Everyone Thinks Dick Is A Rule Follower Cause Of The Way He Speaks, But His Actions Prove Otherwise.

Jason: Hey Dick. Wanna see a butterfly?

Dick: Yes.

Barbara: No!

Jason: *throws a stick of butter across the table*

Tim: Fucking majestic!

Bruce: Who is that?

Dick: A kid I met in Bludhaven.

Jason: Oh god, not you too.

Damian, whispering: Are we sure Richard isn't my biological brother?

Tim, also whispering: Yes... Maybe?

Jason, joining the conversation: The adoption gene got transferred through osmosis

Bruce: Where did you get them?

Dick: I was on patrol and they wanted to show me some flips.

Bruce: So they're an acrobat?

Dick: Yeah!

Bruce: Alfred!

Dick: Huh?

Alfred: I shall reinforce all the chandeliers.

Dick: Wait that's not necessary!

Everyone else: ???

Dick: Seriously they're only staying with me a couple days.

Bruce: DAYS?! Alfred order the newest chandeliers.

Alfred: Right away, Master Bruce.

Yes I know its supposed to hurt, yes I know there are rough patches, yes I know that’s not how it happens, yes I know it’s not realistic, it’s not gritty, yes I know that’s not what fate, the gods, the writers say. Yes and yes and yes I know I know I promise you I know-

But what if

things got better?

things could get better?

what if love didn’t always have to bleed?

what if pain wasn’t inherently more valuable than care?

what if those who thought themselves out of reach still had unconditional love?

what if those trying their best to shoulder the burdens of responsibility got to share the weight?

what if family was supportive, and protective?

what if they grew, what if they learned?

what if they got to get up the next day and keep going, not the same as before, but still getting through this?

what if they weren’t alone? not by circumstance, but by choice?

what if they could heal and you could too?

I know that’s not how it ends. I know it ends in pain and tears and a thousand split branches telling different stories, few of them any kind of joyful.

But maybe it doesn’t have to.

Maybe we pick the branch that bends skywards. Maybe that’s what we need.

Hope is a decision. Found family is deliberate.

Ultimately it’s your choice.

Play in the sand.

I don’t want mine to be full of glass.

I love-love AUs, where Jason adopts a kid and conventionally forgets to mention it to others, but I think it would be funnier, if he adopted an animal, but his family instantly started to think that he hides a child, because, honestly, it is obvious that he will end up with one anytime soon—

Jason, snoozing on his alarm: Hey, sorry, I gotta go. Dick: It is okay. See you around! Jason: *leaves* Tim, whispering: So, I don't want to start a panic, but his alarm name was "feeding time". Bruce, slamming his hands against the table: Finally! This had happened! Jason adopted someone! Dick, no less excited: We won. I am an uncle!

Jason, while scrolling the kangaroo ass carriers on the internet: Hm-m. Alfred, creeping on from behind, very enthusiastic: I would recommend you this one, lad. Jason, shuddering: Jesus— Jason: Uhh. Jason, thinking that Alfred probably knows, so there is no need to over-explain: Hey, thanks, Alfie. Alfred: Anytime.

Bruce, feigning nonchalance: So, how is the baby? Jason, thinking that Alfred just told Bruce about the whole thing: Well, better than ever. Bruce: Good. Where had you found him, by the way? Jason: Her. It is a baby girl, Matilda... And, well, in Crime Alley. Bruce, sniffling, because a) Jason is so him; b) he is such a girl dad himself by the nature: That's beautiful, lad. Jason: Uh, yeah?

Tim: Come on, when are you going to bring Matilda to introduce us? Dick is not getting younger. Dick: Hey— Dick: But also, yeah! I am not getting any younger. Jason, confused: You all are kinda obsessed. Jason: Like, there is literally nothing special. If you want to pat a dog, go and pat Titus. Don't bother my girl. Everyone, dropping whatever they were doing: A DOG?!

“[insert dc comics thing] is not canon anymore—” i’m gonna be so fr i haven’t cared about what’s canon and what’s not ever since they killed alfred in order to further bruce and damian’s character development. bc to acknowledge the different canons is to acknowledge that alfred pennyworth, my ideal man, is dead. therefore, to me, nothing is canon unless i like it. and that’s not even to mention damian’s furry arc.

Happy Valentine’s! 💖💖💖

Idk there's something really sweet to me about fix-it writers. Like, me and you- maybe we couldnt make it this time, but in another universe, a million people saw the pain of our story and are writing us a happy ending, giving us the chance we never had

the one and only Acro-bat🦇

The party will be like, “Steve, you have to tell somebody when something is going on. You never tell anybody anything!”

And Steve will be like, “Yes, I do. I tell Robin .”

Then everybody turns to Robin and ask why she doesn’t tell anybody. She shrugs and says she does, “I tell Steve.”

Batfam as things me and my friends have said

Steph: Fucked up I probably could have worn a crop top today 😔

Jason: Yeah well crop top fucked up is trop cop

Jason: and ACAB

Tim: You would baffle the psych department at any university.

-

Damian: You will never guess who just learned there are different breeds of horses.

[Simultaneously]

Tim: Is it Dick?

Babs: Is it Dick?

(is was)

-

Damian: DICK WOKE HIM (the cat) UP!

Damian: SO FUCKED UP!

Jason: Kill hi-

Dick: I'm sticking a fork into a power outlet.

Jason: Okay he's on it

-

Tim: I'm not autistic, probably, I'm the other one.

Dick: Artistic

Steph: A Cancer

-

Jason: Get me, uhh, a crapple juice

Duke: And if they don't have that?

Jason: A bullet to the head.

-

Bruce: Tim what do you do when you have a fever?

Tim: Sleep???

[several people are typing]

-

Tim: Who wants to play a little game?

Cass: What is the little game?

Tim: How long do you think it's been since I last slept?

Cass: 39 hours.

Tim: What the fuck

Tim: How did you do that what the fuck?

-

Tim: Wait wait wait, I thought energy drinks were good for when you're dehydrated?

Bruce: You.

Bruce: You're thinking of sports drinks.

Tim: What's the difference?

-

Dick: You don't ever talk about your parents.

Tim: I don't ever talk about my parents because... *shrugs* they're fine.

-

Duke: You all need to go to bed or I'm calling the cops

Tim: LOL call GCPD and see what happens (nothing)

Duke: Ok

Duke: Called. I don't think they're allowed to say that word but whatever.