Things Bucky Says While He Is Eating You Out (Bucky X Female Reader)

Ok but like how do you say "No" to this.

Tony: hey do you want to come over and like vape

Steve: dude im vaping with Bucky today

Tony: we always vape on Tuesdays

Y/n: so if you were in this age group you are most likely to experience a serious violent crime: 10-12, 13-16, 18-21, 15-18

Loki: 10-12

Y/n: no its 18-21

Loki: clearly this is not based off my life

Y/n: yeah im not going to open that can of worms

Bonus :

Y/n: you next.

Nat: alright shoot

Y/n: men in this state statistically buy small sized protection: Pennsylvania, Kentucky,

Nat: Missisipi

Y/n: i didnt even-

Y/n: thats right

Nat: i knew it

Loki: now that is a can of worms i would like to open

Sam: if you had to choose walker or whatever money i have in my pocket what would you choose?

Walker: bucky *smiles*

Bucky: how much do you have?

Sam: one cent

Bucky: i'll take it

Walker: BUCKY!!!

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Ok but can we look at how support the mum is and how happy he is to find out he's a dad???

why is the metal community so pressed abt this it’s literally hilarious. 10/10. love it. i want it.

Washington: oh yeah ill look it over nice work

Hamlinton: good thanks dad

Everyone: *stares*

Hamlinton: why is everyone starting at me?

Eliza: You just called General Washington dad

Hamilton: what? Nobi didnt i said thanks man

Washington: do you see me as a father figure Alexandre

Hamilton: what?! No! If anything i see him as a bother figure cause youre always bothering me

Madison: hey show your father some respect

Hamilton: i didnt call him dad!

Washington: No no no. Alex i take it as a compliment

Burr: its no big deal i called theodosia mom once and she's my fiance.

Hamiltion: guys jump on that burr has psychosexual issues

Jefferson: old news but you calling the general daddy

Hamilton: hey daddy is not on the table here

Seabury: but you did call call him dad dude

Hamilton: you shut up youve done nothing but lie since you got here

Game night #1

Tony: Orange, "first to mess up loses a card; hangover helpers." uhhh gatorade

Bruce: a nice breakfast

Valkyrie: hangover? What is this?

Tony: you actually need to stop drinking to get a hangover valkyrie.

Valkyrie: that is lose, lose situation

Peter: Mr. Pool what sexuality are you?

Deadpool: Sexual.

Peter: what???

Deadpool: Sexual.

Bucky: this is so dumb

Sam: the higher i am the better i can see

Bucky: you can- you can fly

Sam: hush now bucky i am searching