Latest Posts by rat-bitch-kins-the-fae - Page 7

“We’re born alone and we die alone” you were born alone? Your mom wasn’t there?

You can identify a fake redneck by their passionate support of “blue lives matter.” Real rednecks have been in at least one physical fight and/or high-speed chase with police officers and would do it again

Reblog for sample size and also tell me why in the tags. I want violence. I want discourse. I want bloodshed

Can you tell this dub was recorded in South Carolina, and in 1995?

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

WHO IS USING THIS

AN APP??? THEY HAVE A FUNCTIONING WEBSITE

THE LAST FUNCTIONING WEBSITE

I’m in Poland and they keep showing this pizza advert and it’s amazing.

It starts off with rival pizza makers who argue over who has the best pizza and are driving the customers away

Then there’s this crazy old lady who yells at them from a window to quit it (because where else do you yell business advice from?)

So they work together and do some obvious flirting via pizza montage

And the old lady is all like “just kiss already”

Then they create a pizza together, combine restaurants and live happily ever after with the crazy window lady

i’ve been writing for almost my whole life and i gotta tell you. if i only stuck with the stories people “wanted” to read, or wrote the things i thought other people would like, i would have quit ten years ago. go make some self-indulgent nonsense your soul will thank you for it

I want to see a work of fiction that reverses the "vampires are snobby upper class, werewolves are brutish lower class" stereotypes

the problem with having a decade old tumblr blog is that there are posts on it from a decade ago

can someone please be proud of me like fuck I’m trying

I love when singers think maybe their song requires a little prerequisite information so they just cover it real fast so everyone’s on the same page. I love that TLC opens No Scrubs quickly reviewing exactly what a scrub is and when ABBA was like “just in case you didn’t know, famed 19th century militant ruler Napoleon Bonaparte was defeated in the battle of Waterloo. We though perhaps not everyone would know that. Alright, so moving on to my love life, which is similar to that actually,”

i deliver pizzas & sometimes funny things happen

what is it they put in the hardware store to make it smell so good

i think everyone deserves a large rock a short distance from their home. i dont like that discussions about walkable cities never include plans to allow wider access to large rocks. the people need large rock

picture this, i give you a glass bottle and tell you to open it, but bottle openers are forbidden, how do you do it?

STOP saying u cant draw something u can literally draw whatever U want. I wanna draw a horse, BAM drew a horse. I wanna draw two ppl kissing BAM drew two ppl kissing. I am God of mine own hands and I will create

it sucks so bad that 'lightning magic' in every media is just some pathetic little strands of electricity. i wanna see some LIGHTNING. show me a magic setting where lightning magic lights up a room like the sun, and the bolt is only visible as an afterimage burned into your vision. I wanna see someone cast lightning and have the thunder rattling the room and shaking everyone to their core. i want lightning magic to be a split second blast of so much power it leaves everyone's senses reeling. c'mon guys don't you know what real lightning looks like? we can be doing so much better than this.

this is so haunting to me i think about it weekly

they don't want you to know this but being weird and staying silly really helps you feel young forever

my absolute favorite joke to make is saying "sorry, I got hungry" whenever someone loses something

People are so stupid about snakes. If there's a little black racer chilling outside just leave it alone, you don't have to kill it, it's probably dealing with all your pests for you, jesus christ

Fun fact. Nothing can stop you from finding the oldest art your friend has ever made on their blog and reblogging it.

nobuddy feels like they have a sharp attention span these days, right? and we all just click “agree on terms of service” because its hard to love yourself sometimes, well

enter Terms of Service, Didn’t Read: a website and a browser addon that streamlines the terms of service of many popular web services to be read by the tech sunday drivers.

It’s graded from A (great) to E (awful) and if you have the addon you have access to the info about the website on your bar

obsessed with mass market paperbacks. their pleasing rectangular proportions. how they fit badly in a hoodie pocket so you can drag them around everywhere with you like a temporary little buddy. the way they fit in your hand because they're MADE for human hands and not as bookshelf decoration. the way the pages feel when you riffle them gently with your thumb. How pristine and crisp they look when you get them and how creased and folded they look when you're done, even if you try to be nice to them. how that wear is okay, how that's correct actually, because they're made with the philosophy that books aren't meant to be PRETTY, they're meant to be read. that little ripple new ones get on the left side from where you hold them when you're reading, the way the ripple only goes as far as you've read, because u change stories by reading as they are changing you. how you can find thousands of these creased and folded and loved little dudes in every thrift store and used book shop and neighborhood library and you can instantly see the ones that someone carried around in a backpack for weeks or read to pieces or gave up on halfway through because they wear being read like fresh snow wears footprints. I love these poorly made, subpar little rectangles so much. truly the people's books.