Twice now, Ralsei pulls Kris aside and asks them to think about what Susie’s doing.
People have theorized this is to “get alone time away from the Player”, but I think he actually does this because he’s trying to communicate something about Susie to Kris.
“Astral Projection”?
Both Kris and Ralsei act like they’re viewing/have viewed Susie’s scenes.
In Chapter 2, Ralsei is alright with Kris not viewing Susie’s scene if they’re not interested.
If doing the Snowgrave route, Kris will skip Susie’s scene by themself, and Ralsei, after initially being flustered, will say, “As long as Susie’s happy”.
So that’s why - what?
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The newest post on my blog discusses five books that I think are essential to helping writers grow. They break the craft apart in easy-to-read ways. You'll treat yourself to funny lessons and entertaining perspectives while strengthening your ability to write captivating stories.
Check out the post here!
Is it actually possible for people to respect the idea that I’m just not personally impressed with Berdly as a person right now?
I’m not a fan of how he interrupts Noelle constantly, how he spent most of chapter 2 putting Kris and Susie down and call them stupid to their faces, just to turn around and relationship-zone Susie after she turns out to be cool, trying to get her alone constantly and then trick her into giving him a kiss.
He’s going to have to treat Kris, Noelle, and Susie with some actual, non-crush-related respect, as people, before I’m going to consider liking him. That doesn’t mean I want him dead or don’t acknowledge that he values Noelle.
This is not a character everyone has to like or it’s immoral somehow or you get to call them stupid for not liking him. Stop sending me fanboy asks trying to covert me Green Eggs and Ham style.
What part of “there’s nothing wrong with him, he’s just annoying” makes people think harassing them into liking him is okay?
Recently reread the scene where we see Yoo Joonghyuk's interaction with Jang Hayoung for the first time and?? Holy shit?? Like, there's literally no other explanation. This man is jealous Kim Dokja made friends and plans with someone who wasn't him.
Like yes, Jang Hayoung pissed him off with her way of speaking immediately, but there have been ruder people. Why was it on sight for her? Why is he so sour over them just chatting? Kim Dokja is like "Hey look! Isn't this guy super useful (for us)?" and Yoo Joonghyuk is like "I'm better than this jerk." Jesus christ.
Okay, by now you've nailed down how you want your plot, characters, and worldbuilding to be. If you haven't by now, it's a good time to format your document into manuscript format if you plan to move forward to publish in any form.
When it comes to structure, what you're really focusing on is readability. If the format of your book is a slog to get through, if your paragraphs are too long or your sentences are all the same. This will lose readers otherwise in love with your plot.
Dialogue heavy scenes are very fun to write, but pages of dialogue with no action can also be exhausting. Break up your dialogue heavy scenes with actions and descriptions. How does the character's body language reflect their feelings on the discussion? Can you give them a task (picking a lock, chopping onions) that allow you to add to the scene (fumbling when frustrated, dicing harder when angry)?
One mistake (that I've made plenty of times) is to have characters doing things for the sake of doing them. But this is an opportunity to add details that add to your plot (the normally awful cafeteria green beans are delicious, a clue to solving the murder!), character (an alien crewmember is trying to copy human expressions to seem more personable, but his many teeth just freak people out), and world-building and setting (Laura is ranting about her ex, but Tara is distracted by how soulless her rich mother's house seems).
Are your scenes running too long? Do they start in the wrong place? (Two paragraphs on making coffee instead of "She was making coffee when George burst in.") Tightening up your scenes will do a great deal to make your book better.
This is easy advice to give and harder to picture doing, I've found. Everything often feels essential to a scene. Try to tackle scenes with the following questions:
What is the point of the scene? (George tells Susan his wife left him for Keanu Reeves.)
Where does the action start? (When George burst through the door without knocking.)
What is the goal of the scene? (Susan starts to suspect George of murdering his wife.)
Where does the action end? (George leaves.)
Where should the scene end? - This answer depends entirely on what you need to happen next. Maybe you have another page and a half of Susan musing about her suspicions right there in the kitchen. But maybe this will be more impactful in the next scene, where Susan is snooping in the garden and happens to find something George's wife would never leave behind.
Pull back and look at your pages. Are all the paragraphs the same length? Do you fall into using the same pattern of sentences over and over? (Guilty) Have you used the same word four times in a single paragraph to describe something? (Double guilty) Break those chunks up, what for those repeat words, and vary your sentences. This is going to help so much with issues you weren't aware of.
There are many ways to do chapters, but you want to keep an eye out for chapters that are going too long (giving your reader a visual break of a chapter ending can help shift the setting and tone) or too short (have you accomplished everything you need?) This is not a knock on either structure done on purpose - this is to catch something you may have overlooked.
When it comes to word count, industry standards are always a good baseline to go with. Your audience often approaches a genre with certain expectations, and while you can make a doorstopper of a romance, you will find more readers by sticking to the 80-100k range.
Have you guys ever noticed that all of Kim Rok Soo’s abilities that are revealed are related to time?
Record: Allows KRS to have perfect recollection of the past
Instant: Being able to move beyond human limitations in the present
I wonder if his other abilities are also related to time. Maybe he has one that is related to the future.
I think my favorite part about the whole Toriel confronting Kris about the pie scene in the beginning of chapter 2, is that fact that Toriel isn’t the least bit concerned that Kris just owns a knife for personal use. She’s just like “ah yes my child’s knife that they keep around” which tells me that Kris has probably never once actually used the knife to be violent towards others or hurt themselves. They just like that knife and carry it around for pie eating purposes.
Aerokinesis -manipulate the air, wind, and gas.
Aeroportation - teleport using air/wind currents.
Air Mimicry - transform into a cloud of gas, fog, or mist.
Atmokinesis - manipulate the weather by mixing water, fire, earth, air, and lightning/electricity.
Deoxygenation - suck up all the oxygen from a place.
Lung Adaptation - breath anywhere
Wind Generation - create blasts of air.
Divine Winds Manipulation - create and control heavenly winds.
Dark Wind Manipulation - create and control eerie winds.
Geokinesis - control, manipulate, and reshape the earth at will.
Atmokinesis - control and manipulate the weather by mixing water, fire, earth, air, and lightning/electricity.
Crystallokinesis - manipulate minerals and crystals.
Ferrokinesis… manipulate metal at will.
Fraxikinesis - manipulate burnt matter.
Geo-Thermokinesis - manipulate, control, and create lava, magma and volcanoes.
Golem Creation - make golems out of inanimate materials like rocks, wood, plants, magma, etc.
Granulation… can turn things into sand.
Halokinesis - control and manipulate salt.
Hyalokinesis - control and manipulate glass.
Koniokinesis - manipulate and control dust particles.
Plassikinesis - manipulate and control all forms of plastic.
Psammokinesis - can control and manipulate sand.
Terrakinesis - control, manipulate and alter/reshape the surrounding terrain and landscape at will.
Terraportation - teleport via the earth and earth-based materials.
Sacred Earth Manipulation - Create, manipulate, control, reshape divine earth minerals.
Black Earth Manipulation - Create, manipulate and control tainted and evil earth minerals.
Pyrokinesis - create, control and manipulate fire, flame and heat.
Atmokinesis - control and manipulate the weather by mixing water, fire, earth, air, and lightning/electricity.
Fire Breath - breathe out flames.
Geo-Thermokinesis - manipulate lava, magma and volcanoes.
Heliokinesis - manipulate and control the sun and sunlight.
Hell-Fire Manipulation - Generate and control flames of hell.
Holy Fire Manipulation - Generate and control flames of Heaven.
Inflammation - burn things.
Melting - heat molecules to melt things.
Plasmakinesis - can control plasma.
Pyrotechnics - create fireworks.
Self-Detonation - explode self and reform.
Thermokinesis - create, control and manipulate heat.
Hydrokinesis - manipulate and control liquid water and mold it into any desired shape or form.
Aquatic Adaptation - adapted to underwater living.
Aquatic Respiration - breathe underwater.
Atmokinesis- control and manipulate the various aspects of the weather by mixing water, fire, earth, air, and lightning/electricity.
Dehydration - absorb water.
Hydroportation - teleport across short or long distances through liquid water.
Water Mimicry - turn into liquid water.
Holy Water Manipulation - create, manipulate and control graceful waters.
Dark Water Manipulation - create, manipulate and control evil and dangerous waters.
Umbrakinesis - can manipulate and control darkness or shadows.
Animated Shadow - Animate one’s shadow.
Light Absorption - block out light in an area.
Night Vision - see in the dark.
Sacred Darkness - create holy darkness.
Shadow Camouflage - be unseen in shadows.
Shadow Mimicry - become a shadow.
Umbrageous Teleportation - teleport via the shadows and darkness.
Quintessence Force -Can generate whitish-blue lightning that also contains pure life energy.
Electrokinesis - control, generate or absorb electric fields and shoot lightning bolts.
Activation & Deactivation - turn stuff on and off.
Positron Manipulation - control positrons, the antimatter counterpart to electrons.
Electrical Absorption - absorb electricity.
Electric Mimicry -transform entire body into a lightning-like being of pure electrical energy
Electrical Transportation - teleport with lightning.
Divine Lightning Manipulation - create and control the brightest lightning.
Black Lightning Manipulation - create and control the darkest lightning.
Dynamokinesis - manipulate existing energy.
Energy Blast - create blasts of energy.
Energy Emission - release energy.
Quintessence Force - create and manipulate unique form of electrical and life energy.
Mana Manipulation
Chi Manipulation
Electricity Manipulation
Energy Manipulation
Cryokinesis - control ice, snow and other forms of frozen water.
Freeze Breath - freeze things in solid ice.
Freezing - lower the temperature in kinetic atoms to freezing temperatures.
Frigokinesis - control snow either as precipitation or already on the ground.
Ice Beam - shoot beams of freezing energy.
Ice Generation
Dark Light Manipulation - create the darkest light in existence.
White Light Manipulation- create sacred light from the divine.
Photokinesis - create and manipulate pure light.
Force-Field Generation - create protective shields of solid photons.
Invisibility - be unseen.
Laser Emission - bend light wavelengths to create lasers.
Light Absorption -absorb the light around you.
Light Generation - emit blinding light or glow in the dark.
Light Mimicry - take on the traits of light.
Photoportation - Teleport by using photons.
Projective Invisibility - turn other things invisible.
Evil Banish - Rid and banish all spirits of evil and black magic.
Light Manipulation
Atmokinesis - manipulate the various aspects of the weather by using water, fire, earth, air, and lightning/electricity.
Atmokinetic Resistance - immunity to all weather-based abilities and effects.
Atmokinetic Sensing - sense the future weather patterns.
Aether Manipulation
Cosmic Manipulation
Gravity Manipulation
Nether Manipulation
Space-Time Manipulation
From Superpower Wikia. See their complete list of superpowers HERE.
school dance au! everything’s the same except there’s a school dance! also ralsei’s there lol
The Power of Silence in Dialogue
We often think of dialogue as something that’s just about what characters say, but let’s talk about what they don’t say. Silence can be one of the most powerful tools in your writing toolbox. Here’s why:
When characters leave things unsaid, it adds layers to their interactions. Silence can create a tension that’s so thick you could cut it with a knife. It shows things are happening beneath the surface—the real conversation is happening in what’s left unspoken.
“So, you’re leaving, huh?” He didn’t look up from the table, his fingers tracing the rim of his glass, slow and deliberate. “Yeah.” “Guess I should’ve expected this.” (Silence.) “You’re not mad?” “I’m not mad,” she said, but the way her voice broke was louder than anything she'd said all night.
Sometimes silence can heighten the drama, creating a pause where the reader feels like something big is about to happen. You don’t always need words to convey that sense of dread or anticipation.
They stood there, side by side, staring at the door that had just closed behind him. “You should’ve stopped him.” She didn’t answer. “You should’ve said something.” The room felt colder. “I couldn’t.” (Silence.)
Sometimes, saying nothing can have the biggest emotional punch. Silence gives the reader a chance to interpret the scene, to sit with the feelings that aren’t being voiced.
He opened the letter and read it. And then, without saying a word, he folded it back up and placed it in the drawer. His fingers lingered on the wood for a long time before he closed it slowly, too slowly. “Are you okay?” He didn’t answer.
Silence isn’t just a pause between dialogue—it’s a powerful tool for deepening emotional tension, building anticipation, and revealing character. Next time you write a scene, ask yourself: what isn’t being said? And how can that silence say more than the words ever could?
Incorporating the seasons into my stories is enjoyable. Not only are seasons a relatable life experience, but passage of time can be tricky to portray without them. The best part about adding the seasons to a story is that they have strong potential to aid the plot.
CLOTHING; if I walk this path in winter, I have to wear huge boots that can handle slick mud. If I walk it in summer, the dead grass scratches my bare legs because now I am wearing shorts.
EXTREME TEMPERATURE; whatever we do today it better be indoors and out of this heat wave/blizzard. If the battle/heist/romance/etc. takes place in this weather, there will be consequences!
CHARACTER MOOD; autumn is Character A's favorite time of year! they gain a positive, upbeat attitude as soon as they see signs of autumn. Character B feels dread and becomes easily agitated during autumn. The two of them clash more in autumn than any other season.
EVENTS; holidays aside, some seasons may be busier for one character than another. I had a weekend job during summers and was rarely available. Weddings are most common in spring. Community events that affect traffic, shops, or social atmosphere can occur at any time of year.
TRANSPORTATION; some parts of the world rely on different transport for different seasons. A bicycle when it is temperate, a bus or train when it is miserable. A car for dry weather is replaced with a car outfitted for inclement weather. A regular trip to the grocery store may even need to be cancelled completely. And don't forget air and water travel!
HISTORY/TRAUMA; certain seasons in your story may be marked by pain. This is the season the war took many lives. This is the month unforgettable tragedy occurred. The upcoming season marks the anniversary of a huge mistake we'd all like to forget. Social and personal customs will reflect this memorial.
FOOD; in the modern-day US we are used to most foods being available year-round. This is not the case globally or historically. Seasons can be marked by what foods are or aren't available. This can include meat, produce, and dairy, but it can also extend to dishes and meals.
RESOURCES; like food, weather and climate affect access to many things your characters may need. Washed out roads halt shipments, but heavy rain is good for crops. Intense heat can damage perishable supplies, but dries out firewood fast. Natural disasters halt production while simultaneously increasing demand. Even a weather event in another hemisphere can affect your character's resources.
Whenever you think "How do I portray the changing seasons?" pay attention to the changes you have to make each season. Places you go, your personal habits, the items you carry with you, the events you prepare for, and all of these real-life details affect YOUR "plot" every day. Consider which ones would affect your characters, and use them to both set the scene and move the story along.
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✩ This was written in response/addition to @writingquestionsanswered post Incorporating Seasons Into a Story. Please see their post for other important tips!
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