roachesandroaches

Latest Posts by roachesandroaches

kinda gay for a man to sit with his legs far apart. what is all that space there for? another man?

at your wifes house rn😏 she hitting me with a broom

If I was a wanted criminal in the dark ages, they’d be like “are you William the Wanted?” And I’d be like “nahh I’m Laurence the Lawful” and they’d be like “ohhh okay”

CP COMPANY 1982  IDEAS FROM MASSIMO OSTI

don’t even joke about stealing candy from a baby man. i used to do it constantly but i quit cold turkey *distracted woman on phone pushing a stroller with a baby holding the biggest shiniest rainbow lollipop ever goes by i avert my gaze and clench my jaw*

Deep down we all want to bite someone hard as shit. Jaw power on 100% for like 5 to 8 seconds. Just once.

And they say brunettes with dimples can’t stabilize the reactor core 😏

starting a conspiracy theory that all scientific beliefs were correct at the time they were developed. the earth was the center of the solar system until later it changed and thats why gallileo noticed. you used to be able to cure tuberculosis with mercury and cocaine. subatomic particles didnt act like that until we tried to look at them

i need this

I can fix him [drill sound] [screaming] [chainsaw revving]

L STOP RATIO STOP YOU HAVE TRENCH FOOT STOP YOUR WIFE IS UNFAITHFUL STOP YOUR INFANT SON HAS SUCCUMBED TO TUBERCULOSIS STOP

i don’t like getting hatecrimed over the phone so when i’m at work and old men ask if i have a husband i just say yes and make up a new guy. today someone said “i bet you keep your husband in line with an attitude like that” and i just said “yes he’s so scared of me”

Sorry man i can't hang out today. Yeah i'm being put down. Yeah it's probably gonna be all day. Sorry

They wrote the word gullible on my lung while I was under for surgery :(

walks out of a closet covered in blood with a goofy lovestruck smile on my face

i walk into a room & several people yell "trigger warning: f slur!"