Update: Change Of Plans—had To Go To The Doctors Again (the Waiting Was Like 2 Hours, I Swearrr). Ended

Let me give you, the internet, and mostly myself, some executive function advice.

Sometimes, when you find yourself somehow unable to do a thing you need or want to do, one issue might be that your brain has subconsciously tacked on extra tasks, and those tasks are making the whole thing too overwhelming!

Tl;dr: don't do that!

For example, I like to track the books I read and I've been meaning to add a few books I've recently finished. But my brain has added that I should also write a review, and the exact dates I read them (which I can't even remember) and oh by the way I should finish moving my stuff over to storygraph and before I know it that 1 task has turned into 4! And my executive functioning says no.

In fact, while I was getting the idea to write this post, my brain went "wouldn't it be nice to also write a post about y and tag them all properly and go back through my posts and find all mental health posts and tag those too" and wouldn't you know it. 4 tasks.

Discard those extra tasks. Don't even write them down. They don't matter. Strip it down to the 1 task you started with and only do that.

Sure, you won't have achieved some theoretical better end result but that end result was never gonna happen anyway. It was paralysing you from getting the initial task done. And maybe once that initial task is done, you can get to one (1! not 4!) additional task. Later. Not now.

Half-assing is better than no-assing.

13.04.2025 (sun)

(the way he looks at her >>>)

HEY YALLL >°<

Day (4/30) DOP CHALLENGE

Ypt hours ~ 1:32 hrs

💤 3:30 + nap (2 hrs)

Ended up WASTING my weekend binging grey's anatomy and then some (I love Christina and Owen so much it HURTS)

Also, had phy test today. It kinda sucked ass and I have no one to blame BUT myself but instead of spiraling down in self hatred decided to do some work :D

Kind of revised for my bio test and did 60 more questions— got 2 wrong

Got a 44/45 on the actual test

Napped from 5-7

Did math hw

Gt rev/study stuff for eng tmrw morning

Barely did anything today so gt try harder tmrw 💪 💪

GNNN LOVESSS ~~

(⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠³⁠˘⁠)💗

30.04.2025 (wed)

Day (21/30) DOP COLLAB CHALLENGE

ypt hrs ≈ 1:35 hrs

💤 4:30 + 20 min power nap 💤

• Watched my live lec on organisms and ppn and did some hw. Nothin else hehe ^^

Hey

Your blog is really pretty!

And i'm also a 12th grader preparing for the NEET exam

I'm trying to find people like myself so that I stay motivated to study lol

Moots?

HIIIIIII <33

Tysm 🥹🫶🏼 and its a pleasure to meet you !! *curtsies*

Yes yes and yes !! Lets keep each other motivated lol ^^

"What if you mess up? What if you realize you’ve already forgotten the materials you start studying?What if you initially focus but feel like a sedated zombie after a while?"

Can't you change these questions in your mind to - What if you can actually focus well for a long time? What if you do good enough to at least feel relieved? What if you can feel some sense of control over your life? What if you didn’t forget as much as you thought? What if you're way more competent than you thought? What if consistent hard work actually brings what your childhood self had desired instead of disappointments and exhaustion? What if it solves your lack of appetite and anxiety and thought spirals?

What if you asked the second set of questions more often? You already subconsciously know it would've lessened your stress a lot. Can you please stop thinking of self-hatred and pessimism as inseparable parts of your identity?

You're throwing yourself on the verge of extreme uncertainties. Do you deserve this much indifference? Ik you're afraid. But there isn’t any way to eliminate the fears without working on things while being afraid at first.

And even if you're lagging way too behind, you can manage to improve better than you're expecting at present. Trust this for at least a little time and trust everyone who trusted you.

03.03.2025

Guess who recovered just to get hit with a deluxe, extra-crispy version of the same illness? Yep, ME.

Thought about just accepting my fate and rotting in bed, but then I remembered that MAMA DIDN'T RAISE NO QUITTER (…Twitter… I’m sorry, I physically had to....it RHYMES).

Despite feeling like I got run over twice, I still managed to study before school like- who even am I? Manifesting that I keep this streak going. Did a lecture on organic nomenclature before school, another after, and went over Lecture 1 from the morning before a live class. Technically understood things from the live lecture, but let’s be real—I need to actually sit my ass down and study it before it evaporates from my brain. This whole “two 11th-grade lectures a day while balancing 12th-grade coaching and school” thing? Yeah, that’s a recipe for my brain to just ✨exit the chat✨. And as much as I planned to prioritize coaching, my school teachers are lowkey terrifying, and I refuse to be that person who just sits there staring blankly when asked a question.

Also, why am I suddenly so productive while being sick?? This is not on brand for me. Normally, the second I get a fever, I’m KO. But today? Laundry? Notes? Started them, then realized I desperately needed sleep. I still have notes to review, which I usually cram on the bus ride to school (because morning sleep? Never heard of her). Napped on the way back (but not at home so slayyy ~~ 😌). Planned to finish my notes, but decided to let my future self suffer through that mess in the morning, along with some physics and math reading that I have left.

Will I keep up this academic weapon arc or crumble under the weight of my own choices? Stay tuned for the inevitable breakdown.

xoxo, ur favorite hooman <33

I was editing my draft as I did stuff but posted it earlier (b4 I was done) and didn't even notice -_-

14.04.2025 (mon)

(2 of my many many handwritings lmfao)

day (5/30) of DOP COLLAB CHALLENGE

Ypt hours ≈ 4 hrs

💤 ≈ 5 hrs + 20 min power nap otbrh 💤

The eng test went pretty okay :)

Studied for my chem test

Completed random notes of eng & phy

Math hw

Phy lec 1

Would've liked to do one more but I was sleepy and wanted to get at least 6 hrs of sleep (per night is the goal lmfao). My head kinda hurts too hehe =D

BYEE (⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠³⁠˘⁠)💗

05.03.2025

DRAGGED myself to school even tho I was the literal embodiment of a walking corpse. Ended up crashing after school and woke up 5 mins before coaching.

Have chem hw to do which I'll get to soon (hopefully). Did math hw in class itself yaaay . I'll revise the stuff taken at school in the morning bus ride to school as usual :')

Toodles ~~

May 2 & 3

friday

woke up at 11, got ready, went out for lunch and ended up roaming around a bit—reached home kinda late

saturday

spent the day at a water park and it was SO much fun. 10/10 would do again =D

12.04.2025 (sat)

Forgot to post yesterday cuz all I wanted to do was sleep after studying :)

Day (3/30) of COLLAB CHALLENGE

study time ~ 2:10 hrs was too busy and sleepy trynna cram for the test I forgot to record my study time on the app

💤 11hrs lmfao 💤

Studied from 11pm-12am and then napped slept till 3:30 am and studied till 4:40am after which I ✨rested✨ my eyes till I had to be up (by 5)

Toodles ~~