This Video Made Me Cry So I Wanted To Put It Here

18.

Okay seriously. Reblog if you're OLDER than 11.

GM: Whoo! More doors!

Druid: Mordor? That’s where the One Ring is kept!

“I have a bedroll and a canteen, can I roll to waterboard him?”

- The neutral good cleric, about the plantation owner we just abducted

The party was attacked by a colony of wererats in a cave system. The wizard/rogue had a plan to use a scroll of mass teleport to escape, but everyone had to be within 20 feet of him, and the warlock was about to run down a corridor deeper into the wererat colony to take out as many as possible. The paladin cast Compelled Duel on the warlock to force him to attack her and move within 20 feet of the wizard/rogue.

Warlock: I’m going to kill you now!

Paladin: First you have to hit me!

Warlock: What’s your armor class without your armor on?

Paladin: What?

Warlock: I cast Command– “STRIP!”

fuck it homebrew boop button. reblog this post to boop the person you reblogged from.

Instrument: flat

Me: *pushes in*

Instrument: sharp

Me: what do you want from me

Druid: Wait, if we hit a dude in the nuts they take force damage?

DM: Yep.

Fighter: Damn. I should have been kicking people more.

Warlock: An eldritch blast to the dick.