I Don’t Like Getting Hatecrimed Over The Phone So When I’m At Work And Old Men Ask If I Have A Husband

at your wifes house rn😏 she hitting me with a broom

i need this

the world’s general intolerance for Mulder is either a devastating plot point or comedy gold

If you ever find a pool of your own blood, please don’t lie down in it! A lot of people are found dead that way.

And they say brunettes with dimples can’t stabilize the reactor core 😏

like, a god of death or whatever, standing on my lawn: you’re about to experience the wrath of a god

me, who was watering my plants and turned at the sound of voice, thereby accidentally spraying them w/ the hose: oh, wow, i’m so sorry dude, shit

L STOP RATIO STOP YOU HAVE TRENCH FOOT STOP YOUR WIFE IS UNFAITHFUL STOP YOUR INFANT SON HAS SUCCUMBED TO TUBERCULOSIS STOP