Shoutout To Me For Ruining My Own Life

ENTP: *is infinitely caught in a loop of being glad that no one quite understands them and upset that no one understands them*

Why the types are dangerous: ENTP Edition

ENTPs will see all the possible outcomes of a situation before you can even finish processing one

They’ll have you second-guessing yourself in seconds

While you may be lulled into thinking that ENTPs are socially and emotionally inept, they’re looking to turn the tables on the people making them look awkward

Have uncrackable poker face

Masters of subtle sarcasm –Are they joking? Are they serious? Are they making fun of you? You’ll never know and therefore never have the upper hand

Nothing is ever enough, they always need more, they need to know more, they need to see more, they’re black holes

ENTPs find loopholes in everything, especially rules 

Shoutout to that ex that you never actually dated but when y'all stopped talking it felt just like a break up

me: *is born*

me: I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative, one that I have never asked to be a part of,

ME

TBH ENTP #110

I take every opportunity to insert lyrics into normal conversation because sOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME…

The best ENTP rant/description you’ve never heard 

Here’s my take with all the dirt. An ENTP looks great from the outside because we make you laugh, we give you true insightful criticism, we know all about your interests, and really “understand” you -we know logically why you feel like you do, even if you don’t. We find creative “why didn’t I think of that” solutions to not only your life problems but your computer problems too. We can charm your grandparents, your parents, and your friends. We can party with the extraverts, and sit in silence with the introverts. We can talk Trek with nerds, and Baudelaire with artsy-fartsies. You probably didn’t notice us in high school because we were in our embryonic pseudo INTP/INTJ morph. But you got surprised when you saw us back from college break and though we looked different (aka more desirable). We seem now just oh so dreamy and exciting. But all that takes a -lot- of energy. It’s a performance we put on tailor made, on the spot, just for you. Eventually we get tired and the mask slips off. That’s when you think we’re shallow or self-centered, but the truth is, you misunderstood our performance for personal interest. (And maybe we did too — it’s easy to lose yourself as a method actor.) But we’re just as cold and analytical ruthless as the other NTs: We don’t nitpick you apart like an INTJ, or categorize your usefulness like an ENTJ, or test your mental capacity like an INTP. We understand you by (subconsciously) pushing all your secret buttons…for good or bad. Maybe you fell in love with us, but now your angry and conflicted because you don’t understand why we’re suddenly being cold and distant. We’ve retreated — because while we’re good at faking emotion, and logically understanding why people feel a certain way, we’re really terrible at actually handling emotion. We get overpowered by it and annoyed by the illogicalness of it. ( Besides, we’ve already found a new shiny.) Now you hate us…but here is some consolation. We have a built-in nemesis and he’s a real bastard. We turn that critical wide-ranging eye on ourselves. You can’t see it from the outside, but were utter perfectionists in our heads and we relentlessly measure ourselves against the realistically unachievable. Somehow we can’t find the same easy solutions to our problems as to everyone else’s, and we become mired in too many possibilities, haunted by how inadequate our own creative efforts seem to us. We at once believe our own hype, and ruthlessly condemn ourselves. We’ll may you our creations (probably something ½ finished). We secretly want your praise, like an 8 yo child. We don’t accept your garlands though (unless you’re an expert we respect) — because we’ve already judged ourself against Perfection and came out wanting. If you tell us you think it’s good, we won’t believe you. For what you mistook as bravado and arrogance, is really very wry, very sarcastic self-mortification.  We can stagnate in our mess of ideas, with no external system of organization to help us move forward. We have brief mad rushes of energy —back, forward, right, left, a random walk of ideas with a net movement of zero. If you’re really smart, being an ENTP is a double curse…because your ideas are loftier, your movements more wide-ranging, your internal critic all the more perniciously accurate. You stand on the shoulders of titans, glimpsing something wonderful across the jungle of possibilities, and sketch out a map. But then it happens: SJ reality. They turn off your water because you forgot to pay the bill. A check bounces because you didn’t know how much money you had in the account. You burn dinner because you’re suddenly obsessed with typing out a manifesto on a blog. You tell a friend you’ll meet him at 7:00 and show up at 9:00. You forget to call your mother on her birthday. You put off simple annoyances (like depositing a check) for weeks. Your mighty creative intuition gets mostly employed to talk your way out of the stupid jams your procrastination landed you in. People with lesser talents, pass you by and you make excuses: (The internal critic says it’s because your stupid and lazy). You don’t get the promotion because while you have a lot of good ideas, you don’t follow through. You’re unreliable. You have no problems expressing your boredom with your job or critiquing your boss publicly in front of his superiors, not realizing the implications. SJ boss now -really- doesn’t like you. You get A’s in some college classes and F’s in others — but all your NT professors still think you’re intelligent, even the one’s giving your F’s, because they’ve fallen for your charms and excuses.  But people like you — they think your unique, clever and entertaining, because you are. They give you chances. So you pick yourself up, dust yourself off from your failures, and try again. Maybe you get your self another brilliant ENTP friend and start Apple Computer. Or write Candide. Or invent Quantum Electrodynamics. Or host the Daily Show. Maybe tomorrow. Or Next week. But what you’ll probably do, instead of working on finishing a paper your supposed to be readying for peer review, you’ll spend an hour typing out a cathartic blog post that’s maybe more about your own insecurities than being an ENTP. So is ENTP the best of all the types? Hell yes it is. =)”

@PersonalityCafe

ENTP: A Type In Words.

ISTJ | ISFJ | INFJ | INTJ | ISTP | ISFP | INFP | INTP | ESTP | ESFP | ENFP | ENTP | ESTJ | ESFJ | ENFJ | ENTJ

How to capture an ENTP

ENTPs are adorable humans that bounce around so quickly that you can’t really take your eyes off them or they will build two machines running on carbon dioxide and have sharpies for fingers. Those said sharpies are for decorating the walls!, the ENTPs would have insisted, but you shouldn’t have listen, you told yourself regretfully when you woke up to a specially modified face the next morning. However, they are still in great demand for you’ll want to hit and hug them at the same time. Sadly, you’ll have to catch those little tricksters first. Rain or shine, ENTPs will make you laugh and it’s a noticeable fact that INFJs have an adorable ENTP at their side to shower with extra love and care.

But what about the rest of us? The INTXs would cry out angrily, unable to accept the fact that for once, they could not capture such fast-paced, trash-talking, happy creatures. After all, impossible was not a concept in those introverted rationals head unless we are looking at the emotional aspect of humans. Looking at the statistics, there should be plenty of ENTPs to go around for there isn’t enough INFJs to buy them all. So how do you capture an ENTP?

Step One: Grab their attention. They have short attention spans. The one way is to walk up to them and rattle off a series of numbers to your next pseudo-hydrogen-titanium bomb project. They would be so intrigued, they will run after you, demanding for answers.

That is, if they didn’t nod understandingly and classify you as an idiot first.

Step two: Keep them chasing. ENTPs get bored easily. Wonder why INFJs ever throw their hands up exasperatedly and charge towards the all-willing ENFPs that open their arms for extra glomps? Well, probably not, because nobody saw that happening. ENTPs wants you to keep up a conversation. But how, the INTXs will now raised their eyebrows suspiciously, wary that this might be another trap. Simple! This ENTP will flick her hair arrogantly while dodging the rolled-up newspaper her INTJ just swung at her. Saw a new topic on discovery channel? Great, tell them. Ask their INFP friends on what they like. Found out why Saturn has it’s rings and Uranus have an extremely retarded name? Even better, bring it up the next time they frustratedly looked at the ceiling in (useless) attempt to pass time.

Assuming if they don’t learn it all first, which they probably did.

Step three: Do not be afraid to call them out for their bullshit. ENTPs exist for one reason: to explain absolutely idiotic (and inaccurate) synopsis of any known scientific facts just to examine which are the ones foolish enough to fall for their convincing lies. Everyone, that is. However, call them out for it. Disagree with them, and let them know that you see through everything. (Well, not their clothes, even if they make sexual innuendos about it. Trade your see-through googles for their nudes, if you are that desperate, and prepare to be duped.) Wow them with your critical thinking and if you successfully displayed to the ENTP that you are more cynical than the status quo, congratulations, you are 70% there!

Until they completely forget about your thinking charm and decided that XSTPs are sexy, while thinking that they should obtain one.

Step four: Be unpredictable. This speaks for itself spiritually. Don’t blow up the barbies they are planning to dissect though, that’s cruelty on its finest level.

Step five: Be rare. Yes, you read that right. We are rare enough, the INTXs will now cheer after reading this. Finally, a step we can accomplish, nodded an INTJ approvingly.

Do not make yourself too available. That is to say, do not talk to them everyday. The ENTPs are actually great at spotting out patterns and they will eventually (in a week) learn how your mind works while getting bored of you since what you say is entirely predictable, which ruins step four as well. Be scarce. Approach them quite a bit during the first few interactions and be scarce after that.

Note: if they wander about, looking adorably lost, it’s time for you to step in and gently guide them back to you. Do not completely abandon them, you’ll regret it after realizing that they reigned in a black hole and sucked everything up since they went unsupervised. If they respond to your messages with long paragraphs and frequent replies, they are interested. Do not engage them in small talk.

Step six: Do not get discouraged easily. ENTPs are wonderful at forgetting things. That is to say, if they do forget to reply to your one sentence message, you are probably boring them to death. Feed them paragraphs of literature. Show them satirical pictures of politics and life. Talk about philosophy with them. However, understand that they have difficulties maintaining a consistent psychological distance with people. They might seem shockingly close to you one day and randomly distant the next. Try to perk them up with the newest picture you found of a Stalin and Hitler relationship and be sure to double check their drinks for any love potions placed inside by an INFJ.

There you go. 6 steps on how to capture an ENTP. Think you can do it?

Credits to rationals-pub.tumblr.com for the original idea of writing the manual for obtaining an ENTP. I got inspired after reading theirs, read that awesome manual in the link below!

http://rationals-pub.tumblr.com/post/111903140076/intj-manual-how-to-obtain-your-very-own-entp

ENTP vs INTP: http://therequiemsofdreams.tumblr.com/post/112215041328/entp-vs-intp Also, follow my MBTI blog if you want more: the-fault-in-entps.tumblr.com

yep pretty much

My thoughts on summer (ENTP)

You’re all going to kill me but I don’t specially like summer. Let me explain. I like not having to study, good weather and being able to do whatever I want. But if I stay in my city I get extremely bored. I need to be continuously doing new things, talking to different people, I need excitement. I don’t even like going out with my friends because it’s all the time the same thing. I mean, I love them but I’d like to meet new people or at least have different plans with the ones I know instead of just hanging out in the street. I feel like this city suffocates me, it’s too small, I feel trapped. I kinda prefer when I have class because I have more things to do and I get distracted. It’s okay to have free time but too much is really tiring if you don’t know to spend it.

coming out of my cage and

going right back in