Nothing That A Haircut And A Wardrobe Update And A Detox And A Sex Change And A Fake ID And Getting Medicated

And this two faced bitch is seeing twice as many stars as usual

Jason walking into the kitchen, whistling and looking suspiciously happy: Another day, another slay

*later that day

Dick: have you seen the news? Apparently someone killed the Joker

Tim:

Tim: Oh, he was serious?

they meant visor-

not a visa.

jesus christ

???

NAH WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK>??

yknow what. being the only female looking person in a game of dodgeball is fucking wild bro

f1 poll series

this is part 1 of a survey idea i've had. each poll will be a week long and they will all run at the same time.

feel free to participate and tell us which your favourite team(s) are and why :D

i might do a general version as well later on (not just 2024 season) along with a poll about DTS.

Note: I can't do favourite drivers as it won't let me have that many options on a poll :((

Also Americans forgive the spelling.

pope francis died without lezzing out. don't let that happen to you.

Above and Beyond Chap. 16

The NASA conference room buzzed with an undercurrent of tension as Jack and Maddie Fenton burst through the door, arms laden with an assortment of bizarre contraptions. Teddy Sanders suppressed a wince, exchanging a glance with Vincent Kapoor.

"Behold, the Fenton Ghost Decimator!" Jack bellowed, brandishing what looked like a strange high-tech leaf blower. "Guaranteed to reduce any spectral entity to ectoplasmic goo!"

Maddie beamed, her goggles glinting with a special type of madness. "And this little beauty," she added, holding up a compact device, "is the Ecto-Disruptor. It scrambles a ghost's molecular structure."

Kapoor leaned towards Teddy, whispering, "Are we sure these people are... stable?"

Teddy forced a smile. "They're experts in their field, Vincent."

As the Fentons launched into their demonstration, Teddy's unease grew. The technology was undeniably advanced - far beyond anything NASA had encountered. But the ethical implications were troubling.

Jack aimed the Decimator at a potted plant, which promptly burst into flames. "Oops! Wrong setting!"

Maddie rushed to extinguish the fire, laughing nervously. "It's usually more precise. We're still working out some kinks."

Kapoor pinched the bridge of his nose. "Mr. and Mrs. Fenton, while your inventions are... impressive, I'm concerned about their potential for harm……when we were recommended your expertise, I was hoping for more on the diplomacy front with these beings."

Jack waved dismissively. "Harm? Ghosts aren't alive, my good man! They're ectoplasmic scum that need to be eradicated!"

Maddie's eyes gleamed with a fervor that made Teddy's skin crawl. "Oh, if we could just get our hands on that ghost boy... The things we could learn by taking him apart molecule by molecule!"

Kapoor stood abruptly, his usually calm demeanor cracking. "That is absolutely out of the question. Phantom is not to be harmed under any circumstances."

"The ghost boy is manipulating you!" Maddie hissed. "He's not capable of real emotions. It's all an act!"

Teddy raised his hands, silencing the room. "Mr. and Mrs. Fenton, I understand your expertise in ghost-related matters. However, I need to make something very clear." He met their eyes firmly. "We are treating this as first contact with an alien species. Phantom will be afforded all the rights and protections that entails."

The Fentons deflated visibly, exchanging frustrated glances.

Maddie fumed at this. *If I didn’t need to find Danny, I’d blast that ghost boy as soon as I can* Maddie thought to herself. The only reason they had taken this deal was because the US government had afforded a good amount of money, and a promise to help them find their boy. All they had to do was play nice with NASA and let the government have access to their technology and portal. Now she didn’t mind sharing her work, it was about time people took them seriously. But she did get the feeling if she refused the government would have just taken it, claiming it to be a matter of national security.

Kapoor leaned forward, his brow furrowed. "About this ghost portal. You built it in your basement?"

"Sure did!" Jack beamed. "Punched a hole right through the fabric of our dimension!"

Kapoor's jaw dropped. "That's... that's incredible. And incredibly dangerous! Do you have any idea of the safety protocols you've violated?"

Maddie waved a hand dismissively. "Oh, we take precautions."

"Like what?" Kapoor pressed.

Jack scratched his head. "Well, we keep the Fenton Anti-Creep Stick nearby."

Maddie patted her husband’s arm in fondness. “we also keep our home heavily armed with anti-ghost technology.”

“I’ve read up on Amity, aren’t they attacked almost every day?” Kapoor asked.

“Amity is the most haunted city in America, it’s why we chose it. I doubt it has any connection.” Maddie defended.

Teddy massaged his temples, feeling a headache coming on. These people were brilliant, but their methods were beyond unorthodox. At least the teens had been more sensible and better yet helpful. Quickly getting them up to speed and even providing a way to contact Phantom and Mark on Mars.

Which is why Teddy had decided to let the four teens stay. He was very impressed with how Sam and Jazz even had the forethought to go directly to the president for help. He had a hunch they would be a better source for ghost-related matters.

"Sooooo," Sam interrupted Jack Fentons long rant on how evil ghosts were, "we've been inside the Ghost Zone and the citizens of the zone are nothing like that."

The room fell silent.

Jazz nodded. "We used the Specter Speeder."

"Which is?” Kapoor asked.

“It’s like a shuttlecraft, it can travel through the zone, and it can probably even go to space,” Tucker answered.

Kapoor turned to Jack and Maddie. “You built a craft capable of traversing dimensions and the vacuum of space?"

"Well, yeah," Maddie said. "It was just a fun weekend project."

Tucker spoke up. "The Ghost Zone isn't what you think. It has its own civilization, laws, even culture, they are like us, some bad some good, and everything in between."

Sam nodded emphatically. "Phantom isn't some mindless or evil entity.”

“Have you been to this zone, Mr. and Mrs. Fenton?” Teddy asked.

“Well, no……that would be dangerous,” Maddie replied.

Kapoor turned to the Fentons, his voice rising. "You've never even been to this other dimension? Yet you cling to theories formed before your portal was operational?"

Jack puffed out his chest. "Now see here-"

"Perhaps," Kapoor pressed, "your assumptions about ghosts – about Phantom – could be wrong?"

Teddy watched the argument unfold. The teens clearly knew more than they were letting on. And their connection to Phantom... There were pieces to this puzzle he was still missing, but he could place what those pieces were.

"Look," Mitch Henderson said, his voice cutting through the heated debate, "I don't care about ghost zones or alien civilizations. All I care about is getting Mark Watney home safely. If that means working with ghosts, aliens, or whatever Phantom is, so be it."

He turned to Jack and Maddie, his displeasure evident. "But I won't stand for how you're talking about the kid. Alien or ghost, he's still a person."

Maddie opened her mouth to protest, but Teddy cut her off. "Agreed, Mitch. Let's focus on the task at hand, which is how to get them home.”

****** In the main control room of NASA, Teddy had the Fenton flip phone connected to some speakers. This conversation would be broadcast live to the public and the world.

As the connection crackled to life, Mark's voice filled the room. "Houston, we have a problem. And by problem, I mean I'm still stuck on Mars with a ghost kid."

Danny's echoey voice followed. "Hey, I resent that. I'm great company."

Teddy spoke. "Gentlemen, we're working on bringing you both home. The Fentons are here to assist with their expertise."

There was a pause before Mark spoke again. "Does my crew know I'm alive?"

"No, not yet. We wanted to ensure we had a viable rescue plan before-"

"That's bullshit!" Mark exploded. "They think I'm dead! How could you-"

"Mark," Teddy cut in, his tone sharp, “I need to remind you that this is live right now, so watch the language.”

“Oh fuck that!” Mark snarked back.

Teddy sighed, feeling the weight of his decisions. "We were trying to get you home first, Mark. We didn't want to give them false hope."

"False hope?" Mark's voice cracked. "They think I'm dead! They deserve better than that."

Mitch nodded, his eyes meeting Teddy's. "He's right. We should have told them sooner." He turned to Tucker, an idea forming. "Kid, you're good with tech, right? Think you could help with that?"

Tucker grinned, already pulling out his PDA. "Piece of cake. Give me five minutes, and Mark can be chatting with his crew directly. Those Fenton phones can connect anywhere."

Teddy Sanders cleared his throat, his gaze sweeping across the room before settling on the communication device. "Phantom, we're about to open the floor to some questions from the public. Remember, this is being broadcast live worldwide."

Danny's voice echoed through the speakers, a hint of nervousness evident. "Okay, I'm ready."

Teddy scanned the tablet in his hands. "First question: 'What exactly is the Ghost Zone, and how does it relate to our world?'"

There was a brief pause before Danny responded, "The Ghost Zone is like... a parallel dimension. It’s tied to our world. And it’s where ghosts live. It's vast, with floating islands and doors that lead to different realms."

Teddy nodded, moving on. "Next: 'Why did you initially claim to be an alien?'"

Danny's voice wavered slightly. "I... I was scared. I didn't know how people would react to a ghost, and well its technically not a lie, the ghosts from the zone are alive, just different than humans.”

As Teddy read through more questions, Jack and Maddie Fenton exchanged glances, their expressions hardening. Jack's meaty hand clenched into a fist, while Maddie's eyes narrowed behind her goggles.

"'What's your favorite food?'" Teddy continued, attempting to lighten the mood.

A soft chuckle came through the speakers. "Honestly? I really miss my mom's cookies right now."

Maddie didn’t buy it. *Look at him try to manipulate us*  

Suddenly, Jack pushed forward  “Ghost boy, while back, you were caught stealing from stores, there’s footage of you robbing, care to explain that?”

"I was under mind control! I would never-"

"Lies!" Maddie spat. "You don't have us fooled, Phantom. We know what you really are - a monster!"

Teddy quickly turned the conversation back to Phantom by asking more questions. He was doing damage control. After all not everyone in the public liked the idea of ghosts or aliens.

After a few more questions he quickly cut the connection.

Teddy gave Mr. and Mrs. Fenton a stern look. "We don't need that kind of talk. It's irresponsible and could incite violence."

Maddie huffed, crossing her arms. "The public should be upset about this. That... thing is dangerous!"

******

Back on Mars the connection cut out.

Danny's luminous green eyes dimmed, and he slumped against the wall of the Hab, sliding down until he sat on the cold floor.

"They... they really think I'm a monster," Danny whispered, his voice cracking.

Mark knelt beside him, placing a comforting hand on Danny's shoulder. "Hey, kid. Don't let it get to you. They don't know what they're talking about."

Danny looked up, his eyes brimming with tears. "But they're my parents, Mark. They don't know it's me, but... it still hurts."

Mark sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Look, I'm no expert on ghost-human hybrids or whatever, but I do know one thing: those two are idiots for not recognizing their own son. I mean, come on! Your voice is practically the same, just with a cool echo effect."

A weak chuckle escaped Danny's lips. "Yeah, I guess. It's just... I've always hoped they'd see past the ghost thing, you know? That they'd realize I'm not evil."

"Well, they're just idiots and fools." Mark said. "And hey, at least we know NASA's got your back.”

Danny nodded. "Yeah, that was pretty great.”

Back on Earth after everyone went home. Kapoor asked Teddy to meet him in his office before they called it a night.

In Kapoor’s office, two photographs lay side by side on the desk. Teddy Sanders felt his heart skip a beat as he stared at the images, his mind reeling with disbelief.

"What did you want to show me?" Teddy asked.

Kapoor gestured to the photos. "Take a look at these photos, Teddy. One is of Danny Phantom, our ghost boy on Mars. The other is Danny Fenton, son of Maddie and Jack Fenton."

Teddy's eyes darted between the two images, his face growing paler by the second. The resemblance was uncanny, almost impossible to deny. He shook his head, willing it not to be true. "No, this can't be right."

Teddy picked up the photos, bringing them closer to his face. He scrutinized every detail, looking for any discrepancy that might disprove the alarming theory forming in his mind. But the more he looked, the more certain he became. While the hair color, and eye color were different, the face structure and everything else was the same. If these were in black and white, they would be mistaken as the same person.

"This should be impossible... right?" Teddy looked at Kapoor, “One is a human and one is clearly not!”

Kapoor shrugged, his expression grim. "At this rate, Teddy, anything is possible. Besides don’t you know, ghosts are basically souls right? Besides maybe it’s possible to be both. We may call them ghosts, but I think alien is a better term. Anyway, the Fenton kid went missing around the time Phantom showed up on Mars. Or at least, he hasn't been seen since then."

Teddy let his mind wander into deep thought. *If this was true, it would change everything. *

"But wouldn't they notice?" Teddy asked. "They're his parents, for God's sake."

Kapoor's response was matter-of-fact. "They might be geniuses, Teddy, but they're still strangely oblivious. It's not outside the realm of possibility."

Teddy set the photos back on Kapoor's desk. He took a deep breath.

"Vincent," he said, his voice low and tense, "we need to keep this quiet. For now."

Kapoor raised an eyebrow. "For once I agree.”

Teddy nodded.  "But I want you to keep digging. There are clearly questions that need to be answered." He ran a hand through his hair, his political instincts warring with his conscience. "If this gets out before we understand what's really going on, it could be catastrophic."

"Agreed," Kapoor replied.

Teddy paced the office. "You know," he said, almost to himself, "I've had a feeling those teens were hiding something. The way they act, the things they say... it all makes a disturbing kind of sense now."

"What are you thinking?" Kapoor asked, leaning forward.

Teddy stopped pacing and locked eyes with Kapoor. "I'm thinking we don’t have all the pieces to this puzzle.”  

erm… you’re still on twitter??

Yeah I mostly use it nowadays to tell AI-bros and Nazis to kill themselves.