My Dick Game Is Awful. Its Killing People.

first nap you had after waking up from a coma would be a nail biter. you'd be wondering

i still call her marina and the diamonds i don’t give a fuck

My pet bacteria just walked into a puddle of hand sanitizer and died

eugh..!! pleugh.. cough cough.. eugffh.. bleugjh.... ptoo...

I never understood why "Sucks dick" means "Thing nobody likes" should be the polar opposite "This meal is so good, it sucks dick!" You know? OH SHIT

i should figure out how to homebrew white monster actually

Every Single Person In The Country Of Denmaark Loves Me And If I Ever Learn Anything To The Contrary I Will Nuke Them To The Stone Ages

Interview with Diana Wynne Jones

your boyfriend is so brick shaped we used him to build a house. you can still talk to him but hes a house now. sorry