What If A Bird Flies Up My Ass What Do I Do Then Do I Just Have To Go To The Er And Fart It Back Out

I 💗 you transfems

I just think it would be so awesome sauce if there was a secret underground commune hidden under an old abandoned subway system that were born without feet and only drank horse milk but sadly this is only a hypothetical PURELY FICTIONAL. DO NOT look for the commune it DOES NOT EXIST and if you try to find it you’ll look really silly and everyone will point and laugh!!! Again not real

trans girls will have the most beautiful voices just so casually

Nothing will radicalize you faster than asking the people whose job is to help (like therapists, the police, etc) for help

The Easter bunny

“Daddy, who’s the Easter bunny and what is his connection to the Abrahamic religion system?”

Ronald, the husband, the father, the warrior, gazed down gently at little Michael, his youngest son. His deep voice that overwhelmed the boys ears with hope and wonder spoke. “Let me tell you a story, son. Do you remember the story of the manger? Of our lord Jesus Christ?” Michael nodded excitedly. He had always loved that story. “Well, there’s something I’ve never told you before about that story. A detail I left out. But today, my boy, you’re finally old enough to learn about Mary’s second son. You see, after Jesus was killed, Mary decided it was best for her youngest to run away and to take up a new identity. He lived for a very long time and changed a lot of lives. Lives like yours, Michael. Thankfully he stayed hidden for centuries before he was tragically cut short by an evil man named Pleurisy. Pleurisy was jealous of the man and his strengths. His godlike ability to pull light from the sky and control it as if a part of his own hand made him feel powerless, and when a man feels powerless he can do horrible things. This man was a very large public figure, so his death was covered up as to not cause country-wide outrage.” The other 4 of the sliver fox’s children had gathered around his feet in a circle, listening intently and staring up at him in awe of the story. Ronald had always had such a way of painting pictures with his words. The sights he spoke into existence as simply as tying a knot seemed the gather in towards his towering form and softly floated and buzzed around the seven heads in the room. “well, the man died long after his family and had no one to guide him to heaven to be amongst the others of God’s children. So, he lay waiting in his casket for that very special day that his older brother would rise to join him in the afterlife, and one day, that day came. On easter morning, the man had leapt into the stars, leaving his body and his life behind. Now, children. The Easter bunny. Which one wanted to hear about him? You? The adopted one, right?” Michael spoke again with visible tears on his face “I’m adopted?” They stared at each other for a moment “ Yeah… Anyway, a rabbit priest, a priestly rabbit came hopping along a few years later with quite an intent for disruption. He dug a burrow into the thick mound of dirt he had claimed as his own only to meet something hard. ‘Metal? Cement?’ He thought. Wood. The rabbit has dug so far down that he had reached the man’s casket. And being a curious rabbit, he climbed inside to see if the man had been a practicing Christian. No cross was found around the neck of the picked clean bone he found there. The rabbit was disappointed. It was getting cold out and so he climbed inside of the forms ribcage, hoping he wouldn’t mind the company. The days turned into nights until the rabbit had realized it had become Easter yet again. As the skeleton began to move on its own it pulled the animal out from inside it by the ear and asked it what it had been doing in there. The rabbit assured him that he meant no harm and that he was just very cold. They made a deal that since the man couldn’t come down to earth all year, that the rabbit could keep his remains safe and dedicate his life to spreading his message. They both agreed and they shook on it. It was a beautiful spring day when the rabbit decided to bring the skeleton outside and disguised it inside costume of himself. He egged people houses and he told people to ‘suck it!!’ And all was well in America. And that man, oh how he smiles down upon all of you kids, I just know it.” “Really? How would you know?” Ronald Reagan glanced up at his husband Benjamin Franklin Christ and tucked a strand of his long, silver hair behind his ear. Their smiles two halves of the same ring. “Oh, I know.”

You’re like a little ant I’m gonna put you in my toothbrush so you think you’re stuck in the woods but everyone will know that you aren’t and they’ll laugh at you

I want you to leave me at the bottom of a deep, long abandoned well with a viscous and diseased poisonous snake and then slowly fill the well with water

Rotating on that dick like it’s a sit n’ spin. Or a hot dog on the hot dog roller

if you're gonna mock psychosis, consider this:

1. you are a cunt

2. you're a cunt

3. you're a fucking cunt

4. you're a cunt

5. you are, in fact, a cunt.

feels weird being like. yeah i think boobs and ass and penis are cool, no i do not want to physically interact sexually with a person, but also i'll like platonically honk your boob or hog or whatever with the same level of seriousness as like giving you a high five