What? A Non D&D Post? Yeah, Cause The Safety Of My Non Verbal Children Comes First Babeee

I’m both these people and I hate it

there is an IMAGE in my HEAD and i cannot DRAW IT. hatred and rage.

Pet Idea

Duck Of Inspiration

Description: An apparently normal duck, occasionally it glows of a very faint yellow light.

Functionality: Give to all the players in a 10ft, that are in good terms with the duck, the possibility to use +1 to +5 inspiration per long rest. A player can use +5 all in one roll, or two players can use +2 and then +3.

BUT

If someone uses the inspiration of the duck they will not be able to use it until the next long rest. If someone uses the inspiration point that the DM gave them and that sums up to more than a +1 inspiration used, they will be unable to use the Duck until the next long rest.

To be in good terms with the duck you need to feed it, play with it, take care of her, NEVER call her “Quack”, “Goose”, “Silly Goose”, “Duck”, “Chicken” or “Bird” and NEVER say to her to shut up or act angrily towards her if she quacks.

If you do one of those things, you roll a d20

15-20: the Duck will look at you angrily, quack loudly while glowing and you will be feeling uneasy for a minute

10-14: the Duck will quack, looking at you seriously while glowing of a faint orange, you’ll be unable to speak for a minute. If you have any inspiration points, you lose 1 of them

5-9: the Duck will quack quietly, looking at you with disdain while glowing orange, you’ll be blinded and mute for a minute. If you have any, you’ll lose 2 inspiration points.

2-4: the Duck looks at you in silence and glows red, you’ll be paralysed for a minute, uneasy for 5 minutes and take 3d4 of psychic damage. You’ll lose all your inspiration points given to you but the DM

1: the Duck eyes turn white, its feathers vibrate while turning of a pitch black, it opens its wings and beak, looking directly into your eyes. The duck glows purple, everything around you seems to tremble like in an earthquake and then you start vomiting blood losing 20 pure damage, you look at the Duck and for a second it seems to have horns and sharpened teeth inside it’s beak, what seems like blood comes down like tears from its eyes. Then everything turns black, and the next thing you realise after opening your eyes, is that you’ve been transformed into a duck (a chicken, if you’ve called her “Chicken”). No other players have seen past the black aura that surrounded the Duck and you while everything happened. Everyone need to roll an Intelligence roll (>5 to succeed) to understand that the Duck polymorphed you into a Duck/Chicken. You lose all your inspiration points and stay polymorphed for 2 hours or until the next rest. You can understand other Ducks while in this form, except The Duck.

Rolling lower than a 12 will make you unable to use the Duck again (don’t say it to your player until it tries to, to make it funnier) because you’ll be in bad terms with the Duck.

Say sorry to the Duck and take care of her and it will accept your apologies and after your next rest you’ll be able to use the Duck again.

Speak with animals will not work (and any other spell that need its target to be an animal) but will give you the faint sensation that you should make this Duck friend and follow you, for your own good.

P.S. Yes, The Duck is an eldritch abomination. If you want it can become a patron, but don’t make it that it’s a Dark creature polymorphed or trapped in the body of a Duck… make it that the Duck is its normal form.

Inspiration: The Duck above… wait I’ve gained inspiration from the duck of inspiration to make the duck of inspiration… it’s Duckception

Saw a post like this with negative outlook so I asked for it to be fixed

Or cry

the way you win at DnD is making your friends laugh

Feat Idea

Blood Explosion Disease

Description: The character’s veins burst and their skin is torn as blood rushes out of their body at high speed, coating the surroundings with blood. Then the skin reforms back to its normal state. The first part is not a painless process. Neither is the second part. If the next rest of the character will be a long rest, they won’t be able to do anything beside sleeping. If the next rest is scheduled to be a short rest, and the character is forced to continue their journey, they’ll have +2 points of fatigue until the next long rest.

Functionality: 1/long rest. When using this trait the player rolls a d4 to determinate how much blood they’ll lose:

0.5 liter of blood: the character takes 2d12 of damage, anyone who is in the blast radius needs to roll a Dex ST above 10(with disadvantage their first time, advantage after the fourth) on a fail they’ll get directly hit by the blood and take 1d12+X of damage

1 liter of blood: the character takes 2d12+5 of damage, anyone who is in the blast radius needs to roll a Dex ST above 14, on a fail they’ll get directly hit by the blood and take 1d12+1d6+X of damage

1.5 liter of blood: the character takes 3d12+5 of damage, gets their speed reduced by 5 ft, they can hold their breath for -Y minutes and have a -2 on strength, dexterity, wisdom and charisma checks and saving throws. Anyone who is in the blast radius needs to roll a Dex ST above 16, on a fail they’ll get directly hit by the blood and take 1d12+1d8+X of damage

2 liters of blood: the character takes 2d8+1d6 of damage, gets their speed reduced by 5 ft , they can hold their breath for -Y minutes and have a -4 on strength, dexterity, wisdom and charisma checks and saving throws. Anyone who is in the blast radius needs to roll a Dex ST above 18, on a fail they’ll get directly hit by the blood and take 1d12+1d8+X of damage

The AoE is a circle around the player with a 20ft DIAMETER.

X equals the class level of the player using the feat (a level 2Wiz/4Barb will use 4, not 6)

Y equals the lowest stat of the player using the feat -1. If it’s positive it becomes negative: if Cha +1 is the lowest, it becomes -1, then take -1 again, so -2=Y.

Inspiration: the meme above and that one blood post of @yaboywillyshakes (formerly adventuresintimeandspace). Your blood will never be forgotten @yaboywillyshakes

Party Idea

Rat

Class: Thief

Race: ?

Description: She’s either a Ratfolk or an Halfling, nobody can tell. Asking it to her will only raise the chances of both getting ignored and robbed. She wears magic sandals that always make noise to challenge herself when stealing, if she takes them off, she becomes so powerful and sneaky that even her shadow stop noticing her.

Converse

Class: Barbarian

Race: Dwarf

Description: She doesn’t speak Common but can understand it. It’s not like she’s too dumb to learn it, she simply never learned and now she doesn’t think it’s that important for her to know how to speak. Everyone in the party seem to always understand what she wants and she’s happy like that because even without speaking her “family” always listen to her.

Wolf

Class: Warlock

Race: Human Werewolf

Description: His tattoo is the symbol of his patron and the origin of his curse, the bandana is a gift from the patron to him, but wearing it too much makes Wolf suffer, forcing him to still having to unleash his wolf form at full power once in a while.

Eyes

Class: Monk

Race: Elf

Description: Being totally blind, they refined all their other senses and are now even able to see the auras of the creatures surrounding them, thanks to their perfect control of Chi. Even if they’re not as powerful as other monks, they are still a valuable party member.

The Captain

Class: Arteficer

Race: Orc

Description: Has a warm and fatherly personality, always laughing with his strangely deep voice. He’s the proud owner and creator of the magnificent Nautilus, a weird-looking but fast vehicle that the party loves using.

Goggles

Class: Wizard

Race: Human

Description: He was the lone wolf of the party, but after Wolf joined he lost the title, now that Wolf is the leader he doesn’t look like the same. Goggles is the one carrying around the Nautilus, stored inside his magic pockets, even if his strength is never enough to take it out by himself and The Captain always steps in to (in his own words) “Not hurt his baby”, talking about the Nautilus.

I feel the urge to create a D&D campaign with a lesbian vampire who realised it at 144 years because she spent all the days in her house and at night she would just go around sucking blood without looking much the people because at night there are not that many people outside and she never was that picky, until something happened and saw two girl (girls!!!) kissing (K I S S I N G!!!)

Watching Sakura Trick on YouTube as a 144-year-old blew my mind so much. What do you mean girls can KISS each other! More than once even

Item Idea

Legendary Sponge

Description: a yellow square sponge, it looks like any other normal sponge except that it won’t suffer from any environmental effects, not even the loss of water or the rising of temperatures.

Functionality: Grants the holder with resistance to cold, lightning, thunder and fire damage. Does not stack with other spells or items.

Inspiration: Now there is @markrosewater

I would have GREATLY preferred the Spongebob creatures be original designs. As funny as Squidward being a "Horror" is it is absolutely disappointing to see Spongebob be a Human and not a Sponge

There are no legendary Sponges.

Keep going… ✍🏻

New Spell: Transmute Group Of Orcs To Polycule.

Magic Object Idea

Reassembled Painting

Description: What seem to be the painting of a famous artist, but with something wrong. The original was a different painting of another famous artist that was then magically cut in small squares and glued precisely back on to look as the other work. The name of the original is on the back of the frame. It yearns to return its original state.

With an investigation roll of 13 or lower the character doesn’t notice anything, 14 to 17 the character notice the colours are slightly different and in some places wrong, 18 or higher and the character notices the cuts and realise what’s been done to the painting as they read the original painting’s name.

Functionality: once a person stands in a 30ft radius of the painting for a long period of time, the sound of scissor will be overheard repeatedly in the air, this sets the start of the “attack” of the painting. Depending on for how long the character is in sight of the painting, it will try to get their attention and to make them suffer its own curse by:

• Swapping colours of their features, for example making their hair the colour of their eyes and viceversa, or making their skin the colour of their armour and viceversa.

• Swapping two people’s features, in case there are at least two creatures in sight, for example swapping the hair, armour or voices of two characters.

Everything is restored after the character moves 40 feet away from the painting.

To restore the painting the players must either break its curse with magic or restoring it manually in two hours of in-game time where the effects are minimal as the painting returns to its original state. (Make it so there is a way for a character with no art knowledge to know how the original looks like, by either putting the painting somewhere where they can be helped by a professional or maybe by making them find earlier a book of paintings of famous artists)

Once the painting is restored, depending on the character that saved it’s class, it changes form:

Artificer: the painting fuses with their tools giving them a beautiful coat of color, +1 to any checks made using them.

Barbarian: the painting fuses with the barbarian to make tattoos of beautiful art all over their body, +1 to Cha checks

Bard: the painting fuses with the Bard’s instruments, +1 to any attack made using them (magic and not, but only attacks that would damage a creature or more)

Cleric: the painting fuses with their shield, turning it into a fine piece of art dedicated to their god or deity, +1 AC

Druid: the painting fuses with the staff of the Druid, or changes in a similar way their Druidic focus, to make it look like a beautiful representation of blooming nature

Fighter: the painting fuses with the boots of the fighter turning them into a beautiful peace of art, +5ft on all speeds (that are not set to 0)

Monk: The painting fuses with the knuckles of the Monk, marking them with beautiful tiny tattoos, +1 max ki point

Paladin: The painting fuses with the paladin’s blade, turning into to a shining piece of art with its hilt beautiful yet still practical. +1d4 damage dealt using the sword

Ranger: The painting fuses with their bow or ranged weapon, marking with drawings of the hunt, +1 to all Wis checks

Rouge: the painting fuses with the daggers of the rogue, turning them into a deep black colour when they hide but a beautiful piece of art when they don’t, +1d4 to sneak attacks damage

Sorcerer: the painting fuses with the body of the sorcerer as a beautiful tattoo forms on their chest, gain an additional metamagic option

Warlock: the painting fuses not only with the character but with the pact itself that they made with the patron, making your Eldritch Blast look like a beautiful piece of art as it blasts your enemies, +1d6 damage dealt using Eldritch Blast (for Hexblade, it fuses with the weapon and deals +1d4 damage)

Wizard: the painting fuses with the spell book of the wizard, making its cover much more beautiful and depicting the spells inside with drawings too, +1 to the number of recovered spell slots AFTER halving the Wizard level (a 4th level wizard will be able to recover 3 spell slots instead of 2)

Inspiration: the video above, the idea of a painting cut to pieces to form another came to me listening to the story of a Black actress being forced to learn how to act as a White actress.