Silly Little Thing For My @steddiebingo Prompt: Nerds | 758 Words | T |

Fanfic so good you gotta stop and scroll on social media to not get overwhelmed

Oh. This is it?

I don’t want to be left behind. Please.

please don’t leave me too.

i dont want to be alone.

After being a superhero for decades and experiencing many awful events, you make a horrifying discovery: you don’t age and will never be able to retire

Dick: You use to be so cute and tiny..

Jason: And you use to be cool. We both changed.

Dick: Wha-?! I'm still cool!!

Jason: Okay, 'officer Grayson'. Cops aren't cool.

Dick: THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO

Jason: STILL FRESH IN MY MIND, PIG!

Dick: LET IT GO!

Jason: NO. YOU WERE THE ONE WHO SAID FUCK THE POLICE! THOSE WERE WORDS I LIVED BY!

Dick: OH MY GOD. YOURE THE ONLY ONE THAT STILL REMEMBERS THAT!

Tim, walking into the living room: I remember it.

Duke, from another room: I heard about it! You've lost 1000 aura man!

Cassandra, poking her head in: I've also heard about it.

Dick: EVERYONE SHUT UP.

Jason: Just like a cop to order people around like that, shameless.

Dick, groans: Fuuuuck-!

Dick: All of you are going to make me age like milk!

Damian, popping up behind him: Is it wrong to say it's too late for that?

Dick, practically shaking: Damian..I swear to God.

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

The Batkids definitely forget that their comms are on and linked up to each other's, which is what leads to instances such as:

Cass humming some song for our twenty minutes, nobody has even thought about interrupting and several Batkids have taken to texting each other

Bruce flirting with Clark

Barbara doing asmr as she works and hacks. It gets slightly more concerning when she starts talking to her dolls.

Sound effects related to devastating injury and then that Batkid furiously huffing and puffing and trying to play it cool (Dami, while everyone grimaces)

Bruce flirting with Selina

Dick bitching about something stupid a JLA member did and then going quiet, and threatening everyone listening in

Duke making sound effects under his breath and catchphrase-celebrating unseen feats of heroism and/or parkour

Steph making grim but cheerful comments about near misses while driving, and then going "Haha just kidding. Got you guys good."

Bruce flirting with Khoa

Jason panting heavily, and clearly running for his life, before profusely thanking a bus driver

Tim making mission impossible sounds very quietly as he walked after bad guys at the edge of some rafters. Followed by him falling through them

Bruce being awkwardly flirted at by Riddler, followed by an ew straight from someone's soul

Alfred's random commentary

It's easier to accept that you're aromantic once you understand that what you want isn't romance per se and it's really the companionship that appeals to you. I never actually liked the thought of being in a relationship but I liked the thought of being important to someone

headcanon that the smaller batkids steal the bigger ones' hoodies and jackets. and by "bigger ones" I mean literally anyone bigger than them.

jason gets the short end of the stick because dick and all his little siblings take his. tim's the only one bold enough to go for the leather jackets (well, and cass, but they're way too wide in the shoulders for her) but it's not uncommon to find dick or stephanie in a dark red or gray hoodie that smells of motor oil and gunpowder.

damian usually takes dick's hoodies, but they're very oversized on him. on the bright side, there are thumbholes in the sleeves of all dick's hoodies, so he can still use his hands. the thumbholes make them a hot commodity in the winter.

there is a tim-steph-cass jacket pipeline. steph steals tim's hoodies and cass takes them from steph. hence tim stealing jason's leather jackets -- steph won't take them, so he gets to hold on to them until jason realizes and takes them back. sometimes cass will also steal duke's hoodies, but she always returns them clean and neatly folded (unlike how it goes with the rest of the family, in which they are returned only under threat of blackmail or with long rounds of negotiation).

this is an extremely long-standing ring of jacket theft. you cannot leave a hoodie unattended in wayne manor. damian doesn't actually own any hoodies, and cass only owns one, because there's so many other people in the house to "borrow" one from. nowhere is safe. steph once broke into dick's apartment to steal his warm hoodie, the one with the fuzz on the inside.

but it goes the other way sometimes. jason leaves things in the pockets of his leather jackets for tim -- film for his camera, hand sanitizer, half-filled punch cards for local coffee shops with "drink water too, fucker" written on the back. cass will tuck little slips of paper in the cuffed sleeves when she leaves hoodies out. the notes don't say anything, but they have little smiley faces and hearts on them, and steph has taken to doing something similar with corny jokes. dick just straight-up leaves candy in the hoods of his jackets.

it's a game, it's a love language. it's simultaneously annoyance and affection. there's nothing like wearing a hoodie that's too big for you, that smells like your family, to make you feel safe.

Steve, who has been adopted by every adult he’s ever met: I can’t meet your uncle, Eddie

Eddie: ???

Eddie: It’s not like Wayne is going to hate you

Steve: It’s worse.

Steve: He’s going to love me so much.

bruce and some little birds

part 2

Dick, at the police station: Hi, I'm here for Jason. Officer: last name? Dick: You must be new here.