide Hotline. 

13. Are you spending a lot of time hating on other people or fixating on conflicts in your personal life? Is this actually helping you? Release that anger. Find a way to channel it into something. Angrily walk around the block. Rage clean your house. There is a recycling plant in my town that has a big glass bottle sorting area. Throwing glass as hard as I can into a big pit? Bliss. 

14. Spend your money on something healthy instead of the BS. I love spending money on dumb shit and I will buy the whole mall if the check allows it. But my car needed front wheels. And gas. And I needed to mealprep. My cat needed vitamins. I need Therapy to keep myself healthy. Even putting a chapstick in your car when you constantly need it and forget to get one will elevate your life. Where are you spending that money? What’s going to protect you? 

15. Are you feeling disconnected from the world and other people? Go to the library, turn off your phone, and just look around. Let it be a quiet time. 

(okay to reblog and add your own)

i wonder how much of those around me would recognise me if i had no face or physical form ,,if i were nothing more than a disembodied spirit ?

could they put a name to my not-face ?