The Real Reason Why None Of The Bat-boys Are Allowed In The Kitchen

Bruce going to the park and realizing he has an extra kid

Bruce: hey boys, come get some cupcakes! *opening the package he bought earlier at the store* here, Dick, I know you like chocolate—here, Jason, that’s funfetti, here, Kid, this one’s—wait Dick, Jason, and Kid: *stare up at him innocently* Bruce: *slowly relinquishes the cupcake to Kid* uh . . . Who is this? Jason: *nonchalantly* oh, this is Tim. Our brother. Bruce: *chokes, immediately wondering if he somehow missed that Jason or Dick had a brother* your what— Jason: our brother? Bruce: *coughs* that’s what I thought you said, but that doesn’t clear anything u- Tim: *adorably* mister? Are you their dad? Jason: yeah, he is. Tim: *hugs Bruce* Bruce: Bruce: *looks to Dick and narrows his eyes, still holding into Tim* you Planned This, you little demon Dick: oh absolutely *fist bumps Jason* Jason: so can we keep him? Bruce: he’s a child, not a dog- Tim: *still hugging Bruce* mister, this cupcake is delicious! I don’t get any sweets at home, mama says it’ll make me too fat for the press Bruce: *immediately* nope, he’s ours now

Destroy all the bots, except for the haiku bot. That one gets to stay

i love these normal teens

every so often, i think, and it might be so selfish of me, but i crave to be someone's first choice. i want to be the person that someone sees fun things to do and their first thought is to ask me to go with them. i want someone to be willing to inconvenience themselves a little bit sometimes for me as i would do for them. i want to be looked at in a list of people and to have someone pick me out of all of them. i want to be held at the same level as a romantic partner in terms of effort and closeness. i want someone to want me as much as i want them, even though it's not in a romantic sense. i want to be important to someone.

i love them i love core four my little guys ever

-after Damian turned 16, at the family dinner-

Bruce: so... Damian, do you remember the Oreov girl you met at the gala last week?

Damian: *looks up* yes

Bruce: what do you think of her...?

Dick: *tries not to laugh*

Tim: *fails not to laugh*

Steph: *doesn't even try not to laugh*

Damian: she was... acceptable, if a bit annoying, why do you ask?

Tim: He's trying to set you up!

Batkids -Damian: *laughs*

Damian: *stares blankly*

Bruce: of course, you don't hav-

Damian: father, are you unaware that I'm in a committed relationship?

Duke, Tim and Dick: *choke on their food*

Steph: *chokes on her drink*

Cass: *smiles*

Batkids: WHAT?!

Bruce: ... I-....

Jason: *laughs so hard he almost falls from his chair* oh Jesus Christ! The world's best detectives at their finest!

Dick: you knew? And you didn't tell me?!

Jason: where the fuck do you think he went almost every fucking friday?

Bruce: *turns to Damian* I- I though you were having sleepover with Jon

Damian: I was.

Dick: but you just-

Batfam: *stops all their movememnt as they realize*

Jason: *actually falls from his chair laughing*

Bruce: JONATHAN SAMUEL KENT!

-over at the Kent farm, also having family dinner-

Jon, who heard Bruce shout his name: I feel like I'm going to get murdered by a bat in my sleep

Clark, who was also listening in: right after you explain why I had to find out you're dating Damian throught their family dinner

Jon: hehe... fuck

Dick spent so much time climbing, hanging off things, or solving problems upside down that it became a joke with the Titans that Robins think better like that. Fast forward a couple of years and Jason threatens to shoot the next person who flips him upside down when he's scheming (Artemis gets Bizarro to do it). Tim nearly kicks Kon in the face for flipping him over. Kara does it when Stephanie's being annoying, but mercifully by the time Damian's there, no one does it to him. Still, occasionally one of the Bats will be upside down because they got caught like that or fell through a vent and have a Eureka moment and everyone will feel vindicated and it starts up all over again.

And done! :D I really like the idea of Damian experimenting more artistic skills, like body painting- But first he gotta start with something small, so- Makeup!

And I wanted to put Tim in this because of the Caroline Hills thing, he must be more comfortable with makeup 👉🏻👈🏻

Bruce is working at the McDonalds in the Wayne Enterprises cafeteria as he’s trying to uncover corruption.

Tim is working at the Taco Bell because the show Undercover Boss sounded fun

Jason is working at the Starbucks because he’s trying to poach employees from Bruce, but doesnt want to do any actual business stuff.

Duke is working at the Burger King because this is literally just his job.

Damian (and Jon stacked on top of Damian to make them seem like adults) is working in the Popeyes as Dick hopes this will make him connect with people more (it will not).

Dick is working at the Smoothie King because he honestly just got lost and this is more fun than his real job.

None of them have noticed.