We All Know About The Weirdly Accurate Running Joke Of Batman’s Adoption Problem

Batfamily and their Types

At first, it’s just Jason laughing at Dick for having a thing for redheads. Conversation turns real quick when Tim says ‘Oh yeah and that thing you’ve got with Roy is casual?’ Jason is flabbergasted. Dick nearly chokes on his cereal laughing.

Tim and Damian poke fun at their older brothers for sharing a type, making snarky remarks on comms and tossing chips at the couples whenever they meet up on patrol (from a safe distance). When Bart dyes Wally’s shampoo as a joke, causing him to go blond for a week, Tim tearfully begs him to reverse it in front of the entire JL, bawling about how Bart will break up the happy couple. Damian pats Red Robin on the back and explains to the assembled heroes it is because Wally is no longer a redhead. Dick has to do damage control for a very confused Wally that might, and replaces all of Tim’s coffee with decaf for the next two weeks and put glitter on Damian’s Robin uniform. They both agree it’s worth it.

This is until one fateful night. Tim is relaxing with Kon in the manor, watching Steph and Jason engage in a deadly round of Mario Kart (it’s banned and they have to finish before Alfred finds them) when Damian and Jonathan walk in. Kon and Jonathan leave to head back to Metropolis together, and Damian’s a little red and smiling. Jason (without looking up from the game): Ooooo, someone had fun.

Damian: Tt. It was just ice cream. (He cannot look anyone in the eyes, still fighting his smile.)

Steph: Ice cream, huh? Weird, you’re making the same face Tim did when he got a crush on…

A moment of realisation. Tim and Damian whip round to face each other.

Jason: Oh my god.

Tim: No.

Jason: Oh my GOD.

Damian: Silence Todd, it is nothing.

Jason: OH MY GOD. DICKHEAD!

Jason runs out the room as Tim and Damian bolt after him, attempting to disrupt this madness before it reaches its conclusion. They are too late.

Across the manor, Steph can hear Dick’s voice shriek: ‘BOTH THEIR TYPE IS WHAT??’ More yelling follows.

When Cass starts dating Steph, they all think she’s bucked the trend. Duke starts dating Izzy, and everyone calms down more. Pattern broken, right? Izzy still leads and takes part in ‘We Are Robin’ when needed, but has far less caped crusades since Batman returned.

It’s Izzy’s involvement in the youth group that leads to the next realisation. The Batfam have finished a tough patrol after a rough attack on Gotham, several rogues uniting to cause more chaos than average, resulting in several fires and buildings destroyed. We Are Robin members are on the scene as emergency relief and volunteers, handing out water, helping organise the injured, making lists of those still missing to coordinate with emergency services and reuniting people lost in the chaos. Izzy goes up to the Batfamily members in attendance, gathered nearby and all taking a breather, Bruce, Tim, Damian, Cass, Steph and Duke all out as dawn breaks. She checks whether they need any assistance or help, passing out food from a Batburgers that survived the trouble, and chats with Duke for a while.

Tim spits out his iced coffee in shock as he gasps, looking between Duke and Izzy staring at him and Cass and Steph eating peacefully.

Tim: Your type is fucking Robins!

What ppl think thugs in Gotham are afraid of: Batman

What the thugs in Gotham are actually afraid of: Robin

Bat is stoic with brute force who wants justice, robins do it cuz they feel like it and it’s fun to them.

Hi batfam fandom I'm new here

(I made another btw)

genuinely how it feels to see the random haiku bot on posts

The real reason why none of the bat-boys are allowed in the kitchen

Jason: Hey Dick. Wanna see a butterfly?

Dick: Yes.

Barbara: No!

Jason: *throws a stick of butter across the table*

Tim: Fucking majestic!

But make them techno punk

AU where Damian feels really bad for hurting Tim but won't admit it out loud, so he goes into over protective mode.

... I made a part 2...

...Part 3...

EDIT: PROSHIPPERS GET OUT OF HERE YOU GOOFS

Storyediting Questions to Ask

As You Read the First Draft:

Are there place that surprised you as you read your first draft? - Why do you suppose that is? - Is there material there you'd like to expand?

What are the character really doing in this story? - Might they have issues you haven't explored fully yet?

Look to the places that drag. - These might be scenes where you have avoided dealing with something deeper. - What are the characters really thinking in these places? - What are their passions, frustrations, and desires?

Imagine alternative plotlines. - How might your plot be different if ti headed off on another tangent from various points in the story? - You don't have to follow them, but they might suggest other streams that can flow into the main plot.

Think About Structure:

Does you story play out naturally in three acts?

Is there an immediate disturbance to the Lead's world?

Does the first doorway of no return occur before the one-fifth mark?

Are the stakes being raised sufficiently?

Does the second doorway of no return put the Lead on the path to the climax?

Does the rhythm of the sotyr match your intent? If this is an action novel, does the plot move relentlessly forward? If this is a character-driven novel, do the scenes delve deeply enough?

Are there strongly motivated characters?

Have coincidence been established?

Is something happeing immediately at the beginning? Did you establish a person in a setting with a problem, onfronted with change or threat?

Is the timeline logical?

Is the story too predictable in terms of sequence? Should it be rearranged?

About Your Lead Character:

Is the character memorable? Compelling? Enough to carry a reader all the way through the plot?

A lead character has to jump off the page. Does yours?

Does this character avoid cliches? Is he capable of surprising us?

What's unique about the character?

Is the character's objective strong enough?

How does the character grow over the course of the story?

How does the character demonstrate inner strength?

About Your Opposition:

Is your oppositing character interesting?

Is he fully realized, not just a cardboard cutout?

Is he justified (at least in his own mind) in his actions?

Is he believable?

Is he strong as or stronger than the Lead?

About Your Story's Adhesive Nature:

Is the conflcit between the Lead and opposition crucial for both?

Why can't they just walk away? What holds them together?

About Your Scene:

Are the big scenes big enough? Surprising enough? Can you make them more original, unanticipated, and draw them out for all they are worth?

Is there enough conflict in the scenes?

What is the least memorable scene? Cut it!

What else can be cut in order to move the story relentlessly forward?

Does the climactic scene come too fast (through a writer fatigue)? Can you make it more, write it for all it's worth?

Does we need a new minor subplot to build up a saggin midsection?

About Your Minor Characters:

What is their purpose in the plot?

Are they unique and colorful?

Polishing Questions:

Are you hooking the reader from the beginning?

Are suspenseful scenes drawn out for the ultimate tension?

Can any information be delayed? This creates tension in the reader, always a good thing.

Are there enough surprises?

Are character-reaction scenes deep and interesting?

Read chapter ending for read-on prompts

Are there places you can replace describing how a character feels with actions?

Do I use visual, sensory-laden words?

For a Dialogue Read-Through:

Dialogue is almost always strengthened by cutting words within the lines.

In dialogue, be fair to both sides. Don't give one character all the good lines.

Greate dialogue surprises the reader and creates tension. View it like a game, where the players are trying to outfox each other.

Can you get more conflict into dialogue, even emong allies?

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-after Damian turned 16, at the family dinner-

Bruce: so... Damian, do you remember the Oreov girl you met at the gala last week?

Damian: *looks up* yes

Bruce: what do you think of her...?

Dick: *tries not to laugh*

Tim: *fails not to laugh*

Steph: *doesn't even try not to laugh*

Damian: she was... acceptable, if a bit annoying, why do you ask?

Tim: He's trying to set you up!

Batkids -Damian: *laughs*

Damian: *stares blankly*

Bruce: of course, you don't hav-

Damian: father, are you unaware that I'm in a committed relationship?

Duke, Tim and Dick: *choke on their food*

Steph: *chokes on her drink*

Cass: *smiles*

Batkids: WHAT?!

Bruce: ... I-....

Jason: *laughs so hard he almost falls from his chair* oh Jesus Christ! The world's best detectives at their finest!

Dick: you knew? And you didn't tell me?!

Jason: where the fuck do you think he went almost every fucking friday?

Bruce: *turns to Damian* I- I though you were having sleepover with Jon

Damian: I was.

Dick: but you just-

Batfam: *stops all their movememnt as they realize*

Jason: *actually falls from his chair laughing*

Bruce: JONATHAN SAMUEL KENT!

-over at the Kent farm, also having family dinner-

Jon, who heard Bruce shout his name: I feel like I'm going to get murdered by a bat in my sleep

Clark, who was also listening in: right after you explain why I had to find out you're dating Damian throught their family dinner

Jon: hehe... fuck