cw: smau, established relationship, super short, ableism mentioned in one singular text message
a/n
yes i know this is so so so short
did this at 12 am on a school night sigh
yuji my babyy ughh 💓💓💓💗💗💝💝💝
first smau
saiki k mentioned?!
hatsune miku mentioned?!
choso kamo mentioned?!
dividers by @.cafekitsune @.saradika-graphics
Finished Haikyuu holy PEAK
ive been neglecting unrequited terrifying hopefully i can finish writing it and editing it this week hopefully
hi im screaming and clawing my eyes out
ADMIRING FROM AFAR
pairing : choso kamo x f!reader summary : suddenly the quiet, alternative looking guy catches your eye in class and you're unable to shake the idea of him. from afar, you start to create a fantasy of what he might be like — and eventually your imagination has made up a character you slowly find yourself falling for cw : university au, non-curse/modern au, fluff, pining, pierced and tattooed!choso, smoking, one mention of a party, yuki cameo, terrible ending bc i suck at writing endings, no use of y/n word count : 3.6k
Hallway crush!Choso who didn’t stick out to you until you were halfway through the semester, on a random Tuesday.
The only reason he caught your attention in the first place was because he actually raised his hand to answer the professor’s question, something he had never done before, or since.
His husky, yet surprisingly soft voice, broke the deafening silence that came after the question was asked. Nearly in a trance, your head shot up to get a look of the mysterious guy.
Never had you been more thankful for the mandatory core courses you were forced to sign up for — you would never have encountered him otherwise.
Sitting two rows in front of you and five seats to the left, you weren’t able to get a clear view of the guy. However, what you did see, did not disappoint. Tufts of black hair was tied up in two buns, and silver jewlery decorated his ear. He was wearing all black, shy lines of ink peaking up the neck of his shirt and past his sleeves.
From that moment, you were hooked on the idea of this stranger.
Hallway crush!Choso who you spotted nearly daily now that you were aware of his existence.
You had an assignment due in one week, so you decided to go to the library to actually get some work done for once.
Three hours into your study session, you had to exhale deeply as your motivation was running low. So you let your eyes roam the peaceful scenery of fellow students, some more dutiful than others — when you suddenly spot the mystery guy from class, sitting with three other people.
He looked so casual, leaned back in his chair, arms loosely crossed across his chest as a chuckle played on his lips as a response to something the person sitting next to him said.
Now that you had the opportunity to get a proper look at him, you noticed how extremely good looking he was — the type of breathtakingly handsome that hid in plain sight by how he never tried to stick out whatsoever.
For the next hour, you would subtly shoot glances in his direction. In all honesty, you felt somewhat embarrassed by how you found yourself a little infatuated by a guy you didn’t even know the name of.
All of a sudden he raised from his chair, having you straighten your posture. He pulled his leather jacket over his shoulders, his bag across his chest and put his headset on — with a smile and a nod, he begged his friends goodbye and left.
Hallway crush!Choso who, despite having his small group of friends, tended to stick mostly to himself.
Yeah, he sat with his little crew for a few hours, but he always left before the rest of them. Not to mention you often spotted him walking from one class to another in his lonesome.
On the days the library was absolutely packed, and it was impossible for you and your friends to find any available seats, you would sit down at one of the sofa groups in one of the university’s many long hallways. None of you complained either, as there wasn’t the same pressure to remain quiet.
It just so happened that the man who had captured your interest, walked right past your designated spot at least three times every week.
His headset was on like always, walking with easy determination. He simply seemed to mind his own business as he smoothly made his way through the hallway without bumping into anyone.
Your attraction to the dark and handsome stranger wasn’t as subtle as you first had thought, when it didn’t take your friends more than a day to notice your admiring gazes hanging onto him for the few seconds it took for him to walk by.
“Who’s that?” Your friend asked with a playful lilt to her voice, leaning forward and placing her chin in the palm of her hand.
“Hm? Just someone in my social science class,” you answered nonchalantly with a shrug just as he was out of sight.
“Just someone in your social science class,” she repeated mockingly. “And what’s his name?”
Hot embarrassment raised up your neck, “I don’t know,” your voice weak as their teasing chuckles filled the space.
“So you’re just ogling a stranger, essentially?”
“Shut up, he’s hot,” you fired back as you fell back in your chair, desperately trying to ignore their laughter.
Hallway crush!Choso who only continued to remain a mystery as the weeks went on.
It quickly evolved into somewhat of an inside joke — a game almost, all of you pitching in with silly little ideas of what he might be like.
“He looks like a cat person,” your friend whispered as he walked by.
“Oh, no doubt,” you agreed, eyes glued on his back. “Probably grew up with a family cat that always sleeps at the foot of his bed.”
“You think he greets the cat before his family?” She giggled.
You laughed along as you slowly shook your head no. “Don’t think so. He greets his mom first,” you turned your attention to your notebook, your pen drawing mindless doodles across the pages. “He’s a mama’s boy. But not in a weird way, you know? But in a green flag way.”
They would all laugh along to the daily chatter that filled the group before turning back to their own work, forgetting all about him until he would walk by again.
You, however, couldn’t shake him from your mind quite as easily.
The more they fuelled your fantasy with their fun and innocent ideas of who he might be, you fell deeper into the spiral of your crush.
When left alone with your own mind, your imagination went beyond the small quirks your group came up with — you started to imagine meet-cutes.
What if you “randomly” bumped into him at the little coffee shop just off campus?
What if you were paired up for a group assignment?
What if you ended up next to each other in the kitchen at some random frat party, and the conversation would just flow so naturally?
However, you kept those made up scenarios to yourself, because it was too shameful to admit to your friends that you were slowly falling for the person you had made him out to be — still without a name to put to the face.
Hallway crush!Choso who broke your heart just a little, though totally unaware of the fact.
“I didn’t know your man had a girlfriend.” You shot your friend a confused expression before following her gaze.
That was a first. You had never seen him walking down the hallway accompanied by someone. Let alone a tall, blonde and absolutely gorgeous girl, pure confidence running through every fibre of her body.
After that, you saw just the two of them more often than you liked. And you knew it was absolutely ridiculous to even be bothered by the pair, but you couldn’t control how the lump in your stomach formed at the sight of how well they seemed to fit together.
Her look wasn’t quite as edgy as his, but they definitely had the same vibe. Not to mention they seemed to be close, evident by how she always leaned in and grabbed onto his upper arm when he made her laugh, or how just the two of them would leave their study session in the library to share a cigarette.
You hoped seeing them together would eventually kill the proximity crush your brain had stupidly nourished — it turned out to be the opposite.
Watching him interact with her only granted your imagination new material to build on. Whenever she spoke, he had all his attention directed at her — genuinely listening to every word she said. You watched how he was gentle with her, careful not to be too harsh in his movements whenever he made contact with her.
He just seemed like such a good guy, who made your heart beat a little faster every time you saw him.
Hallway crush!Choso who one day actually did crash into you in the line in the cafeteria.
At first you thought you were dreaming, because the scene played out exactly how you had imagined it so many times in your head.
It was lunchtime, meaning the cafeteria was obviously packed. You were blissfully unaware of his presence behind you, having stayed up a little too late the night before to try to get some understanding of the material you had been assigned.
It wasn’t until a random bystander bullied their way through the crowd in the opposite direction, causing him to stumble forward into you and he quickly uttered a polite apology, that you realised exactly who it was.
Strong hands had grabbed onto your arms to help steady you. When you turned to face him, you wished you were able to utter your own apology — however, the words never made their way past your tongue, too startled at the sudden close interaction.
“People really don’t look where they’re going, huh?” he said, a shy curve to his lips as he let go of you.
“That’s people for you,” you tried to joke once you found your words again.
Your heart was beating a million miles an hour as you watched his eyebrows narrow. “Hey, don’t we have social science together?”
He recognised you.
You cleared your throat and nodded weakly, trying to serve him a sweet smile but you could feel the waver in it.
“I’m Choso, by the way,” he smiled casually, stuffing his hands in his pockets.
Once again you tried to smile, but your lips only managed to pull into a thin line as you introduced yourself.
You expected that to be the end of the conversation, that he would pull out his phone in an effort to smoothly round it off without it being too awkward for either of you — but to your surprise, you saw him contemplate his options before opening his mouth again.
“How’s the assignment going?”
“Well,” you started, hoping he didn’t notice the little crack in your voice. “The words are, at the very least, being put on paper, if that tells you anything.”
He chuckled.
You made him chuckle. It was low and coarse, but a chuckle nonetheless. “Sounds familiar.”
He continued to keep the chatter light as you moved along with the queue, completely oblivious of the effect he had on you.
It wasn’t much, but just based on the little interaction, he seemed even more lovely than you had imagined, which only did more damage to your already smitten heart. Because being effortlessly attentive when listening and engaging in the conversation though he didn’t need to, only brought a piece of reality into your fantasy.
Your palms were turning clammy as your heart was pounding against your chest so loud you were sure he heard it. He was, after all, standing closer than one normally would a stranger due to the thick crowd of hungry students surrounding you.
“Well,” he sighed once you’d both paid and stepped into the hallway. “I need to get going. But it was nice to finally meet you for real.”
Finally.
Nice to finally meet you.
“Yeah, you too,” your lips twitching in a smile, heat travelling to wash over your face. You had always thought him to be so incredibly handsome, but you had underestimated how charming his smile was up close.
“I’ll see you around.” The curve of his lips continued to linger as he backed away before he eventually turned his back towards you and removed his headphones from around his neck to put them on.
Hallway crush!Choso who slowly started to gain the title of acquaintance after the reenactment of one of your made up scenarios.
It started very casual — he would greet you with a quiet “good morning” as he walked past you in the auditorium before taking his usual seat two rows in front of you.
“Morning,” you smiled in return while he held your gaze for a little while.
Waking up the days you knew you had class with Choso became a little easier when you knew what friendly routine was waiting for you.
After three weeks of the innocent interaction, he decided to disrupt the comfortable pattern you had fallen into. This Tuesday morning, he didn’t continue walking down the stairs after wishing you a good morning.
No, he stopped dead in his tracks, pointing at the empty seat beside you. “Is this seat taken?”
You swallowed the lump in your throat, and shook your head. “No. No, all yours,” you stuttered as you moved your bag for him to sit down.
He uttered a weak “thanks,” and made himself comfortable, pulling out his leather bound notebook and pen.
Hallway crush!Choso who turned out to be a lot funnier than you had first imagined.
Too caught up in the potential romantic gestures that entertained the depths of your mind, you found yourself so giddy whenever he whispered a silly joke during class for your ears only.
Hallway crush!Choso who accompanied you for the few minutes it took for you to walk to your friends after class finished.
“I’m headed in that direction anyways, so I’ll just tag along.” You’d be a fool to decline his offer, cutely biting your bottom lip and clutching your laptop closer to your chest, feeling like a love struck teenager.
When coming around the corner, you avoided looking in the direction of your friends at all costs. You knew you wouldn’t be able to suppress the embarrassment that would flush your face if you witnessed their shocked expressions as a reaction to walking alongside the guy you had fawned over for months.
It wasn’t until he was out of sight that you spun around — sure enough, they all sported exactly the facial expression you had expected, staring wide eyed with their jaws slacked.
“Okay? Something you forgot to tell us, babe?” One of your friends gushed once you had taken your seat. You shrugged innocently, trying not to let all your excitement spill over at once.
“Hope you at least know the name of your stranger now,” the one sitting opposite you teased.
You nodded slowly, “Choso,” you answered simply, enjoying the interrogating looks they were giving you.
“And? Give us the details!” All three of them had pushed their school work aside — this was ten times more important after all.
So you began to explain of the happy accident that had taken place a few weeks ago, and it had eventually ended with the two of you always sitting next to each other during lectures — none of them failed to match your energy.
“Wait, but I thought he had a girlfriend?”
And as easy as that, your girly and romantic fantasy shattered into a million pieces. Guilt was written all over your friend’s face as one could literally see the realisation dawning on you.
Having lived in the pure bliss of your new friendship, you had completely forgotten about the goddess he was so often seen with.
You started to reflect over the fact that you couldn’t remember seeing her in a while, and felt sick that you might have been too wrapped up in Choso that you just hadn’t noticed her recently.
Thus your excitement was short-lived, not ever wanting to be that girl.
Hallway crush!Choso who noticed how your mood was drastically different than normal the next time he met you.
He had looked forward to seeing that sweet smile tug at your lips when he wished you good morning, but instead he was met with a cold “hi”. You didn’t even turn to look at him.
Had he done something to upset you? The last time he saw you, nothing seemed to be off. You were your chipper self, greeting him with a curve to your lips so wide, your eyes would crinkle.
Class started, and you had yet not said another word to him. He shot you a glance, seeing your fingers hurriedly travel across the keyboard of your laptop, and every once in a while letting your eyes flicker up to look at the professor.
Maybe it was just a bad day. Maybe you had an exam in a different course that was causing you unnecessary stress.
Or maybe, god forbid, you’d come to the conclusion that Choso wasn’t someone you wanted to waste your attention on after all.
Hallway crush!Choso who decided to walk you out of the auditorium, despite your cold front trying to push him away.
It was awkward — incredibly awkward, a feeling that really hadn’t been present in the newly blossomed friendship. Still with no words exchanged, you packed your stuff and pulled out your phone.
Once outside of the auditorium, Choso wanted to try and start a conversation to try and disclose whether he’d done something or not. He only managed to catch your eyes when calling your name before a bolting figure came crashing into his side.
“There you are! You’re an impossible man to catch these days,” the girl exclaimed.
Choso saw the discomfort that subtly traveled down your face, awkwardly shifting your weight from one foot to another.
“I’ll see you around, Choso,” you said shyly, about to turn around and walk away before the blonde captured your attention.
“Wait, is this the girl you’ve been talking about?” You quickly spun back around, eyebrows pinched together in confusion as the blonde girl had peaked your interest.
Switching your attention to Choso for a second, you noticed how dusty pink had coloured his pale cheeks, his eyes wider than you’d ever seen them.
“It might be,” he said before clearing his throat and rolling his shoulders, hoping you didn’t notice the stress that was residing in his body.
“Finally,” she groaned, her hand shooting forward to initiate a handshake. “I’ve been wanting to meet you for a while. I’m Yuki.”
You still weren’t able to completely put the pieces together yet, blinking at her as you accepted her hand and introduced yourself.
“Oh, I know,” she mused, flashing you a cheeky grin. “This one right here,” patting a flat hand against his chest, “doesn’t really stop talking about you.”
A shy smile spread across your lips as you quickly shifted your gaze to him. “You’ve been talking about me?” You spoke softly.
“Well-” he stuttered, the pink quickly deepening into red.
A teasing scoff shot past her teeth. “Isn’t he cute when he gets shy,” she said as Choso’s shoulders grew stiff under her embrace. “You have that effect on him.”
When the opportunity to properly observe the dynamic between the pair in front of you, as well as digest the things Yuki was actually telling you, the pieces finally fell into place — they were just friends.
You had worried and spiralled for no reason, having spent the days since you had last seen him to prepare you to distance yourself from him.
But one look at his embarrassed face and tense body as a result of being teased about you, had all the butterflies come swarming back within seconds.
Choso kept most of his attention on Yuki as she went on to ask him what she’d initially come to talk to him about, but he couldn’t stop himself from letting his eyes dart over to you every once in a while.
“My god, you’re my saviour,” Yuki gushed at her friend, tugging playfully at his arm, before turning back toward you. “He’s truly a catch,” she said with a wink as she slowly started to back away. It had you grow a little restless, knowing you would soon find yourself standing alone with him. “Be good to him. And it was great to finally meet you!”
And she was off.
Slowly Choso turned his entire body towards you, his face having done the impossible and gotten even more red.
“What an interesting interaction,” you breathed.
A nervous chuckle slipped out of him in an attempt to remove the immense pressure that was looming over him. “She’s really something.”
“What was that part about me making you shy?” Tucking your bottom lip between your teeth.
“I mean-“ he cleared his throat. “I guess you’re seeing it in action right now.”
“Hm,” you said simply, causing him to narrow his eyebrows in response — both in confusion and slight worry.
“Hm what?” Swallowing the lump in his throat.
“It’s cute.”
Then he couldn’t stop smiling.
Boyfriend!Choso who managed to live up to every bit of your love dazed fantasy.
At times, you were scared you had let your fantasy go to far — that in your desperate hope for something more, you had created a character that no living person would ever be able to live up to.
Yet here Choso was, in the flesh, embodying every scenario you had made up when you had been tossing and turning on sleepless nights, and then some.
Small or big, he never disappointed.
He held the door open for you, he remembered your coffee order, he showered you with compliments and admiration.
It didn’t take long for him to learn how you yearned for grand gestures — so Choso made it a mission to fulfill those dreams.
Not only did he succeed, but he excelled well beyond your expectations.
He made sure to take you on dates frequently, but also spontaneously so you wouldn’t see them coming. He managed to make every occasion feel planned and intentional.
Boyfriend!Choso who was absolutely baffled once you told him about how you had admired him so intensely before you ever talked to each other.
The confession caught him completely by surprise, because he couldn’t in his wildest dreams have imagined you even noticed him before the little episode in the cafeteria.
Boyfriend!Choso who despite succeeding in making you his girlfriend, got just as shy about you now as he did then.
tags : @sad-darksoul
an : i hope it's a universal experience to create proximity crush that drives you crazy... dividers by @/strangergraphics comments and reblogs is much appreciated
©hiraethwrote 2025 . all rights reserved. reposting, translating and otherwise plagarisim is prohibited
thank you so much for the tag. i love you.
tagging: anyone who'd like to join!
what color is your aura?
no pressure tags: @thekinslayed @connorsui @sarahsangelicdoll @rafeysbangs @angelspitxx @wicked-barbie @deadonyouraccount @rafescorpsebride
THANK YOU I HATE THIS GUY WITH ALL OF MY HEART
do you think he deserves to burn
yes
summary: he loved you so much he allowed you to let him go.
contents: jjk as angst tropes series: choso kamo, choso x f!reader, established relationship, not canon so no spoilers cz i realized its called fanFICTION so i can create whatever i want, forbidden romance, choso dies cz of reader, fluff at the beginning, angst cz who wouldve guessed, also written badly
word count: ≈1.9k
The moon generously illuminated the darkness of the abandoned building. It was just like the way you knew it. You memorized every curve of it, how the light would hit each spot, the way the debris stacked on top of each other–and where you would see him standing there, waiting for you.
It started when you two both approached each other, thinking you guys were the same species. He thought you were a curse, and you thought he was a sorcerer. It caused you two to share the struggles you both had, and unbeknownst to both of you, it was similar struggles. It caused mutual pining that you both could only entertain.
You both found out when you first met him in your jujutsu uniform, and he saw the badge that you had. It was a shocking sight to see, but Choso had gently held your hand, calming you down once you found out he was a curse.
Now, you were meeting up with him secretly once again.
“Hello,” you giggled, your shoulders rising up and failing to keep your bubbly attitude hidden. You took your hat off, bringing your mask under your chin.
“Hello, darling,” he walked up to you, his eyes glued to your face. Stepping in front of you, he brought his free hand up to your face and tucked a hair behind your ear. “You look… as beautiful as last time,”
A sound of laughter bubbled up your throat, leaning into his hand. Choso held your hand, guiding you to the usual spot you guys would sit in that faced the moonlight. Ever since finding out about the opportunity of meeting you secretly, Choso had cleaned up a spot that the moonlight focused on, adding a carpet there and occasionally, candles. It was a spot where you two could lean against the wall, cuddling each other and forgetting the world really existed.
“A movie?” Choso asked softly.
“Yeah! I watched one with a friend today!”
Choso laughed, watching as you used your whole body to reenact the scenes and the story–he thought it was enchanting
“You think… we could watch a movie someday?” he asked sincerely, his gaze on you.
You sighed, squeezing his hand softly and leaning back onto him. “...Someday, Choso.” “You think that day will come?” He whispered, his tone vulnerable.
“One day, Choso. I’ll take you everywhere–the park, the mall, amusement parks–oh! We could go to festivals! Tokyo holds them all the time,” you chuckled, hoping to shift his mood into a more cheerful one. Your smile only got wider when you saw his cheeks rising at the grin painted across his face.
“And our wedding?” He teased, bringing your hand up and kissing the back of it.
“I already have plans,” you nuzzled your nose against his, a second of silence passing before you guys erupted in laughter.
It was an endearing sight. You two laughing at each other's shenanigans, acting like you were two highschoolers on a date–nothing else mattered.
Time eventually caught up, and it was time to leave.
“Next week, same time?” He asked, his voice hopeful even though he already knew your answer.
“Always.”
~~~
“You want me to… what?”
Yaga raised an eyebrow at your question, putting his clipboard down and looking at you.
“We can’t afford to keep any Cursed Womb alive. Choso Kamo is a liability, and for all we know, he could be getting even stronger as we speak.”
Clenching your fists, your chest rose up and down in an uneven pattern, and sweat was prickling at the sides of your head.
“But the others are dead? How powerful is Choso alone–,”
“His powers are much stronger due to his cursed energy. There’s no doubt that he’d be giving you guys a hard time on your missions, and we aren’t going to risk it.” His answer was so certain, so sure that you shook. You shook, because none of it was sinking in. Every atom of your body denied it–Choso dying? Because of you?
Yaga noticed your silence, and he sighed. Grabbing his clipboard again and standing up, he spoke.
“If you think the mission’s too much for you, then I can assign it to another student.”
Your head snapped up at him. No–no one else could kill him. No one else should kill Choso–Choso shouldn’t even be killed! Choso was human–you know it. You’d know all of it. How he made you feel more human than the jujutsu society ever had, that he’d shared your feelings and troubles and love and affection–
But, if you didn’t take it, then someone else would. If you didn’t kill him, he’d die anyway. If he didn’t die by your hands… someone’s bound to give him a painful death. Someone else is going to cause him harm in his last moments. And you’d miss it all.
The thought of it made your head throb. Your pulse raced enough for you to hear it in your ears. You were anxious about him getting hurt–being shown no mercy before his death when it was all he deserved. Mercy.
“I… I’ll take it.”
This way, you can ensure he has a quick, painless death.
Yaga hummed, nodding in satisfaction. “Very well then, the deadline is next week.”
~~~
This mission was easy. Physically. And you hated it. You hated it because it was as easy as depending on your love for each other to meet with him and only take advantage of it. You came here early this time, wanting to be the first one to see Choso… and the last time you would.
“Hey,” he arrived, beaming. And the sight hurt. Tonight, you had to carry his blood. A rope in your chest tightened, and your breath staggered.
“I… got you something. You like roses, right?” He revealed a rose from behind his back, holding it out to you both proudly and timidly.
Your eyes went wide. The crimson rose would soon be the color spreading throughout Choso’s fabric, because of you. Taking the rose felt like a lie. Rejecting it would betray you. Choso always did small and cute things like this. For you.
Choso noticed your intense gaze at the rose, as if you’d just seen something you shouldn’t have. Your uncharacteristic mannerisms–hands shaking, frozen in spot, completely mute–it worried him.
“Hey, are you okay? You’re not usually this quiet… Did you have a rough mission?”
A rough mission? You almost scoffed, but when he brought his hand up to your cheek, you hesitated. For a split second, you almost recoiled, backed away. The gentleness of his touch would hurt too much right now. You didn’t mean to, but when your gaze flickered up to Choso’s, his anguished expression only increased your regret.
Choso noticed the weight on your shoulders. He noticed that there was pressure on you, and you couldn’t fight against it. He knew there was something you had to say, or something you had to do… and he knew you couldn’t tell him it. With the way a lump in your throat was forming and causing you to stay silent, he speaks.
“If… there’s anything you need to say or do, do it right now, my love.”
His sweet words combined with his tender actions–it broke you. Tears finally started flooding out, and your voice hiccupped quietly in your throat. Your hesitation said everything–you were shaking, crying–you silently begged him to say something different.
But he was steady. Calm. Almost too calm. Because how could he, who was absolutely ignorant about the situation, not knowing that you were about to end his life, still be so kind as he pulled you into a hug that you so desperately needed? Choso was giving you space to choose–no, space to do it. And you knew you had to, because if you didn’t, it’d end up much worse for him.
“Don’t–no, please–I can’t, Choso–,” you begged the world.
“My love,” he says firmly, not wavering from his point. “I trust you.”
And it felt like your breaking point. It felt like everything inside you snapped–your heart, your tears–and your muscles moved without thought.
Before you knew it, your weapon was buried deep inside of Choso’s stomach. Blood emanated from where the knife was hidden, and Choso collapsed onto you.
“No!” You caught him, his blood slowly dripping from his clothes down to your hands.
The way his eyes went wide broke your heart, and even with your sudden betrayal he was still holding onto you for dear life. How could you? How could you?
Choso still somehow found the courage to chuckle even at a time like this, while blood was dripping from the corners of his lips. “This… wasn’t what I was expecting.”
“No, no! Choso!” You brought him to your chest, begging the universe to go back in time–you’d refuse the mission, refuse to end Choso and run away with him instead–so why’d that only occur now? When he was slowly losing life right in front of you?
“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…” your tears mixed with the blood that was staining his clothes, yet the knife was still in him. Your betrayal was still in him. And it slowly spilled throughout his body–yet his love was still greater.
‘Hey, hey, my love. Listen to me–,”
“No, I’m so sorry–I shouldn’t have done this–I should’ve just–,”
“Y/N.”
You opened your eyes and looked at him through tears. How was he comforting you? When you ended his life? He had dreams, struggles, passions, and someone he loved.
“Yes…?” You whispered, your eyes closing the moment his hand gently brushed your cheek.
“Don’t let them paint you the monster, my love,” he smiled–the one you loved. “I know you chose to save me one last time. I would’ve chosen you out of everyone else to be the one to end me.”
But you were a monster. But you were someone who deserves nothing of his gentle love. Someone who was deemed a murderer–yet all he gave in his last moments was gentle love.
“I love you, my love,” he smiled. “Say it back one last time, yeah?”
You tried your best to scoff, trying to match his eerily lighthearted mood as you kissed his forehead. “I love you too, Choso.”
The two of you closed your eyes, pressing your foreheads together–in hopes for you to give him the life he deserves and the one you don’t. When you felt his hand slip from your cheek, you quickly caught it and tried to savour the last bits of warmth in it, convincing yourself he was just unconscious. You felt the smear of cold blood from the wind–only to remind you that it was his blood.
You were broken. You felt nothing but misery. The air you were breathing, the eyes that you were using to cry tears you felt like you didn’t deserve to let out, how your muscles contracted as you sobbed–it should’ve belonged to Choso. The Choso who never had the chance to live out any of his dreams. The Choso who never had the privileges you had growing up–it should’ve belonged to him. Not you. You felt like you should’ve been the one to take the dagger instead, and even then–you’d still paint yourself the monster. Because now, that’s all you saw of yourself.
oookay i kNOWWW this was kinda fast paced but i try my best to keep this series under 2k words sooooo it kinda ended up that way... i wish i couldve expanded more on this but oh! well! too! bad! (sobbing) ANYWAYS thisssss lowkey hurt me–i dealt with what felt like ages and ages of writers block and had to force this out of my system and somehow was able to produce something decently satisfying in the end soooo i hope i broke yall :)
(imma be honest w yall tho the original ending was to make the reader end herself in the end too but i thought maybe that’s too much…)
hope you all enjoyed *✧・゚: *✧・゚: !!! - ying ☆
“ill watch your lie in april in april so its fitting!” i lie to myself as i rewatch saiki k
ᥙᥒrᥱ𝗊ᥙі𝗍ᥱძ, 𝗍ᥱrrі𝖿ᥡіᥒg.
choso has watched you jump from boyfriend to boyfriend, and always noticed that after each one you.. lost yourself a little. having his heart ache for you since childhood, he's determined to make you stop... but reveals his own feelings in the middle.
series m.list
sfw! - angst + fluff
ch.1 - dont you dare look at me that way
ch.2 - he's so perfect, blah blah blah
ch.3 - an arrow through my heart
ch.4 - at least just let me say
ch.5- don't you feel it too?
ch.6- confess i loved you from the start
-epilogue-
m.list dividers by @.enchanthings-a
-> based on the song "from the start" by laufey!
taglist: open!
all works belong to me. do not reupload or translate without permission.
locking in (royale high musical chairs)
3 assignments due tomorrow! i just started! month long project due next week and im barely done! and im also sick!