Gotham Bats Ruin And Save Spiderman's Operation Nest

I don't really care for Sealand except as a source of jealousy for America. He sees this "child" that looks so much like himself at that age and how England dotes on him and is so frustrated by his own feelings. He's frustrated how jealous he is and how badly he wants to be held in England's arms again, frustrated that he wants to be loved that way again (even if he has England's love romantically) after all he did to be on his own exactly so he wouldn't be coddled anymore. He isn't unkind to Sealand but I like to think he's a bit quieter and more reserved when the principality is around, particularly with England because he feels he needs to be more 'adult' to make up for his childish feelings of jealousy. At any other time he's clingy as a barnacle but when England has his attention focused on Sealand, America grits his teeth because it reminds him of being that beloved child that constantly saw the world over England's shoulder and he hates it as much as he wants it again. He hates that he only wants it again because now someone else has it.

*releases pack of dads into home depot* go……be free

It has been said, and seen a few times that america has a pet unicorn that he can't see but takes care of(and is apparently tony's rival) what's that relationship like?

That’s an interesting question! I had personally ever given much thought to this, to be honest. There isn’t much in canon, either – so everything about this will be 100% a headcanon.

I find the concept of America owning a magical creature he cannot see quite fascinating. In his adamant refusal to consider the possibility of magic, he comes to the conclusion that the unicorn’s invisibility is a scientific phenomenon he is unaware of. He’s convinced that England knows and orchestrated a big joke, too, but he’s also aware England will never admit it. So, America has tried many times to discover the reason behind the unicorn’s invisibility. However, due to the unicorn being a living creature, he could never go too far as not to hurt it. America is convinced that’s the reason why he still hasn’t solved the mystery. He’s so set in his ways that his mind is just unable to consider a different possibility. America just believes that everything has to have a rational, scientific explanation. There’s no space in his mindset for magic (ghosts aside, but I feel like this may be another matter – more tied to spirituality than pure magic, if it makes sense). Being still in the dark about the unicorn’s true nature still does bug him a little if he thinks about it, though.

In spite of everything, I see America being quite fond of the unicorn. America is fond of animals in general, so he takes care of it in the best way he can. On its part, the unicorn is very fond of America as well. It can sense America’s well-meaning nature and honest affection and reciprocates it. When America is nearby, the unicorn tries to stay close to him and make its presence known (it neighs, or maybe nuzzles America...). If America is feeling down, the unicorn tries to comfort him with its presence – it nuzzles him, stays closer than usual... America appreciates that a lot, it never fails to lift his mood. I see the unicorn being very protective of America, too – it always tries to chase away people who give it a bad vibe. America appreciates that a lot. He’s very protective of the unicorn as well; while he knows that the unicorn can take care of itself, he makes sure there’s always something to eat, a warm shelter, and nothing that can harm it. He also gets very defensive if somebody bothers the unicorn.

I didn’t remember Tony being jealous, but I think it would be quite funny. I now picture Tony and the unicorn involved in a ‘war’ made of petty nuisances they create for each other – while America is completely oblivious to everything. He likes both of them equally and spends his time with whoever is the closest – or both. He really doesn’t have a favourite.

and on a similar note, I don’t think Bruce yells except in very specific situations.

like I don’t think he yells around the house when he’s annoyed or when the kids are pissing him off. he’s more of a lecture guy. so much so that the kids compete every year to see who gets the longest lecture. the winner gets some sort of bat themed merch (it changes every year. last year Duke got a pair of boxers with the bat symbol across the ass)

BUT

when Bruce is scared, he gets loud. He’ll yell about “how could you be so reckless” and how “I need you to be better than this.” It’s how the kids know they’ve really freaked him out.

the first time Dick gets yelled at by Bruce, he’s 10. He was jumping rooftops too fast and slipped. Bruce catches him by the cape, drags him back to the batmobile, and totally dresses him down.

Dick bursts into tears. Not because he’s scared, but because he can feel the fear rolling off Bruce in waves. and it feels so wrong for Bruce to be that scared because he’s The Batman and he’s not supposed to be scared of anything.

anyway. Bruce’s fear is loud.

hey folks! as most of us know, Joe Hills recently got married and he just tweeted that they're having some trouble financially due to a dental emergency. Since he's a Hermit and person who does so much in the community (including paying his mods), it would be great to be able to give back to him a bit! so, i'm sharing the link to his tweet and paypal:)

Link to Paypal

(and congrats to both of them on the marriage! wishing them all the best:D)

I see alot of posts about Tim's missing spleen and the batfams reaction to it but has anyone considered the much funnier options of Bruce, being an invasive psycho dad, doing some scan of his children finding out about his missing spleen and getting it back/replicating a new one. Like

Tim *bored and wanting to get a rise out of bruce*: the only thing I've ever truly lost is my spleen

Bruce *sipping coffee and reading a case*: batcave freezer underneath the popsicles but above the ice packs

Tim: wha-!

Bruce: if you hit the chunk of Jason from the explosion you've gone too far

A concept: your typical ragtag team of misfit supers, but they all follow different realities/logics as their powers.

One of them has standard anime/magical girl abilities, one can utilize cartoon logic to their advantage, one of them has near omniscience thanks to their ability to break the fourth wall, and another one has protagonist luck that ensures they always win.

people do correctly identify that laios is autistic fairly often but a lot of the reasoning begins and ends with his special interest and social difficulties, but honestly it goes far deeper into the build of his character than just those two things

his pain tolerance is wildly inconsistent, unable to tolerate a drop of hot oil (or any heat) but able to shrug off both his leg being bitten off and it being reattached

hes sensory seeking in the extreme. he rubs the bat bones against his face, pets and fluffs the shapeshifter tail.

his desire to eat monsters comes from three very autistic places. 1) the rules for why monsters are not okay to eat but animals are are arbitrary to him so he cannot follow them easily: he cannot understand the 'feelings' argument others make. 2) this too is a sensory seeking behavior. he wants to experience these new things, new flavors and new textures. 3) it completes his knowledge of the monster in question to also have data on its edibility. because he cannot draw that arbitrary line around all monsters, he wants to evaluate them case-by-case and see if real patterns emerge. butchering and eating the monsters improves his knowledge of them greatly and highlights their importance in their ecosystem, as well as making him a part of that same ecosystem

he cannot emote the way others expect him to. he compartmentalizes his feelings (to an unhealthy degree) because he needs a pragmatic solution. so as long as there is a problem to solve, that matters far more than evaluating his emotions and allowing himself to experience them. while this is also a coping mechanism for ptsd, it is a trait found in many autistic people regardless of trauma, as we have trouble sorting the feelings we have and often need time to think about what we feel, so it becomes easier to simply not do it and pretend we dont need to. laios emotions certainly affect him, with or without his processing them, but others do not see what they expect to see and thus dismiss that he is feeling what they would feel

he is incredibly gifted with pattern recognition, observation, and analysis within realms he understands. to understand subjects that dont come easily to him, he must filter them through his established schema (his special interest--this is why they are so special! they help us sort the world). when he isnt sure about the social cues and details hes observed in the shapeshifter arc, he filters it through the lens he understands best: monsters. he was making correct observations about his friends all along, but he could not be confident in that the way he was about their behavior when it came to his interest (chilchucks caution, senshis passions, and marcilles carelessness)

Plot armor but it’s Bruce Wayne’s wealth.

Bruce is one of the richest men in the world. Bruce does not want to be one of the richest men in world.

He starts by implementing high starting salaries and full health care coverages for all levels at Wayne Enterprises. This in vastly improves retention and worker productivity, and WE profits soar. He increases PTO, grants generous parental and family leave, funds diversity initiatives, boosts salaries again. WE is ranked “#1 worker-friendly corporation”, and productively and profits soar again.

Ok, so clearly investing his workers isn’t the profit-destroying doomed strategy his peers claim it is. Bruce is going to keep doing it obviously (his next initiative is to ensure all part-time and contractors get the same benefits and pay as full time employees), but he is going to have to find a different way to dump his money.

But you know what else is supposed to be prohibitively expensive? Green and ethical initiatives. Yes, Bruce can do that. He creates and fund a 10 year plan to covert all Wayne facilities to renewable energy. He overhauls all factories to employ the best environmentally friendly practices and technologies. He cuts contracts with all suppliers that engage in unethical employment practices and pays for other to upgrade their equipment and facilities to meet WE’s new environmental and safety requirements. He spares no expense.

Yeah, Wayne Enterprises is so successful that they spin off an entire new business arm focused on helping other companies convert to environmentally friendly and safe practices like they did in an efficient, cost effective, successful way.

Admittedly, investing in his own company was probably never going to be the best way to get rid of his wealth. He slashes his own salary to a pittance (god knows he has more money than he could possibly know what to do with already) and keeps investing the profits back into the workers, and WE keeps responding with nearly terrifying success.

So WE is a no-go, and Bruce now has numerous angry billionaires on his back because they’ve been claiming all these measures he’s implementing are too expensive to justify for decades and they’re finding it a little hard to keep the wool over everyone’s eyes when Idiot Softheart Bruice Wayne has money spilling out his ears. BUT Bruce can invest in Gotham. That’ll go well, right?

Gotham’s infrastructure is the OSHA anti-Christ and even what little is up to code is constantly getting destroyed by Rogue attacks. Surely THAT will be a money sink.

Except the only non-corrupt employer in Gotham city is….Wayne Enterprises. Or contractors or companies or businesses that somehow, in some way or other, feed back to WE. Paying wholesale for improvement to Gotham’s infrastructure somehow increases WE’s profits.

Bruce funds a full system overhaul of Gotham hospital (it’s not his fault the best administrative system software is WE—he looked), he sets up foundations and trusts for shelters, free clinics, schools, meal plans, day care, literally anything he can think of.

Gotham continues to be a shithole. Bruce Wayne continues to be richer than god against his Batman-ingrained will.

Oh, and Bruice Wayne is no longer viewed as solely a spoiled idiot nepo baby. The public responds by investing in WE and anything else he owns, and stop doing this, please.

Bruce sets up a foundation to pay the college tuition of every Gotham citizen who applies. It’s so successful that within 10 years, donations from previous recipients more than cover incoming need, and Bruce can’t even donate to his own charity.

But by this time, Bruce has children. If he can’t get rid of his wealth, he can at least distribute it, right?

Except Dick Grayson absolutely refuses to receive any of his money, won’t touch his trust fund, and in fact has never been so successful and creative with his hacking skills as he is in dumping the money BACK on Bruce. Jason died and won’t legally resurrect to take his trust fund. Tim has his own inherited wealth, refuses to inherit more, and in fact happily joins forces with Dick to hack accounts and return whatever money he tries to give them. Cass has no concept of monetary wealth and gives him panicked, overwhelmed eyes whenever he so much as implies offering more than $100 at once. Damian is showing worrying signs of following in his precious Richard’s footsteps, and Babs barely allows him to fund tech for the Clocktower. At least Steph lets him pay for her tuition and uses his credit card to buy unholy amounts of Batburger. But that is hardly a drop in the ocean of Bruce’s wealth. And she won’t even accept a trust fund of only one million.

Jason wins for best-worst child though because he currently runs a very lucrative crime empire. And although he pours the vast, vast majority of his profits back into Crime Alley, whenever he gets a little too rich for his tastes, he dumps the money on Bruce. At this point, Bruce almost wishes he was being used for money laundering because then he’s at least not have the money.

So children—generous, kindhearted, stubborn till the day they die the little shits, children—are also out.

Bruce was funding the Justice League. But then finances were leaked, and the public had an outcry over one man holding so much sway over the world’s superheroes (nevermind Bruce is one of those superheroes—but the public can’t know that). So Bruce had to do some fancy PR trickery, concede to a policy of not receiving a majority of funds from one individual, and significantly decrease his contributions because no one could match his donations.

At his wits end, Bruce hires a team of accounts to search through every crinkle and crevice of tax law to find what loopholes or shortcuts can be avoided in order to pay his damn taxes to the MAX.

The results are horrifying. According to the strictest definition of the law, the government owes him money.

Bruce burns the report, buries any evidence as deeply as he can, and organizes a foundation to lobby for FAR higher taxation of the upper class.

All this, and Wayne Enterprises is happily chugging along, churning profit, expanding into new markets, growing in the stock market, and trying to force the credit and proportionate compensation on their increasingly horrified CEO.

Bruce Wayne is one of the richest men in the world. Bruce Wayne will never not be one of the richest men in the world.

But by GOD is he trying.