A Haiku For You.

Slow.

I'm guilty of being slow to realize things. Sometimes when I do come to a realization, feelings have already been hurt or things are then out of my control. I go through life trying to be good as I can, trying to bring happiness to as many people as I can. But the truth is there are going to be people that you hurt, whether it is intentional or not. And as much as you try to fix it, some things just can't be fixed. Some things you will just learn to live with. Some things you sleep and forget about the next day.

Bridges.

"It takes both sides to build a bridge." But does it only take one side to burn it down?

Sorry.

I'm one of those people that is guilty for over-apologizing. "Sorry, I'm in your way." "Sorry, you dropped that because I distracted you." Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. To me, a sorry doesn't cost a lot and is something I don't mind giving out. However, there comes a time when you realize that the word "sorry" doesn't solve everything and that the other person truly doesn't deserve that word. Instead, I end up feeling sorry still for the other person, who is unable to see their mistakes and move past it. Just because I won't apologize doesn't mean I'm still lingering over it. Often, it means I don't care. If I've moved past it, what's keeping you from doing so at all? And so I end up feeling sorry after all. Oh, the irony.

Thousands of Times.

I think you’ve crossed my minds thousands of times today. I won’t say millions because I try my best not to think of you. It’s like my security blanket got ripped away. From spending all day talking with you, knowing everything about you, what you’re doing, what you’re feeling... to nothing.

I guess we’re strangers now.

All that’s left is just a feeling of loneliness.

Of extreme sadness.

Who do I turn to now?

So delicious.

Uncontrollable.

There are just certain aspects in your life that you simply can't control. You can't really control who walks into your life, and sometimes you can't control who walks out of your life. Unexpected events that can occur can break your normal routine as well. Some of these events can turn into blessings while some other events are still taking time for recovery. Emotions. Sometimes it's hard to control them as well. You get angry, you get sad, you are elated, you're in love. So many emotions come and go repeatedly throughout our lives. Hopefully someday we'll have it all figured out. Until then, I'll stumble and fall as I find my way. Bruises and nightblindness and all.

Nostalgic.

Today was meant to be a happy day - a day that symbolized me getting back on my feet after a struggling emotionally and physically these past few years. I was so excited about today that I couldn’t fall asleep. With my busy lifestyle, not immediately falling asleep as soon as I lay down in bed is an indicator that something is up. 

But today finally came. I officially started a new chapter in my life. However, it also made me reminisce on the past. The lifestyle I had, the friends I kept close... So much has changed. Nothing particularly bad had happened, just time. Time changes everything. Everyone has their own lives to live, their own paths to follow. And sometimes, it just means our paths don’t cross anymore, and we are meant to go about that path alone now. Or at least until we come across an opportunity to make new friends.

But still, I’m missing some of my good friends today. We all still talk, but it isn’t the same. To my friends: I miss each and every one of you, and I hope you’re all doing well. I hope we all get a chance to reconnect soon. 

Talking to Strangers.

It's been about a week since I've gotten back to reality. While on my trip, I met some very kind strangers. It was my first trip on my own, and I relied heavily on Google, Yelp, and the kindness of strangers. Some of these strangers led me to the most amazing sites I would never had stumbled across if I continued to blindly follow my tourist map. Some of these strangers also informed me about the most delicious, low down places to eat as well. The thing about trips is that they get your mind off of the stress back home. One thing I didn't expect was to help a stranger relieve some of his current stress since he was at home, not on a trip like me. That moment when what I said turned on the lightbulb in his own thoughts. I could see it not only all over his face, but in his eyes as well. He also started to cry. He then exclaimed, "how is it that a young girl like you could realize all that now when it's taken me almost a lifetime to realize what you just told me?" That thought resonated with me. I don't think it's fair to say I picked up on some life thought easier than he did. I just think everyone has their own experiences and will naturally have different life lessons that come on their own schedule. So the moral of this long story? Don't be afraid to talk to all strangers. You never know who will help you or who you can help in return.

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Patience.

"Patience is a virtue." Easier said than done. There are always moments when you get frustrated from waiting, whether it's waiting in line at the grocery store or waiting for a text from that special someone. Sometimes it feels easier to just give up and start afresh. But wait if you had just waited out a little longer? What if you missed out on the opportunity of a lifetime? What if not waiting was going to be one of the biggest regrets in your life? But what if it's time to move on? Where is the line between stubborn and stupidity? Ah, the never ending questions in my head.