Bruce Wayne Wakes Up In The Past, Five Months After Jason Todd Died, And Spends Most Days Sat Beside

There's a place just down the street where they chop off angel's wings and fry them in oil. You should try some. Oh, the angels? Yeah they're regular people now. Simultaneously their freedom of flight is ripped away from them violently and yet at the same time they are granted freedom from the yoke of divine subservience so it's bitter sweet for them or some gay shit like that. Anyways the wings are really good.

Jason Todd returning as a vampire would be so much fun to write. Especially if Duke stays as his Robin, but has to be super careful with his powers lest he disintegrate one of his favourite mentors (but Duke routinely threatens him with that when Jason annoys him). The hood makes sense then too, serving as a physical barrier that prevents Jason from just sucking the blood out of any bleeding opponent or person he's trying to save. Furthermore the inability to enter Wayne Manor without invitation, and keeping a bomb in his helmet a) because he's crazy like that and b) because beheading is one of the only ways left to kill him. I like the idea that Dick or someone finds out by accident and just rolls with it.

One unfortunate source of angst in this would be the fact that Alfred would very seriously have to rethink garlic in dishes.

au where the bats manage to stay urban legends, sure other heroes know of them, but they help largely from the shadows, they aren't put on display and they're hardly known at All outside of the strange circle of gotham's goons

that changes when duke thomas stares batman down and says on no uncertain terms that he's working day shift

the signal is Gotham's first confirmed superhero, and he wears a bat on his chest

social media goes Wild fighting over whether the Batman existed all along or if someone finally got the tech and powers to make the bat (or a bat) Real

suddenly the world of superheros feels a lot more real to the citizens of Gotham who got used to horrible disasters being either ignored or neatly cleaned away from the public eye, now there's a guy getting thrown through windows and helping grannies cross the street and the war between gotham and metropolis gets even more cut throat

I posted this on an aroace subreddit and what I loved is that everyone seemed to have their own interpretation of what it meant and how it applied to them.

anyway I think it's rlly funny the idea that Matthieu and Alfred both love cheap box Mac and cheese (Matt way more tho, he has issues); and François is just HORRIFIED by it. Like they bring the little microwave cups to a world meeting for lunch, heat them up, and suddenly François just comes barreling in and smacks it out of their hands.

They're both like, really confused bc "you're the one who got us hooked on Mac & cheese???" and he flips bc "No! I got you obsessed with GOOD Macaroni and Cheese, not this!"

Au where Dick puts a tracking chip in his brothers necks because he grew up with Batman and thinks it’s normal. His siblings, freaks just like him, are a little disturbed but mostly trying to hold back tears because omg he cares so much!!!!!

Jason: We need a distraction! Any volunteers!?

Tim: Hey Kon!

Jason: There's no way your boy toy is listening right now-

Kon: You called?

Jason: Wow. Just like a dog. Alright. Why is Superboy distracting for us today?

Kon: Tim lost poker night and owes me

Dick: Guys, we need to focus on-

Jason: No, no, no. We're getting into this. Timmy, how in fuck did you lose poker!? You can count cards blindfolded and drugged!

Kon: I took off my shirt

Jason: Ok, you're both thirsty idiots. Good to know

also did i post this one yet? i don’t think so.

i think we need to card these two, they look too young to be gangsters

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.