If The Noahs’ Reincarnation Was Given To Them Via Salesman

ffvii time travel au where cloud and tifa got married and the dynamic is this:

cloud, sighing: I miss my wife, zack. I miss her a lot. I gotta go, I’ll be back soon.

I enjoy this so very much because I’ve already been making jokes that Allen is somehow his own father in such a convoluted way.

Like his adoptive father is Mana, whose brother is Nea. Nea is possessing Allen, thus inhabiting the same body and making it not only his, but also his uncles body; you might think this is where it ends. But Mana and Nea are two halves of the same individual. So Allen is possessed by half of his adoptive father’s soul. Thus he is his own father.

If I integrate this new, fresh theory, I can now joke that Allen is both his own biological and adoptive father.

If past!Allen and past!Lavi got orbed to make Allen, does that make them Allen's biological parents? Since Bookman is past!Lavi's father, does that make him Allen's grandfather?

I might make a more in depth post about this later, but there’s something about Allen and Mana’s ways of grieving that stick out to me. They’re so similar, but I think there’s one key difference:

Mana forgets, Allen doesn’t.

When confronted with guilt over hurting a loved one (regardless of circumstances) and the grief of losing them, Mana couldn’t stand to look at himself to the point he literally changed his own face. He spent years searching for the very brother he killed. He hated himself so much he became someone else (Adam). It wasn’t it his fault (Adam’s), it was his fault (Mana’s)

Allen is similar, but ends up swinging in the opposite direction. When he’s at his lowest, he couldn’t cope with it either, becoming catatonic (is that the right word?). After he comes out of that state, it’s because he needs to keep a promise that he (Allen) made to Mana. And like Mana he’s acting like a different person! But he’s still Allen and he carries the guilt of turning Mana into an Akuma directly. He can’t change his face. Everything about his appearance is a constant reminder. It was his fault, and he’s going to spend everyday atoning for it.

cale, explaining how he’s so calm all the time: you know those days when you’re like “this might as well happen.” my life is already so weird.

*actively attempting murder*: his compassionate nature and aura of tragedy have captivated me

modern (no powers) au where crowned clown is a tapeworm that Allen formed an emotional attachment to

god rest his soul. he’s not dead, he just needs a break and only god can get him out of that shituation.

please god, put him down (for a nap)

can’t imagine how Allen’s conversation with the Bookman clan is going to go upon waking up. They’re pissed at him because they couldn’t find past!lavi’s body. Past!lavi didn’t leave a body because he basically absorbed it into past!allen’s.

Imagine having to explain that. How do possibly explain that.

do I think these dgm characters would survive the wilderness (barring immortality lmao)

Allen: of course. I’m almost sure he’s had to do it before (cross *cough cough*)

Link: no? The streets sure, but the true wilderness? Probably not, unless the crows get that kind of training

Kanda: no. He’ll survive a fight, but he’s not going to be able to scavenge or he’ll eat something poisonous lmao. If the order had wilderness survival training, he probably did everything wrong on purpose

Lenalee: no. She’ll also survive a fight, but she doesn’t strike me as someone who was taught those skills. If anything, I think the order would have intentionally kept her vulnerable in that way to further prevent any running

Lavi: probably. The bookman clan has to have training for that.

Miranda: FUCK no lmao (I’m so sorry, my love)

Alistar: Nope

Timothy: no, sadly. Any education he was given on the subject went in one ear and out the other.

Cross: Yes.

Mother: Yes, she gives old woman who mysteriously survives everything vibes

Klaud: yes… even though she seems like a lady accustomed to finer things

Tiedoll: no… maybe? He seems like a prepared man.

Road: yes. She’s older than she looks, and I think she figured it out because she was bored.

Tyki: yeah, but not because of any actual skill. He survives as a comedy gag.

Sheryl: no, richboy

Apocryphos: unfortunately, yes.

the Earl/Adam: yes. That is one OLD motherfucker.

Mana (no, I’m not explaining): he’s either like Tyki or he absolutely thrives. You go looking for him, and you find him with a fully functional cabin and a garden. It’s been only two days. He didn’t make either, nor did he find them.

Neah: I feel like the answer is no.

demon underling: we found out who’s been raiding the territory! It’s polyamorous Lou Binghe.

demon canon fodder: that little fuck! I want him dead! I want his wife dead! I want his wife dead! I want his wife dead! I want his wife de— *repeats ad nauseum*