Jason: *walks Into Living Room And Pauses, Looking At Tim* Uh Tim: *frowns As He Looks Up From A Book*

What if: the Gotei 13 offers Ichigo the creation and captaincy of the Fourteenth Division?

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4]

Pinglist: @queen-sands​

Notes: Literally no plot happens here whoops.

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What if: Both Ichigo and Urahara were booted back in time in the Swinging Pendulum universe?

Notes: Idk if I’ll continue this later (once those later SP canon parts are written). But I was in an UraIchi mood, and I’ve been trying to write some more of SP so here’s hoping this helps me get past that writer’s block.

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I'm just so here for Bucky and Steve drifting into each other's orbit without noticing, like they're just making breakfast and next minute they're basically sitting on top of each other eating it. Or when they come home from a mission, relaxing on the couch watching a movie turns into cuddling and snuggles so subtly they have no idea when it happened. How did Bucky's hand get on Steve's butt? Was it always there? Probably. The team is so used to it, but the media isn't. They weren't prepared.

Can you imagine this happening while the Avengers are giving a home interview for the latest and greatest magazine? XD

Bucky and Steve start out on opposite ends of the couch, discreetly exiled apart by the rest of the team because they all know. But the Avengers, they’re a pretty active gang. 

Tony likes to stand and pace while he makes his grand speeches. Clint prefers a higher, distant vantage point and gives most of the interview from the top of the entertainment center. Natasha has to take an official call halfway through the interview.

The whole time, as one person leaves the couch, Steve scoots over a little bit. And a little bit. And a little bit more.

Finally, poor Sam is tightly sandwiched between two super soldiers who are trying their damndest to reach through him for each other.

“That’s it!” He says, jumping up, “I can’t take it. Have at it, see if I care.”

“What?” Steve looks wounded. “Sam, what’s wrong?”

Bucky stares at him weirdly and the interviewer blinks, confused. All three of them watch as Sam goes to sit on the other side of the couch, where Steve started out.

After that, the interview continues for a record two minutes before she stops altogether because Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes and Captain Steven Grant Rogers are out and out snuggling on the couch now.

“Um,” she says.

“Ignore it,” Sam advises.

“What?” Tony looks around and then spots the problem. “Oh, yeah, happens all the time. Totally normal.”

“Ignore what?” Steve asks, frowning at them. “What’s normal?”

Bucky’s rubbing his cheek on the top of his hair and one of his hands has snuck dangerously low on Steve’s waist while the other - the flesh one - is playing some sort of game with one of Steve’s hands. Steve’s free hand rests on Bucky’s thigh, definitely higher up than is considered appropriate.

“Nothing,” Sam says gently. He looks at the interviewer. “Next question, please.”

Bucky shakes his head and leans back against the couch, sticking his hand up Steve’s shirt.

“You got some weird friends, Rogers,” he says.

“This is ridiculous,” Clint huffs from his vantage point. “I’m gonna tell them.”

Natasha points a finger at him as she comes back into the room and sits down by Sam. 

“Don’t you dare.”

Dick is kind of a big brother who knows what effect he has on his siblings's friends, and he never misses an opportunity to make himself look even cooler in their eyes. But Jason? Oh, Jason has no idea that people even consider him pretty and interesting.

It pisses his siblings even more.

Jason, on his bike, with the most insane face card: Hey, Replacement, hop on. We have work to do.

Kon, twirling his hair: Is your brother, like... free?

Bernard: Yeah, on Friday

Tim, with his eye twitching: I will kill you.

Jason, absolutely unaware of what is going on: ??? WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO

***

Jon, waving enthusiastically at Jason, who passes by kitchen: Jason is so cool!

Damian: ...

Jon: And kind!

Damian: Calling Todd kind is definitely a choice.

Jon: But he read me a bedtime story the last time I was staying here 😕

Damian, frowning: ...

(Damian, later that day: Why did you read bedtime story to Jon and not me.)

***

Jason: Why Tim's and Damian's friends keep fucking glaring at me? Or stumble when I am around? What tf am I doing wrong?

Dick, trying to hide his laughter: Eh, no idea

Bruce, absentmindedly: I, actually, have the same problem when I am around other people

Alfred, amused: No DNA test required, that's for sure

has this been done already

I just love (thick)Bucky being using any excuse to put his hands on Steve. The Xmas tree is too tall and nobody can decorate the top? ofc he will grab his guy's hips and lift him up so that he can decorate it (plus, he gets to have his face at the same lvl as That Ass). And then ofc when he puts him down he makes sure to rub as much as possible against Steve's back while Tony and Clint have their usual dramatic reaction :')

I have the feeling that if Bucky were eye-level with The Ass, there’d at least be a lot of talk about eating Steve out / enthusiastic rimming and an even more enthusiastic fuck in Steve’s future.

And the rub down when Steve’s being lowered is the filthiest sort of promise. His hands on Steve’s hips, keeping him close even after Steve’s got his own footing, rolling his hips into him nice and easy while whispering something in his ear that makes Steve blush something fierce. 

He’s putty in Bucky’s arms, melting against him. Probably feels so deliciously tiny, Bucky’s broad hands spanning his hips, Bucky wrapped around him like Steve’s still five foot nothing, even though Steve technically has an inch or two on him now.

Clint and Tony are having a breakdown while Rhodey is tucked away in the corner, texting direct quotes to Coulson so that they can use it in their next fanfic.

I know the fandom mostly agrees that Jason is that one always unemployed sibling in the family, but let me offer you a slightly enhanced concept - unemployed sibling Jason, who is the busiest sibling in the family.

No one can get hold of him. Like, ever. And it is not like he is lying, he is genuinely always has something else to do! Something random and unexpected, and, honestly, all his family can think is: what the hell?

Bruce, frowning: Remind me again, why the dinner in the circle of the family today doesn't suit your... schedule?

Jason, shrugging: I have a book club evening in the nursing home. We are discussing Margaret Atwood's Penelopiad tonight. Can't miss it. Also, Jennet-

Alfred, confused: Who is Jennet?

Jason: One of the old ladies in the nursing home, duh... Anyway, yeah, Jennet is having a birthday. She would be hella mad if her favourite grandson missed it, you know?

Bruce: ...Jason, you are not her-

Jason: (leaves)

Dick: Hey, wanna join me for tomorrow morning's training?

Jason, sighs: Sounds nice, but I have classes tomorrow.

Dick, confused: Classes? Since when you are enrolled in college?

Jason: Oh, no. I am a substitute teacher in one of the school's around.

Dick: WHAT-

Damian, calling Jason in the middle of the day: Can you pick me up from school? Others are busy, there is an emergency in the town.

Jason: Damn, sorry, kid, but I am not in the country right now. By the way, do you want to talk with your mother?

Damian: ...What that supposed to mean? Where are you?

Jason: I was planning to visit All-Caste, but first decided to meet up with Talia. I am kinda in Egypt right now, anyway.

Damian: ...

Tim, already used to Jason's constant busy status, sighing: I bet you won't agree if I call you on the lunch tomorrow?

Jason: Uh, no. I have plans. But if you tag along with me, we can get lunch together later.

Tim, surprised: ...Okay. What do you have tomorrow? Knitting club? A shift in library?

Jason: Nah, graduation ceremony.

Tim: Right, you are a substitute teacher.

Jason: No, no. My graduation ceremony. I am getting my PHD in literature.

Tim: SINCE FUCKING WHEN-

Jason’s alcohol tolerance is exactly 0.09%, which Dick knows. Which is the primary reason he roped his siblings into playing a drinking game.

At most, Steph, who likes to think she’s fluent in Jason, — or Batboys with repressed emotions, at least, — anticipated the following:

Angry shouting, maybe some swear words God definetly didn’t approve of, trying to fist fight Alfred’s plants, painting the Batmobile pink, and the works.

She definitely didn’t expect a ruby cheeked Jason to cry in Bruce’s lap.

“What the fuck are we gonna do if we don’t know eachother in the next life, huh?!”

Tim piped up with an a nerdy rant, — technically, if life were to reinvent itself into another existence, it’d simply be an alternative universe being created, — but Jason simply throws his shoe at him.

Bruce, much to Damian’s pride, doesn’t look shaken in the slightest. If he can handle his mother, he can handle everything,

“Sweetheart, I really think that’s not going to happen, thought,” he assures him with gentle conviction.

“But we’re not gonna know eachother! What the FUCK. I want to be your son in every life. I’m gonna kill God.”

“Please don’t kill God.”

“We’re Jewish, what do we care?!”

“Jay,” Bruce promised, “I would find you in every universe.”

That was supposed to make Jason feel better, not make him cry harder. But it’s cute Bruce tried, Dick thinks.

He still grounds all of them for paining the Batmobile, thought.

What do you think that Steve and Bucky do in cannon with the D/S verse when one or the other has a nightmare? Like the nightmares of the shit that really happened. Where they can't say that it was just a dream because it happened. It happened and it's like they're in that moment again. When one of them was dead, then they thought that they were going to die. When everything in the world was crashing down. When it's all too much too fast and they can't get out of their heads?

That really depends on the nightmare!

Like, say for instance that Steve had a nightmare about Bucky falling. He wakes up with so much self-hatred and guilt because he believes it’s all his fault and for a number of reasons.

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the avengers playing "never have I ever" or a similar game, and rhodey goes "never have I ever been handcuffed". predictably, tony, clint and maybe nat put their fingers down, but what no one expected was that steve did too. so tony's all like WOAH WAIT SINCE WHEN WAS CAPTAIN AMERICA HANDCUFFED? :O and then there's this voice from the ceiling that sounds much like bucky's which goes "5 hours ago, stark. right where you're sitting." the entire floor is later scrubbed thoroughly with bleach.

“Never,” Rhodey declares, while staring straight at his best friend, “have I ever let someone handcuff me for any – fun reasons.”

He is still mad at Tony for bringing up the crossdressing incident of ‘03 and so he takes particularly vindictive delight in watching every head turn towards Tony after the statement has been given.

Except – and here’s what makes revenge against Tony Stark unsatisfying – Tony doesn’t even blush. He grins, winks at the onlookers, and tosses back his shot like it’s nothing.

Natasha and Clint both toss back their shots, too, and send each other sly looks. Entirely unsurprising.

And then Steve reaches for his shot and the room goes utterly, utterly still. Rhodey glances at Coulson and Coulson glances back; he can practically see the exclamation points in Coulson’s eyes even though his expression doesn’t shift.

“I’m sorry,” Tony says, because of course it’s him. It always is. “Maybe you didn’t understand, Cap. Rhodey here is talking about –”

“Sex,” Steve interrupts. “I know.”

He takes the shot. Everyone stares.

Steve sets down the glass and looks at everyone looking at him, batting his eyelashes innocently. Even after watching him take that shot, knowing what it meant, nearly everyone in the room buys it.

“We promised, didn’t we?” He asks. “At the beginning. We promised to be honest.”

And although Tony was not the least bit phased by his own sexual exploits being laid bare for the crowd, he’s suddenly flustered and red.

“You let my aunt,” he starts and then abruptly changes direction: “you can’t just tell her secrets like that, Rogers!”

Steve’s lips quirk just the faintest bit and he says, “no, not her. I wouldda let her, though, if she’d asked.”

Everyone stares a bit more.

From the far corner of the room, where he’s been sitting as an observer instead of a participant, Bucky Barnes starts to laugh.

Steve turns to him and his smile becomes so besotted that there’s no question at all about who’s gotten the chance to tie up Captain America.

“Forgot how well that innocent act works on people,” Bucky says to Steve, just as the team starts to react. “Christ, you had ‘em fooled.”

“Best friends, my ass,” Sam grumbles.

“Makes so much sense –”

“I can’t believe I ever thought you were vanilla –”

The words blend together, rising in volume, until there’s no way to tell who’s saying what or what declarations are even being made; it’s all incomprehensible noise. Steve and Bucky just sit there, smiling at each other. 

Rhodey and Coulson fist bump under the table.