They Are Playing With Their Touys :]

I hc Dick will be non-verbal for a bit when Bruce first adopts him

people say the Brucie Wayne persona isn’t believable but if I caught Bruce Wayne drunkenly lying under a desk in an office he shouldn’t have access to with a ream of secure documents and he replied to my “Mr. Wayne?” with “Mr. Wayne was my father—oh god, my father” and then started sobbing, I would 100% back away and leave him alone. like that shit would work on me every time.

Deku respects women so much

jason: you're so annoying.

dick: I love you too.

*later*

jason: fuck you.

dick: I love you too.

*even later*

jason: your face is dumb.

dick: I love you too.

*even later*

jason: ... I love you.

dick: *stares*

dick: are you sICK WHAT'S WRONG IS THE WORLD ENDING BRUCE GET IN HERE SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH JASON—

Maybe there’s someone in this abandoned clown factory who can help us

Robin is freaking out about how she hasn’t had her first kiss yet and Steve’s like, “Hey, I’ll help you.”

She raised an eyebrow at him and he rolls his eyes, “Not with me, obviously. I will find you someone.”

This leads to a whole month where they’ll go to a party/bar/club and Steve will bring over a random man and just leave him there.

Robin is just ?????????

She feels like she’s reading this wrong because to her, it seems like Steve is implying that she should make out with these objectively good looking guy and - and - finally she explodes, “Do you know what a lesbian is?”

“Yeah?”

“Okay, then why do you keep bringing guys over to me??!!”

Steve gives her a baffled look, says like it’s obvious, “So you can have your first kiss.”

“Why?” She asks through the insanity. “Would. I. Want. To. Do. That?????! I’m. A. Lesbian.”

“…oh, Robs,” Steve says like he gets it but proves that he really doesn’t when he adds, “A first kiss feels like it’s really important but it’s not. So you just do it with anyone to get it over with.”

“I’m a lesbian.”

“So?? My first kiss was with Tommy,” Steve shrugs. “Why would you want your first kiss to be with someone you like? The first kiss is always bad.”

Robin just stares at that revelation and then looks at the clock. It’s getting late but they can be tired for work tomorrow. This is a conversation she needs to have now.”

“I don’t know gang…”

“C’mon, you can’t leave us hanging!”

“Yeah, you’ll love camping!”

“I love plumbing. And a mattress.”

“The cabin overlooking the clearing has showers and everything, and plus, if it gets really bad we can just hole up in there for a while. It’s got three floors!”

“Really? That’s quite a lot for a camping cabin.”

“Yeah! The basement, the main floor and the attic!”

“…Excuse me?”

“What?”

“You booked a cabin in the middle of the woods with a basement and an attic?”

“Technically we can’t go into the basement, it’s like super locked.”

“Which means?”

“In the pictures there are three locked chains on the door, see?”

“THERE’S ALSO A FUCKING HAND REACHING THROUGH THE GAP UNDERNEATH?!”

“No, I’m pretty sure that’s just a trick of the light. Or the decor. It’s really gothic.”

“Gothic?! Yeah no pass your phone, I want to- gargoyles. Hunting trophies. Why not. Did you even- IS THAT A CLOWN STATUE?”

“Relax, it does a side gig as a venue for haunted houses. That’s probably where the hand came from: Halloween decorations.”

“…And nothing about this is giving you a red flag?”

“Ok, seriously, relax, you are so dramatic, it’s probably wine not an actual bloodstain-“

“I didn’t see a bloodstain?!”

“Oh see it’s right there next to the fireplace with the axes above the mantle.”

“Just no.”

“Hey folks, I did check the weather and it will be heavy storms so we’ll just have to tough it- what’s up with Red?”

“They are weirded out by the log cabin.”

“CLOWN STATUE. BLOODSTAIN. LOCKED BASEMENT. What does the attic also have to be a meat locker for you to give this idea any thought?”

“It says the owners only kept the meat cleavers after they refurbished it.”

“Ooo, that’s why it’s so spacious, old farmhouse.”

“Right? It’s so rustic!”

“We’re going to die.”

“Look Red, we don’t want to go on this without you. It’s only last freedom before uni, right?”

“If you say we’re out, we’re out.”

“I’m sorry, but it really gives me a bad feeling.”

“No that’s perfectly ok. You’re not happy, none of us are happy.”

“Tell me the deposit wasn’t non-refundable.”

“It’s fine, we got it for dirt cheap, this flyer showed up through the door and the number we called practically gave it to us for free.”

“It’s going to be tricky finding somewhere that cheap again. And when we booked it in person, the lady was so nice, she even gave us this cool themed skull key for the door!”

“Oh! I got an ad for an old castle that needs house-sitting! They’ll even pay us to be there and it looks really nice, and it needs a minimum of five people and we fit perfectly.”

“Let’s see?”

“I love those paintings in the hall, so lifelike. Skilled artists, you guys.”

“None of you are allowed to make decisions anymore. I pick where we go next.”

getting horror movie vibes from the trip your friends were planning, you decided to simply stay home.

dynamights favorite deku merch

actually no, we're not "dating". we're bound together for infinity. like the stars. so, fuck you, actually.