Hey Sorry I Didn’t Talk To You For Over A Century Time Keeps Moving Too Fast

Puzzle Idea

Door of Dooring

Description: A heavy metal (❌🤘) door, without any inscription or mysterious entity guarding it, in a completely empty room. Oh and also without a handle or a key hole. The players can’t sense any sort of magic coming from it.

Functionality: It’s a one way door. The players must find a way to open it from the inside, like using daggers in the space between the door and the wall to pull it or with magic.

Inspiration: …I closed myself in a walk-in-freezer accidentally. For 30 minutes, which is probably less than how much time your players are gonna spend trying to understand what’s the deal with this door.

Magic Spell (silly)

Cookiefication

Description: The user transform a cat into a cookie

Functionality: Those who dare eat the cookified cat roll a Constitution saving throw, if the result is <20 the sinner loses 1d12 of Max HP forever and scratches appears on their body, every rest they take the scratches change place. If the monster rolls a 20 or higher they regain a conscience and realise how cruel it would be eating a cookie resembling a cute kitten and put it down.

Inspiration: The meme above (thanks to @honeycakelion and @madscience for the reblog)

you WILL look at the cookies wife and I have made

Magic Item or Spell

Temporary Sacrifice

Effect: The user use all their magic and put it into an object, losing the ability to use magic in any way, receiving tho a +2 into their stats, +5 to hit, +1d12 to any attack they deal. If they die they loose these bonuses but after 24h from their death they return in a 5ft radius from the object that then retrieves all the magic stored and breaks. If after 24h they aren’t dead yet, they roll a d20, on a Nat20 they get 24h more hours, if they roll anything else they die on the spot and everything returns at normal.

The equipment that the player wore at death is teleported with them, their weapon/s too even if it slipped from their hands at death.

After being teleported the player rolls a [(LevelOfTheCharacter) +3]d4, they lose that amount of Max HP until they have a long rest

Notes: If it’s a spell then the object will be decided by the character, if it’s a magic item then that’s the object where the user magic will be stored.

When the dead return into a 5ft radius from the object, the object breaks only if it was a Magic Item. In case it was a spell, the cool-down is 1 year.

Inspiration: The Viking of Stamford Bridge

Bread Idea

Breadionary

Description: a spell that grants you the ability to summon from thin air the perfect type of bread for your needs.

Functionality: Once casted you receive one of these types of bread (at your choice)

• Baguette: Hard crust, light and airy inside, slightly nutty flavor. +2 Animal Handling

• Brioche: Soft and fluffy, slightly sweet and buttery. +2 Nature

• Ciabatta: Hard crust, chewy inside, mild sour flavor. +2 Sleight of Hand

• Focaccia: Soft and oily, herby and savory flavor. +2 Medicine

• Sourdough: Hard crust, chewy and dense, tangy flavor. +2 Intimidation

• Pita: Soft and pocketed, neutral and slightly chewy. +2 Arcana

• Naan: Soft and pillowy, buttery and slightly tangy. +2 History

• Rye: Dense and firm, earthy and slightly sour flavor. +2 Survival

• Challah: Soft and slightly chewy, mildly sweet and eggy. +2 Stealth

• Multigrain: Firm crust, grainy texture, nutty and wholesome flavor. +2 Acrobatics

• Cornbread: Soft and crumbly, sweet and corn-forward flavor. +2 Athletics

• Bagel: Chewy crust and inside, mildly sweet and malty flavor. +2 Investigation

• English Muffin: Soft with a crisp outside when toasted, mildly tangy flavor. +2 Perfomance

• Panettone: Soft and airy, sweet with hints of citrus and dried fruit. +2 Religion

• Lavash: Thin and soft, slightly chewy and neutral flavor. +2 Insight

• Pretzel Bread: Firm crust with soft inside, salty and malty flavor. +2 Deception

• Injera: Spongy and soft, tangy and fermented flavor. + 2 Perception

• Zopf: Soft and braided, slightly sweet and eggy flavor. + 2 Persuasion.

The caster can also choose to roll 1d4:

The bonus becomes -2 instead

The bonus stays the same

The bonus stays the same

The bonus becomes +4

At level 10: the d4 changes to a d6 with similar effects

The bonus becomes -6

The bonus becomes -4

The bonus becomes -2

The bonus stays the same

The bonus becomes +4

The bonus becomes +6

(Note: when the bonus turns into a negative number the taste is still perfect and the bread still feel like the perfect snack for the occasion, only after the 10 minutes the taste will resurface as horrible causing the player to vomit profusely and gain +1 Exhaustion Point)

Inspiration: BREAD DAYYY

Spell Idea

RePain

Functionality: Reproduce the last damage that the creature has suffered, it doesn’t function if the last hit failed, didn’t deal damage or was another RePain.

If the last attack required a save throw the creature targeted automatically fails (because it rolls the same number of the last time)

If the last attack was boosted by rage, or other mechanics player-based, the boost still applies. If the boost was due to some magic items that the RePain caster doesn’t have or isn’t affected by, the boost doesn’t applies, but the owner of the item can use a bonus action to throw the item (with advantage) to the RePain caster (the throw can happen on the attacker turn, taking their bonus action, or on the caster’s turn, taking their bonus action even if it’s the attacker who throws the item)

The spell fails if the last attack was 1 hour before the casting of RePain or if the player casting it wasn’t in a 50ft radius of the damage being dealed.

If the amount of damage dealt in the attack was reduced by any item/spell/etc that the enemy used the RePain spell will deal the normal amount of damage.

The RePain spell can’t be redirectionated towards the caster nor the original attacker.

The RePain spell doesn’t heal the player casting it if the original attack counted a heal on the attacker, but it does heal the original attacker by the same amount.

The RePain can be used as a cantrip or as a level 1 spell, when used as a cantrip it cant reproduce the same attack (ex: sword attack by player A, dagger by player B, fireball by player C, Eldritch Blast by player C, etc etc) twice (the OG attacker can be the same tho). When used as a level 1 spell it can, so an Eldritch Blast spammer can be “helped” by a RePain lvl1 spammer.

The RePain spell doesn’t replicate non-damaging spells (Minor Illusion, Charm Person).

If the bonus effect (blind, charmed, paralysed) of the last damage-dealing attack is already gone, the RePain spell reactivates it (if charmed or similar, the target is charmed by the RePain caster)

The RePain takes effect even if the original attacker is dead/unconscious/etc, possibly healing them if the original attack healed them even by just 1 HP.

Inspiration: my mind just birthed it while I was smoking. My brain is a cool dude

Silly Character

Race: Mimic

Class: Druid (Circle of The Moon)

Description: A mimic who can turn into animals too. Has learnt Common by living for a bit with human farmers as a cat (to eat the mouses)

Name: Sparklefluffy Whiskertoes

Inspiration: I just wanted a funny first-character for my trans best friend who is in love with shapeshifting

Spell Idea

Everybody gets a knife

Descritpion: The caster points at up to 23 willing creatures in a 60ft radius. A spectral knife appears levitating in front of them, pointing to the closest enemy. The creature is defined as a companion of the spectral knife from now on.

Functionality: The spectral knife launches itself to the first enemy its companion attacks, dealing 1d4 piercing damage and 2d4 radiant damage, then it disappears.

Inspiration: @general-luce’s meme

Be prepared for tomorrow ya'll.

This is a PERFECT way to introduce D&D to a party of newbies.

Maybe make the child mute (so that they cannot say their own name, escaping the oldest trick in the book) or simply make them very nice to the fairies and respectful of the nature thanks to, idk, a grandma Druid.

If you take the grandma Druid you can make that since she was very rich thanks to her adventures, some bandits kidnapped the child to have for ransom. Then the Grandma, knowing the relationship with the fairies that his grandson had, asked for their help.

For 10+ years a child goes to a forest to play/talk with the fairies there despite local legends of their sadism/cruelty, and afflicting fates worse than death. So when the now 16 y/o child is abducted, the traffickers find out not all local legends are BS when the fairies come for their “pet”.

Magic Item (joke)

Bag of Many Rats

Description: A bag of rat leather, with still the rat’s fur, that you can open to unleash rats

Functionality: As an action you can open the bag and turn it upside down, 1d100 x 5 rats will come out. The rats will obey you for 10 minutes, then they’ll act like normal rats and disappear after 20 minutes.

Inspiration: The meme above (thanks @probablybadrpgideas so happy to create publicly something inspired by you two 💚)

1 d100 ×50000 rats

­3,100,000 rats!

...hey who wants to borrow some rats

What? A non D&D post? Yeah, cause the safety of my non verbal children comes first babeee